Gatekeeper of the Son!

gatekeeper2We the Online Discernmentalist Ministries position ourselves as the gatekeeper of Christianity!

We place him in a box…and tame theology. We are experts at discerning who is ORTHODOX and who is not. We tithe at 11%.

We KNOW better than other folks and we can decide who is in and who is out….what sins are acceptable (our sins) and those whose are not…theirs (never ours). We are also believe that we deserve more grace than others, and withhold it from our enemies.

We believe in a pro-conservative, pro-right-to-bear-arms, pro-capitalistic, pro-militaristic,  prop-president(except Democratic ones), pro-American Jesus – Hallelujah! Jesus in a box!

We think that moralizing best respresents the Christian faith – and we are proud to point out the immoral when the do not meet our standards. We think homosexuals should be bashed more, and liberals should be thrown in prison. We also need to blame more Muslims for our own home-brewed problems. We don’t think that taking responsibility for ourselves is wise….better to pin blame on others.

If you don’t believe in this type of Christianity….then obviously you are not part of the true flock and likely a communist, dirty hippie, or one of those natural fiber wearing types. Perhaps you are a liberal…it does not matter because you belong to the camp of the apostates. We also believe that you need to grow a backbone, become more glib, righteous and be more pro-active in putting others that disagree with Online Discernment Ministries in their place. If you can’t follow the program you just might be a sympathizer for the OTHER SIDE!

Yours truthfully,



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