Slice of Laodicea (SoL) Reveals Shane Claiborne Wears Dreadlocks!

April 8, 2009

SoL in a researimages5ch piece comparable to the breakthrough stories of the New York Times reveals “Shane Claiborne will be bringing his dreadlocks.”

Bringing them where we ask? We are not sure.

Is it possible that they are detachable and he can leave them at home?

Our research staff here at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia went wild with outrage. Our robot monkey researcher crashed with self righteous indignation. The robot’s secondary function – that of throwing feces was malfunctioning the entire day due to Shane’s unbiblical hair-do.

So infuriated was our staff that our national discernmentalist director I. Todyaso weighed in on this grave crisis “never once did Jesus ever teach us to wear dreads – clearly this is an offence, its anti-biblical, its…its against absolute truth.” SoL further revealed more shocking evidence that Shane had “leftist political positions…and wore nature fibers.”

We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia will be at our right-wing Christian camp of righteous-truth for debriefing and further admiration of capitalism, pro-foreign policy apologetics, slavery appreciation day, fleecing tax-payers via bail-outs and corporate dominance indoctrination seminars, and blaming everything on immigrants and atheists….because this is true Christian faith.

Slice of Laodicea and the Online Discernmentalist Mafia still OUTRAGED that Shane Claiborne Uses Natural Fibers!

April 8, 2009


A few days ago SoL produced earth shattering yet News worthy News that the so-called anti-establishment-St. Francis-of Assisi-wannabe-beatnik-Christian wears natural fibers!


We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia are so ANGERED we can ONLY ask…what would Jesus wear?

PS We are not sure of SoL’s earth shattering find….but we’re pretty good at reading minds…afterall we are in the Online Discernmentalist Ministries for a good reason! (-;

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