Take A Stand- Against-A Revolt of Absolute Truth!

February 18, 2009

 

Take A Stand Ministries (TSM) with the help of their Bible Based Satellite (BS) are taking a stand against a revolt of absolute truth. In news coverage that has blanketed the continent everyone is in revolt of the truth. “It’s true!“ Commented a teen from the Midwest, “Everyone is bailing on truth.” Another 20 something suggested “To tell you the truth, something is going on” News affiliates from across the nation noted that scientists have discarded logic and wholesale rejection of numbers. One bystander outside a scientific forum commented “these scientists have gone mad, they are now doing strange things like drawing strange symbols with chalk and babbling to one another.”


We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia don’t ask to many questions, we trust what we read is the truth!


SoL Develops DUMB Thanks To Angry Woman Making Sins Public

February 18, 2009

Slice of Laodicea (SoL), always on the cusp of late breaking news has this just in…. ”A women is so upset that a church is about to make her immorality public that she goes to the news media to complain about it.” SoL continues with their scintillating commentary ”A woman is upset that a small number of people will be aware of her unrepentant immorality so she decides to inform millions on sites like Fox News?”  Shear CRAZINESS!!! But a respectable Discernmentalist Ministry such as SoL is unrestrained!  Moreover, SoL also notes a positive “This church needs to be thanked for their biblical stance at a time when morals, not to mention IQ’s, are circling the drain.”

The developer D.U.M.B.

How would SoL know whether morals and IQ’s are circling the drain?

 

Just as Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries (TSM) has the Bible-Based Satellite (BS for short), SoL has a card (a biblical one) up their sleeves… SoL has been secretly developing the very sophisticated ability to measure IQ’s and Morality circling a toilet drain….dubbed the Drain-U-Meter Buster. They prefer the CODE NAME “DUMB ”. With the assistance of DUMB they can ascertain both IQ’s and Morality Depravity within 2% margin of error.


 

Keeping you informed so you don’t have to do the thinking yourself – the Online Discernmentalist Mafia!

PS Please note that iDumb (Inquisitive Drain-U-Meter-Buster) is a potential runner up for the SoL Technology. SoL has yet to make a publically approved statement.


“H” Rays Discovered by Intense Discernmentalist Ministry Co-operation Standing For Truth

February 18, 2009

lazar-jesus

 

 

Mainstream North Americas are well aware of gamma and x-rays. Few citizens of our fine continent are attentive to the intense online discernmentalist ministries (ODM) extreme black project that has gone underway this past ten years. Spearheading the intense research were such noteworthy discernmentalist ministries as The Online Discernmentalist Mafia (ODMafia), Slice of Laodicea (SoL), Take A Stand Ministries (TSM) and Apprising Ministries (AM).  ODMAfia underwrote the finances while SoL spearheaded a no-evolution approach to Heresy Hunting. TSM and AM who rejects conventional approaches to research (ie objectivity, reading actual books, thinking), struck upon the “H-Ray” by accident. As quoted “While working on our black project a book on the Emerging Church (we were NOT reading this book for fun – but for research purposes) was accidentally placed on top of our experimental machine. The lights and dials went ballistic!!!! Through serendipity we KNEW that we had detected the long sought after Heresy-Ray – hence H-Ray.

 


We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia stand for truth, but not insightful questions. However, with the newly discovered H-Ray we will use this device to hunt out Heresy everywhere in the name of truth, justice and the American way.


Charles Colson Caught In another Scandal

February 18, 2009

 colson

Several online discernment ministries broke news today with another Chuck Colson Scandal; almost 40 years later. It was found that Colson was using worldly tools in his prison outreach ministry. The online discernment ministries were most concerned alarmed and concerned (and alarmed!) again over his use of electricity. One source that wanted to remain in obscurity noted “this is simply outrageous – this man is entirely immoral. How dare he use electricity? Power lines are often strung between hydro poles and towers….in the air” The anonymous informer noted “I think he follows the ruler of the kingdom of the air – it seems very plain to me” It is plain to us here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia….Charles Colson follows the “ruler of the kingdom of the air.” We having to repeat ourselves, but our important insights are worth repeating. If we don’t put a stop to it…who will?


We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia don’t ask too many questions, we trust what we read is the truth (the absolute truth)!


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