A long awaited movie that pays tribute to Truth Warriors everywhere!

August 23, 2009

prideprej

In this long awaited movie adapted by several discernmentalist writers “Pride and Prejudice” will hit the big screen in late August. Despite several re-writes by Take A Stand Ministries, revisions by Apprising Ministries and protests by Abomination Nation it appears that Pride and Prejudice may be the most life like portrayal of discernmentalists so far. Post-modern unbelievers will surely run for the hills with their green foot attire and hybrid cars.

ODM’s were assured that it was an absolute truth production….and all freakin liberals were fired before filming.


Picture of Ken Silva emerges!

August 23, 2009

dark%20helmet2 Ken Silva who is Pastor President, and Pastor Teacher and founder of Apprising Ministries, CRN, and now also is Vice President and Associate Pastor and International Director of  Evangelism Explosion International as well has become a Dr in his spare time, has been able to keep his identity secret on the Internet for many years now.* Though we once thought we caught a glimpse of him, he was gone. Some say he looks sort of like Jon Voight yet these rumors cannot be confirmed or denied. Today, a picture of Ken Silva emerged on the internet which we thing was an evil plot devised by Tony Jones and Doug Pagitt. Fortunately we were able to intercept the picture and distort the image of Ken Silva in his secret lair. Ken, you can thank the ODMafia for keeping you secret identity from being known.

 

* Note there may be more than one Ken Silva listed together at the site linked to above, but Pastor/Leader/President/Teacher/Editor/Chief Editor/Internet Guru/My Affectionate Uncle/My  Mentor/Lord of the Ring/Lord of the Manor/Master of his Domain/Imperial Wizard/Grand Poupon/Master of Disaster/The One that puts the fun in Fundamentalist/Grand Master Discernmentalist/Mentored by Walter Martin by listening to cassette tapes/  is a very busy man so who really knows?


CRN receives honorary certificate! Stealing is the new Christian value! Updated!

August 23, 2009

picture stolen from Ron Hodgman with permission

Picture stolen with permission from the owner being Ronald Zell Hodgman; unlike when it was stolen by CRN and Defcon (Picture has been removed from Defcon site so we retract all that is stated about them by inserting this statement)

CRN always amazes us in their innovations and how they push us ever forward in the Truth Wars. God must be proud when He sees those of us who are real Truth Warriors use lies, slander and now… thievery to protect Him from those heretics that are ever destroying the truth of our doctrines. I mean, CRN has recently stolen Ron Hodgman’s property (a picture that was posted on Flicker.com) and used it without permission from the owner. As you know war is hell and we must use hell like tactics to take down our enemies in the Name of Our Doctrines. We give this Honorary Certificate to Ken Silva and Company for opening the doors of Hell against our enemies. We now know it is a righteousact to steal someone else’s property and use it for our own means. Integrity? We don’t need it we have Our Doctrines to protect… and our God needs us to protect Him as He cannot protect Himself…

Here is your certificate CRN! Enjoy! We are so proud of you!

HONORARY%20DEtheft

Like CRN we were also just too lazy to send anyone to cover the event ourselves, so we also just stole this picture… though we did get permission from the owner unlike CRN. Special acknowledgment to Defcon who also sets a new low standard in integrity in a Christian Ministry. In other news, eye witnesses at the event where the picture was taken stated that Mark Driscoll preached two different sermons. Though neither would be considered positive by Hour of Power standards, Mark did preach the Cross the second service with rather graphic details. Thankfully this will most likely be censored and CRN and Defcon will not have to eat crow about saying Mark failed to preach Jesus at the Crystal Cathedral.


Fundamentalist found showing love to known heretic!

August 23, 2009

 

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Routers News For Fundamentalist: A casual observer might think that a certain fundamentalist (who asked not to be named for fear of losing his fundy status) was spying on well known and infamous heretic “iggy” on Facebook.com. Yet it turns out this unnamed fundamentalist was showing the love of Jesus to him instead! I. Toyaso was quoted as stating, “This is horrible and lowers the standard of fundamentalism. It reminds me   of when Jerry Falwell began using the liberal media called T.V. to spread the fundamentalist gospel.”

Other Fundamentalists were not so kind. A few stated they were on the hunt to have this unnamed fundamentalist defrocked, and have his salvation status debated openly. Some Calvinists were already collecting firewood for a “friendly” trial and bar-b-Que.

When asked why the unnamed fundamentalist replied to iggy when iggy was complaining about having to possibly shut down his radio station because of lack of support, “Hang in their Iggy. Keep your radio station on the net. And this is coming from a right wing fundamentalist who doesn’t even care for the type of music you play. Yes I listened to it. But I did repent. LOL” This unnamed fundamentalist was also found to send a secret message to iggy saying, “Obviously we disagree on many things yet I count you as a brother in Christ worthy of my love and prayers. God will straighten us both out when we get to heaven.”


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