Scientists unveil ancient fossilized truth warrior

gorilla_skeleton_1St. Ignace (Reuters) – Scientists on Tuesday unveiled the well preserved fossilized remains found in Northern Canada of a primate from 47 million years ago that may have been a close relative of the common ancestor of feces throwing monkeys that is a close relative of the modern Online Discernmentalist Ministers.

monkeys_fling_poo1

It is the most complete fossil primate ever found, only missing part of an accusatory finger that could shed light on how early discernmentalists and truth warriors judged others.

Mexican paleontologist Duan Juan DeMarcos, who led a team of scientists who analyzed the fossil in the past two years, said it may resemble one of the earliest ancestors of feces throwing monkeys and is likely to have been a direct ancestor.

“We are not dealing with our grand- grand- grand- grandmother but perhaps our grand- grand- grand- aunt who thru feces,” Duan Juan DeMarcos of the Fossils for El-Trutho Research Institute in Mexico told reporters at New York’s American Museum of Natural History.

The primate, which was two feet from the tip of its nose to the end of its tail, was a female that died before its first birthday. It was called Slicy in honor of Slice of Laodicea, who advanced the theory of judgmentalism.

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