February 19, 2009
Due to being the finest, most discernmentalist, and so incredibly faithful in seeking out and destroying heretics…The Online Discernmentalist Mafia demands you to pay up and donate. One can hardly buy the type of discernmentalist discernmentalism that we offer.
Consider the benefits….
1) We were the first to bring you coverage of Obama’s immoral dance moves and noting that he stays up past 8pm on a school nite
2) We are the first to celebrate Judgmentalism Day…
3) We get more outraged over heresy than anyone else!
4) NO ONE, I MEAN NO ONE is more self righteous than I. Todyaso and therefore has deeper insights than all other Online Discernmentalists combined.
5) We quote from the KJV exclusively. In fact we refer to KJV with 12 pt type or higher (thereby giving us more yelling and bible authority than the average user)
6) Our website is the only website in the world that points towards Jerusalem.
Although NONE of our readers are actually worthy of our readership and apostasy hunting, we feel obliged to tell you to pay up, you will benefit greatly from our deep and penetrating insights.
February 19, 2009
Using the latest in Discernmentalist Technologies Christianity Today has been found fraudulent. SoL noted “We have made a huge break through on this obviously immoral and non-biblical magazine.”* SoL further commented and what exactly was exposed, “Christianity Today misleads the public with the word ‘TODAY.‘ They don’t actually create the magazine during the day of publication….it takes weeks, some article even months….frankly this is entirely misleading and I think Christians should reject this type of yellow journalism.”*
The Online Discernmentalist Mafia rejects discounts and laments any misleading yellow journalism. In fact, like SoL, we only MISLEAD if we think we have a better edge on the truth than anybody else! Thanks to SoL special discernmental abilities and warnings we will stay clear of that trashy magazine. Good riddance Christianity Today!
PS We beg all readers to read only the Online Discernmentalist Mafia for bible based absolute truth. Read us now, believe us later.
*Though no one at SoL actually stated these words we here at ODMafia know that they would have if they had thought of them first.