Discernmentalist Ears

June 3, 2009


Discernmentalist Ears they’re hardly noticeable while wearing!


Yet another great invention for those who need to better enhances their discernmentalist skills. The New Discernmentalist Ears! Yes, now you can just put these on and “hear” all the heretical stuff you already believe is there!


Here are a few comments from users:

 Mark O D’Beast: My skills were greatly enhanced and now all I hear from Rob Bell is… “Blah, blah, I am a Universalist, Blah, Blah…” I am soooo excited!

Mary Fratgirl: I used to read Brian McLaren books yet now, when I read them out loud I hear what he is really saying!

Here are some celebrity endorsements:

 Ken Silva: “I don’t need it! I am judgmental enough!”

 Eric Barger: “Yes! Rick Warren is the new Antichrist Pope! It is as if my own voice echoed in my head!

 John Chisham: “It enhances the voices already in my head telling me things!”

Remember our motto is: “It’s not what you actually say that is important, only what we think we hear  is important and we  make up the rest!

Slice of Laodicea Reports Church Breakdown and Run-On Sentences….

June 3, 2009

confusionSlice of Laodicea (SoL) in their deep penetrating discernmentalist insights reportsThe breakdown of the local church is not just the result of prostitutional, seeker pastors who will do anything to draw a crowd, and it’s not just the result of denominational compromise and the resultant legalism of independent churches out of reaction.” The Online Discernmentalist Mafia was somewhat confused about this statement and therefore powered up our Robot Research Monkeys and have come up with nothing. In fact they crashed!

What is a ” prostitutional, seeker pastor?

….and the phrase “resultant legalism of independent churches out of reaction.” Is that even coherent or just a ramble jumble of words with some unreasonable attempt at sounding reasonable?

We will postpone this entry for another time, since I’m out of breath and very confused.

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