Take A Stand and Apprising Secedes from Union

April 21, 2009

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In the midst of the dramatic chaos of people refusing to listen to Apprising Ministries – they and only they seek to remain bible focused have decided to buy up land on the east coast of the US and secede. Apprising gave the following reasons (according to an unnamed spokesman) who chooses to remain nameless “Apprising cannot and will not tolerate Obama, he’s a Democrat and any bible believing Christian who listens to us, will refuse to tolerate this president.”

Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries (TSM) is also taking a stand by leaving as well…mostly because Rick Warren prayed for Obama. A shadowy TSM spokesman suggested “we are preparing to leave the United States to stand for Absolute Truth.”

Apprising decided to declare the plot of land purchased  “Apprisingland.

There have already been hints of further fractures when TSM  insisted the new country be named “Take-A-Stand-Land.” Some of the new citizens of this still unnamed land were inclined to think it was little too similar to some of the names of the old Soviet Bloc.

The Online Discernmentalist Mafia seeks to join Apprising Ministries by fleeing the world into the true arms of freedom in Apprisingland….or Take-A-Stand-Land…whatever side wins.


Discernmentalists show signs of addictive behavior: study

April 21, 2009

addictionNEW YORK (Reuters) – About Nine in 10 Online Discernmentalist Ministries show signs of addictive behavior that could have negative effects on their family, friends and Christian circles according to a new study.

Researchers at Iowa State University (ISU) and the National Institute on Discernment found that some discernmentalist show symptoms of sloppy research, miscommunication, misinformation, haughtiness and flagrant disregard for others. Researchers think some use “discernment” to escape their problems (or to conceal their own) and becoming restless or irritable when they stop discerning.

Dr D. Vador, the president of the National Institute on Discernment which strives to minimize the harm of discernmentalists suggests that this is a wake-up call for Christians.

“This study gives everyone a better idea of the scope of the problem,” he explained.


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