The Six Million Dollar Discernmentalist

August 11, 2009

bionic

Steve Austin is a man barely alive. In a freak accident, amateur truth warrior Steve Austin crash landed (not surprisingly)  in the Nevada Desert next to a downed UFO. Steve’s body was recovered, and with  spare parts from the Sony Aibo, and Toyota’s Asimo he was reassembled with new working appendages. Unfortunately, due to copyright infringement all his electronic parts are forced to run on Windows 95 Service Pack 1. Even so Steve was recruited by the best and brightest in the Online Discernmentalist Ministries Religious Police Force. Despite Steve’s limitations he is still able to use his bionic body to  haughtily judge discern faster, quicker and higher than any other truth warrior before him. For instance, his bionic eye can detect heresy from 300 ft, view x-rays of Brian McLaren, using truth recognition detect Bill Hybel’s thought patterns. Using his bionic legs Steve can speed to an Emergent  gathering (to spy of course!!!!) or to intercept Rob Bell in a moments notice. Furthermore, using a carefully devised logical algorythm he can locate couches and candles in almost any neighbourhood and attribute them the the Emerging Church….who else would have these instruments of unrighteousness?

Stay tuned for more!

ODMafia is proud to announce that we have a truth warrior hero in our midst!


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