ODMafia reveals the most hated ODM site and most hated ODM!

October 27, 2009

satan

 

ODMafia reveals the most hated and most hated ODM!

 

 

CNN (Christian News Network) The ballots were cast in a super-sized secret chamber near the earths core where the official office of the ODMafia is heated by the earths core. The office itself is so near to Hell that one can hear the lovely screams as the officers of the ODMafia do their re-research and regurgitate others ODM’s information. Of all the ODM’s out there; only one is worthy of the top honor that will be handed out this Hallow’d ween. Yes many votes were cast by those on the academy panel and even rumors of fist fights and a gun being pulled out at one point. The rumors do have some truth to them but again this is the ODMafia we are writing about.

 

After the ballots were careful counted by a person who only called himself “Chad” we received a call early this morning and waited all day to hear verification of whom the most hated and hateful ODM is. There was a call soon after the first one that stated that there needed to be a recount as someone had been messing with “Chad” so another independent ballot counter that helped Al Franken win his election was brought in. After a few hours another call came in and the official count was finished. The winner is… oh I am sorry the phone just rang again… I will have to continue this later.


Tension…..and judging others

October 27, 2009

tightRope

Fellow discernmentalists the Bible has come under attack by John Armstrong of ACT3 he states ” There are some obvious tensions that we encounter when we read the Scriptures.” We KNOW that in our reading of the Bible….there are no tensions. It is simply black and white….bible truth vs false teaching. If you are looking for tension we suggest a high-wire circus act! Remember…tension is only found in wires suspending bridges, towers, electrical lines….and  tension headaches which you are giving us (we resent having to think)!

John Armstrong of ACT3 furthers his attacks by suggesting “The Scriptures do teach us to avoid judgmental attitudes toward others, especially in dealing with Christians.” We THINK this is a direct affront on our righteous and OUR very truth striving among other discermentalist ministries.

He further states “No matter how you apply these texts you will soon have to admit that judging and discerning sometimes do get very close to one another.” That is why we think that judgmentalism and discernment are one in the same….therefore discernment is judgmentalism, and judgmentalism is discernment. Its biblical. We need to do it…and its best done with an attitude of anger, resentment and self-martyrdom. We are always being attacked for our righteous cause.

The ODMafia, if we can’t judge you…who will?

Truthslayer


One of the greatest truth-war satires of all time…B*A*S*H

October 26, 2009

bash

B*A*S*H (Brag & Assist to Stomp-on Heretics) – was one of the finest truth war satire of all time. This truth war begins and ends in Korea where we observe the antics of valiant truthwarrior-doctors Trutheye and BJ (Bible-Journalist) Honeycut as they battle righteously against the emerging hordes spreading across Korea. These true reformed warriors split hairs, and cause division righteously declaring the truth wherever they are….even places where people wish they were not!

War is hell they say…especially when not appreciated!


Preaching gentleness closet liberalism

October 25, 2009

anger

Discernmentalists everywhere! Watchblogsquared has gone liberal. Our research robot monkeys (always on the prowl) discovered the following quotes…likely influenced by the Anglican Church…

“It is so seldom we find a real gentle spirit, one who is gentle all through, and gentle under all circumstance…It is amazing what lack of gentleness there is among the Lord’s own people. Among the reasons why so few Christians are thoroughly gentle in spirit may be the following:

So few really apprehend the worth of a gentle spirit; they seem to overlook it as a cardinal trait in religion. There are so many Christians who regard real gentleness as a weakness, a soft, sentimentalism, which in some way interferes with thorough righteousness, and boldness, and plain dealing, and a pushing zeal for God.” by George D Watson (we believe through our research ‘DD’ probably stands for double damnation.)

I could go on quoting, but this simply makes me ill. No doubt Watchblogsquared is a secret post-modernist and read’s Rob Bell’s books.

I believe Watchblogsquared quoted Watson to undermine true discernmentalism because without rudeness, obnoxiousness and self-righteous indignation we cannot stop the onslaught of the hordes of false teachers (ie that is mostly everyone.) We have to fight the world using the worlds tools (ie we get a green light to use them because we are truth warriors) for this is the only way to fight back!

We have exclusive rights to be haughty and have contempt for others…and it is completly discernmentalistically sanctioned! Besides, it takes a good back bone to fight the apostates. Also remember that a Fruit of the Spirit Exemption Card applies to all true discernmentalists. Take advantage while supplies last!


All new Smear Factor!

October 23, 2009

smearAll new! SMEAR FACTOR is the game that can be watched on TV and relived at home! This popular truth-warrior tv show now on DTV (Discernmentalist TV) and picked up on TWN (Truth-Warrior Network) and follows several popular truth warriors as they attempt to disparage others reputations, by engaging in rumour, mildly researched subjects, and hearsay to arrive at Discernmentalist Truth (which is apparently different from actual Truth). The religious gestapo will help decided who is the finalist and therefore the best and most elite in SMEAR FACTOR.

Winners receive genuine Walter Martin Cassette Tapes so that they can claim they have been mentored by him!

We at the ODMafia are looking forward to see your favourite Truth Warriors engage in their favourite subject on TV and hopefully in syndication.


One world religion thanks to Rick Warren

October 22, 2009

spot

Olive Tree Ministries with Jan Markell have suggested that  Rick Warren is leading us towards a one world religion. It is hard to take Olive Tree Ministries seriously especially since they were formerly known as BANANA TREE MINISTRIES a decade ago. But still we Discernmentalists stick together…sort of.

As for the OPEN LETTER TO RICK WARREN (we were hoping it would remain a closed letter), our research robot monkeys have disclosed the following….

Rick Warren according to the Washington Times envisions a “coalition of faith.” This sounds awfully suspicious…as if he is calling Christians to get along with other people. We just hope that Rick is not suggesting that we also work along side pagans in the workplace or I’m moving to another planet!

Here are his three EVIL Rick Warren suggestions…

create a coalition to end religious stereotyping, work together to restore civility to American society and take a common stand against attacks on freedom of religion and freedom of speech.”

This is indeed a reflection of the coming of the one world religion…and I’ll tell you why!

1) Biblical Christians should stereotype and label others we disagree with (its easier to target them!)

2) Biblical Christians should only believe in civility if by civility we are treated decently but not others (because loving your enemies sounds an awful lot like liberalism). Besides civility could lead to a one world religion.

3) Biblical Christians should only believe in freedom of speech if it is OUR speech being protected and no one elses. We are the only ones who have something important to say…such as invading Iraq, hating gays, being fearful of Islam, or worrying over an impending invasion from Iran or Venezuela.

This is certainly the mark of the beast, or at least a splotch of a spotted swine varmint (I’m leaning towards the latter).

We urge everyone to write your senator, congressman or elected official to stop Rick Warren from this one world religion. Act now and also get a set of free steak-knives with every protest. Remember, be wary of the mark of the spotted swine varmint (see pic above!) whose name is Rick Warren.

Truthslayer affirmed, Truthslayer endorsed!


How To Tell If You Are A Feminist

October 20, 2009

mostholy

Most Holy is speaking and he wants you to know of the evils of feminism:

Fifteen Impossible Things to Believe Before Breakfast That Make You a Good Feminist

1. A mother who works a full-time job and delegates to strangers the raising of her children eight hours a day, five days a week does just as good a job as a mother who hand-rears her children full time.

 

2. It makes great sense for the government to pay 10 to 15,000 dollars a year to fund a daycare space for a child so its mother – who pays perhaps 2,000 dollars in taxes – can be a contributing member of society.

3. A woman’s doctor has more of a valid claim to participate in the decision to abort a fetus than does the father of that fetus.

4. So long as a woman makes a decision after consulting with her doctor, she is incapable of making an unethical choice.

5. A car with two steering wheels, two gas pedals and two brakes drives more efficiently than a car with one steering wheel, one gas pedal and one brake which is why marriage should always be an equal partnership.

6. It is absolutely necessary for women to be allowed to join or participate fully in any gathering place for men, just as it is absolutely necessary that there be women only environments from which men are excluded.

7. Because it involves taking jobs away from men and giving them to women, affirmative action makes for a fairer and more just society.

8. It is important to have lower physical standards for women firepersons and women policepersons so that, one day, half of all firepersons and policepersons will be women, thus more effectively protecting the safety of the public.

9. Affirmative action at colleges and universities needs to be maintained now that more women than men are being enrolled, in order to keep from giving men an unfair advantage academically.

10. Having ensured that there is no environment for men where women don’t belong (see no.6) it is important to have zero tolerance of any expression or action which any woman might regard as sexist to ensure greater freedom for everyone.

11. Only in a society which maintains a level of 95% of alimony and child support being paid by men to women can men and women be considered as equals.

12. An airline stewardess who earned $20,000 a year at the time that she married a baseball player earning $6 million a year is entitled, in the event of a divorce, to $3 million for each year of the marriage and probably more.

13. A man’s opinions on how to rear and/or raise a child are invalid because he is not the child’s mother. However, his financial obligation is greater because no woman gets pregnant by herself.

14. Disagreeing with any of these statements makes you anti-woman and/or a misogynist.

15. Legislature Seats must be allocated to women and women must be allowed to bypass the democratic winnowing process in order to guarantee female representation and, thereby, make democracy fairer.

 

You heard it here from Most Holy himself—feminism is evil and should be rejected.

Don Jobson—Dave Sim is not a misogynist and we’re hoping to put him on the ballot for God’s Only Inerrant Party.


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