Jesus and Wine.

Jesus and Wine.

 

Many people misunderstand what Jesus was actually teaching when he used wine as an example and when turned water into wine.

First let’s look as the first time Jesus talk’s about wine.

Matthew 914Then(S) the disciples of John came to him, saying,(T) “Why do we and(U) the Pharisees fast,[c] but your disciples do not fast?” 15And Jesus said to them, (V) “Can the wedding guests mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them?(W) The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and(X) then they will fast. 16No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch tears away from the garment, and a worse tear is made. 17Neither is new wine put into old(Y) wineskins. If it is, the skins burst and the wine is spilled and the skins are destroyed. But new wine is put into fresh wineskins, and so both are preserved.” (The Holy and anointed unbiased ESV)

 Now many miss this teaching. Note the question? “”Why do we and(U) the Pharisees fast,[c] but your disciples do not fast?” Then Jesus states that because he is there, His disciples do not need to fast, but there will be a day when Jesus is gone that His disciples will fast and the Pharisees and disciples of John will not. Jesus then talks about wine and wineskins. This is where so many miss the point. Often New Age Emergerants will try to say that this is “spiritual”. We know that nothing in our faith is “spiritual” as that would lead to “living by the Spirit” and we will have nothing to do with that! Now, the Ermergerants will say that the old traditions are gone and the new traditions are better. So they twist this verse to mean, ”If you put new wine in old wine skins it will burst the skins and spill the wine.” Oh yeah! They would love spilling wine in their emerging church orgies! Yep, I can hear them now, “a little wine for you and a little for me, and next week we break out the Hookah’s and some weed for service!” Now that is blasphemy and not what Jesus was teaching at all.

 Here is what Jesus meant. We are not to drink wine meant we are not to eat too much otherwise we will burst from too much food. Those stupid Emergerants will twist the bible to mean whatever they want it to mean and not what we want it to mean! Jesus was just warning his disciples not to eat too much. It is that simple.

 Now the other misunderstood passage is this one.

 John 2 1On(A) the third day there was a wedding at(B) Cana in Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2Jesus also was invited to the wedding with(C) his disciples. 3When the wine ran out, the mother of Jesus said to him, “They have no wine.” 4And Jesus said to her, (D) “Woman,(E) what does this have to do with me?(F) My hour has not yet come.” 5His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

 6Now there were six stone water jars there(G) for the Jewish rites of purification, each holding twenty or thirty(H) gallons.[a] 7Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. 8And he said to them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the feast.” So they took it. 9When the master of the feast tasted(I) the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom 10and said to him, “Everyone serves the good wine first, and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.” 11This, the first of his signs, Jesus did at Cana in Galilee, and manifested(J) his glory. And(K) his disciples believed in him. (God’s truly anointed and Chris Pajak approved version the ESV)

This is often used by Emergerants to prove that they can get drunk in their orgy services. Yet again I will tell you what it really means. First off, we see that Mary is able to make Jesus do what she wanted even though Jesus did not want to do it. So here we see principle 1.

 Principle 1. A good ODM knows how to manipulate God to do what the ODM wants.

 The next principle is that Jesus did this miracle to secretly take now who was a sinner and who was not. Jesus simply watched to see who drank the wine and who did not and thus knew which disciple he would have trouble with. Didn’t you ever wonder how Jesus knew Judas would betray Him? Well now you know!

 Principle 2. A good ODM tests others like Jesus did to see who is truly saved and who is not!

 The third and last principle is this. Jesus did this miracle to show the sinners so He could show how holy He was! It never states Jesus drank any of this wine… in fact later we read that Jesus was offered wine on the cross and He refused. This proves that booze is bad! So we know this was a test and was to show Jesus was way holier than anyone else!

 Principle 3. Like Jesus, ODM’s are way too holy to drink booze and will not fail the test as simple as this. The ODM is as holy as Jesus so there is no way we will drink, but as stated, when we see someone who does we simply raise the finger of judgment and condemnation and shout, “SINNER! REPENT!”

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6 Responses to Jesus and Wine.

  1. truthslayer says:

    I think wine is SO ungodly that I do not even drink water…since water is the gateway to wine…
    1) Both are liquids
    2) Water is used to make wine
    3) Both sparkle (in the sun) therefore entices the eyes

    I really wish biblical Christians would realize this. When you start with water…and in no time you are a raving drunk on wine.

    Like

  2. itodyaso says:

    That is why I drink only vinegar, unsweetened lemonade, and pickle juice. I am never enticed to drink anything else. It helps me keep my disposition.

    Like

  3. Coolio says:

    I am sorry to report that discernmentalists drink booze. OH they certainly do. I, Coolio, can tell you that I have seen first hand evidence that one especially really does drink from the fruit of the grape even in October of this year at a place called Flemings and i have a zoom lens photo to prove it. I am wondering if I should point your readers to this kind of online material cuz the outrage may be too much for them. The discernmentalist also has a lawyer. Any advice truthslayer and itodayaso?

    Like

  4. itodyaso says:

    Yes… as hard as it might be, stop stalking her.

    Like

  5. hookah says:

    Wait…I completely missed the point here lol

    Like

  6. truthslayer says:

    Discernmentalist don’t make points. We only speak the truth in the most direct way.

    Like

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