Steve Camp Ruins Everything!

March 31, 2009

markd-brain

Steve Camp ruins everything! Yes, Steve has now become “emerging“! He has “reconciled with Mark Driscoll who we all know and love as the “cussing pastor” who cusses in every sentence he utters. Yes, it seems that Stevo has been sucking into the vortex of heresy! Let us hope this is just an early April Fool’s joke Steve Camp is playing!, If not, there is always next week!


John MacArthur is clear, the Christian Life is not to be experienced!

March 30, 2009

I was pleased to come across a great article that really sticks it to those Charismatics. Yes, John MacArthur hits is out of the ball park as he sums up TRUE CHRISTIANITY. The Christian life is all about “right” belief and should not be experienced. We here at the ODMafia applaud such well balanced and unbiased teachings.


Chris Pajak thought for the day!

March 30, 2009

 

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All public confession is self serving blather.” (Comment #4)

We here at the ODMafia agree with Chris Pajak**… and the book of James*  must be held in suspect… in some cases we must stay true to our OWN doctrines so that  the biblical truth will not get into the wrong hands! We agree that no one should publically repent or ocnfess their sins as it not only is wrong according to truth Truth Warriors, but also shows the weakness of compassion toward others!

*James 5:15-16 15.  And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16.  Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (Please disregard this scripture as it might mean something!)

** Chris Pajak is a contibutor to CRN run by Ken Silva


Russian envoy sees NATO summit as key to lies

March 29, 2009

 

Russian envoy suggests that the New Adherence (to) Truth Organization ( a consortium of Online Discermentalist Ministries) (NATO) “will have a strong impact on prospects for restoring full truth-relations between Russia and NATO, ” Moscow’s ambassador to NATO said on Friday.

“We will read attentively the (final) truth document to be adopted by heads of state at this summit and, judging by what it says with regard to Russia, we will formulate our opinion.”

NATO suspended relations with Russia after it fought a truth war with ex-Soviet Georgia last year to quell Tbilisi’s attempt to retake the heretical Georgian region of South Ossetia. NATO has described Russia’s actions as disproportionate and inadmissible.


Apple and the Online Discernmentalists Mafia schedules developers event for June

March 29, 2009

 

SteveJobs.jpg Steve Jobs image by mballek

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) – Apple Inc and the Online Discernmentalists Mafia has scheduled its annual developers conference for the second week in June, with plenty of buzz surrounding its product plans.

At last year’s gathering, Chief Executive Steve Jobs took the stage to formally unveil the second-generation, 3G iTruth. The device was an immediate hit with consumers (especially Online Discernmentalist Ministries), selling 6.9 million units in its first quarter on the market. Take A Stand Ministries spokesman said “This is a great leap forward in fighting the truth wars, soon absolute truth will be known by all…and those who reject it will be destroyed by our newly introduced Pentagon Ministry of Truth Warrior Division.” Online Discernmentalists can’t go wrong with this kind of backing!

 


Madonna seeks to adopt stray Online Discernmentalist Ministry

March 29, 2009

 

LILONGWE (Reuters) – Madonna’s bid to adopt an obscure Online Discernmentalist Ministry, known as Appraising Ministries (not to be construed with the more famous and hard hitting Apprising Ministries) will be examined by a court in the southern African country next week, officials said on Friday.

Madonna, who was divorced last year from British film director Guy Ritchie, is one of the most successful singers of all time, with album sales of more than 200 million.


Northern U.S. flooding may cut Online Discernmentalist Ministries B.S. by a Large Margin

March 29, 2009

 

 

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 North Dakota and Minnesota girded for the worst flooding in years, which could prompt farmers to cut Online Discernmentalist BS by 50% or more. The Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s Robot Monkey’s have been cultivating BS and containing it in special storage tanks underneath our monolithic research bunker in case of such emergencies.


Sudan says suspects Online Discernmentalist Ministries behind raids on convoys

March 27, 2009

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia Research Robot Monkeys using osmosis, and hunches to big stories have dug this up using the latest in truth-war research “Sudan said on Friday it believed the Online Discernmentalist Ministries Consortium was behind two attacks on suspected smuggler convoys which killed up to 40 people in the remote north of the country in January and February.” The New York Times, a yellow journalistic commie rag noted “The New York Times on Friday quoted unnamed U.S. officials as saying that Online Discernmentalist warplanes carried out an attack in January that was suspected of ferrying bibles to Gaza during the Online Discernmentalist offensive against Rob Bell.”


Japan readies defenses for Online Discernmentalist Rocket Launch

March 27, 2009

(Reuters) Japan on Friday ordered its military to prepare to intercept any dangerous debris that might fall on its territory if a rocket launch planned by Online Discernmentalist Ministries (ODM) goes wrong. Last year ODM’s launched a Discernmentalist Rocket against Japan in a fight against truth. The rocket made it as high as the tree tops before exploding and littering the countryside with Discernmentalist Truth Flyers. Neighbouring countries demanded clean up immediately….some calling for Blue Box Measures and environmental fines.


Rick Warren captures first world figure skating crown

March 27, 2009

Toronto (Reuters) -Unbeknownst to most Online Discernmentalist but researched by the ODMafia Robot Research Monkey’s it was revealled that “American almost Emergent-Heretic sympatheizer and so called Evangelist Rick Warren delighted a partisan home crowd with an emphatic free skate to capture his first men’s world championship title on Thursday.”

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Celebrating before he had even finished his routine, Warren wowed the judges to record a top score of 159.53 and complete the competition with a 242.23 total, well ahead of Canadian silver medalist Patrick Chan, who scored 237.58. Take a Stand Ministries was OUTRAGED that Warren did not attempt to preach the gospel once while skating before a crowd of 1000 enthusiasts.


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