Russian envoy sees NATO summit as key to lies

March 29, 2009

 

Russian envoy suggests that the New Adherence (to) Truth Organization ( a consortium of Online Discermentalist Ministries) (NATO) “will have a strong impact on prospects for restoring full truth-relations between Russia and NATO, ” Moscow’s ambassador to NATO said on Friday.

“We will read attentively the (final) truth document to be adopted by heads of state at this summit and, judging by what it says with regard to Russia, we will formulate our opinion.”

NATO suspended relations with Russia after it fought a truth war with ex-Soviet Georgia last year to quell Tbilisi’s attempt to retake the heretical Georgian region of South Ossetia. NATO has described Russia’s actions as disproportionate and inadmissible.


Apple and the Online Discernmentalists Mafia schedules developers event for June

March 29, 2009

 

SteveJobs.jpg Steve Jobs image by mballek

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) – Apple Inc and the Online Discernmentalists Mafia has scheduled its annual developers conference for the second week in June, with plenty of buzz surrounding its product plans.

At last year’s gathering, Chief Executive Steve Jobs took the stage to formally unveil the second-generation, 3G iTruth. The device was an immediate hit with consumers (especially Online Discernmentalist Ministries), selling 6.9 million units in its first quarter on the market. Take A Stand Ministries spokesman said “This is a great leap forward in fighting the truth wars, soon absolute truth will be known by all…and those who reject it will be destroyed by our newly introduced Pentagon Ministry of Truth Warrior Division.” Online Discernmentalists can’t go wrong with this kind of backing!

 


Madonna seeks to adopt stray Online Discernmentalist Ministry

March 29, 2009

 

LILONGWE (Reuters) – Madonna’s bid to adopt an obscure Online Discernmentalist Ministry, known as Appraising Ministries (not to be construed with the more famous and hard hitting Apprising Ministries) will be examined by a court in the southern African country next week, officials said on Friday.

Madonna, who was divorced last year from British film director Guy Ritchie, is one of the most successful singers of all time, with album sales of more than 200 million.


Northern U.S. flooding may cut Online Discernmentalist Ministries B.S. by a Large Margin

March 29, 2009

 

 

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 North Dakota and Minnesota girded for the worst flooding in years, which could prompt farmers to cut Online Discernmentalist BS by 50% or more. The Online Discernmentalist Mafia’s Robot Monkey’s have been cultivating BS and containing it in special storage tanks underneath our monolithic research bunker in case of such emergencies.


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