CDC confirms more discernmentalist contamination

May 2, 2009

conThe Centre for Discernmentalist Control (CDC)  said today it has confirmed 109 cases of discernmentalist flu in the United States, an increase of 45 from its previous report. The virus has been confirmed in 11 U.S. states and 3 Canadian provinces. Over the past week, CNN has been inundated with questions about the flu, technically known as 2009 H1N1 (H-heresy 1, Non-truth 1).

The discernmentalist flu has the following symptoms

1) Balance in world view

2) Objectivity

3) Humility

4) Careful Research

5) Enemy love

If any discernmentalist ministries detects these dangerous symptoms report them to the ODMAFIA at once for innoculation! Don’t give into this HORRENDOUS flu!!!

More yellow journalism says Slice of Laodicea

May 2, 2009

nationalSlice of Laodicea (SoL) always vigilant against left wing journalism and upholding right wing neo-conservative ideology and outrage (just like Jesus) was quoted as saying “Bud Kennedy, a leftist reporter for the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram, published a possibly actionable hit piece on Brannon Howse and Pastor Bob Pearle of Birchman Baptist Church in Ft. Worth after a recent Code Blue Rally.”

But was it a hit piece?

Even Pearle cautioned ‘ “I don’t know if we’ll host that again,” Pearle said last week, calling Howse more of a “sensational” style of evangelist  ‘

Our keen Research Robot Monkey’s could not find any “left-wing” journalism (and we of course hate commies, nannies, and fannies – anything ending in ‘ies’ ) except for a comment about senator McCarthy’s commie hunting endeavours…. Perhaps Slice of Laodicea has fond memories of the commie hunts and would like to reinvigorate them?

We at the Online Discernmentalist Mafia consider anyone who does not agree with our ministry a leftist, communist or worse a democrat. Indeed, pointing fingers, blowing things out of proportion is what expert discernmentalists do…..

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