(FIX Network The network where we fix the news we broadcast) We are still in heavy debate as to what to do. We were just about to reveal the most hated ODM and their site when a phone call came in with terrible news. Apparently there was an issue with someone tampering with Chad the official ballot counter. Though another independent ballot counter was brought in, debate as to whether the ballots would be counted correctly as Al Franken (a liberal) was found to have won according to the independent ballot counter co. Al Franken was not even on the ballot so this was a shock and we immediately demanded a recount!
It seems the main debate was with Chad who was fixing many improperly casted ballot cards by using his unique discernmentalist powers of knowing what the voter really meant. Chad’s talent is one that is used throughout the ODM world on a regular basis. The unique discernmentalist power is being able to take a clear statement someone says and twist it to mean whatever the ODM desires it to mean. By doing this the ODM can always be right by twisting the other person’s words to the obviously wrong meaning. Chad was doing fine until someone began spreading rumors that Chad was tampering with the ballots. We want all to know that was not the case and Chad is the victim of a vicious RCC/Emergent/PDL/Seeker Driven/Arminian/Charismatic/Democratic conspiracy to discredit ODM’s as dishonest. We do not argue we are not dishonest, rather we ODM’s see our dishonesty when used honestly to protect the Truth as honorable. So it is a debate over God’s Honor being discredited by those who hate God and OUR DOCTRINAL truth that protects God, Country, The Bible and the American Way of Life.
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So we contend that if you followed our logical argument that Chad is the true victim and call to fasting, prayer and that all True Believers in the ODM way send us more money, (we prefer cash as it is not as easy to be traced by the evil Government).
We hope that soon this mess will be figured out and that the winner of this prestigious award will be revealed soon. Stay tuned!
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