SoL in a research piece comparable to the breakthrough stories of the New York Times reveals “Shane Claiborne will be bringing his dreadlocks.”
Bringing them where we ask? We are not sure.
Is it possible that they are detachable and he can leave them at home?
Our research staff here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia went wild with outrage. Our robot monkey researcher crashed with self righteous indignation. The robot’s secondary function – that of throwing feces was malfunctioning the entire day due to Shane’s unbiblical hair-do.
So infuriated was our staff that our national discernmentalist director I. Todyaso weighed in on this grave crisis “never once did Jesus ever teach us to wear dreads – clearly this is an offence, its anti-biblical, its…its against absolute truth.” SoL further revealed more shocking evidence that Shane had “leftist political positions…and wore nature fibers.”
We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia will be at our right-wing Christian camp of righteous-truth for debriefing and further admiration of capitalism, pro-foreign policy apologetics, slavery appreciation day, fleecing tax-payers via bail-outs and corporate dominance indoctrination seminars, and blaming everything on immigrants and atheists….because this is true Christian faith.