Eric Barger needs YOU!

December 31, 2009

 

 

Eric Barger needs YOU! Yes, Eric Barger needs you to support him in his fight against enemy blogs that mock him and his theology. We quote from Eric Barger’s recent Most Holy Inspired News Letter:

Though the heretical bloggers may mock our mission and resort to mere name calling, I am certain many will agree with me that we must aggressively address the many issues effecting our culture today, not the least of which is the mounting theological and doctrinal confusion among professing Evangelicals. Though astounding numbers are now rejecting the historic and biblical faith for the false gospels of “Emergent,” “Feel Good,” and “Seeker-Sensitive” we’ll continue to boldly remind anyone and everyone of the changeless truth that there is but one way, one Lord and one holy Word of God!

Now how does Eric Barger suggest you can ‘help” him? We quote again:

… Another terrific way to support the ministry is to order some of our DVDs, CDs and Books. These valuable tools can be shared again and again and will continue to serve the Kingdom of God for many years to come.

Yes… by buying his “DVDs, CDs and Books” you can help Eric in his “ministry”. We pray this un-named and un-cited mockers of Eric Barger will be exposed and we here remain true to the SAME theology of Eric Barger and SAME love of truth Eric Barger has. In fact we here at the ODMafia fully ENDORSE and BACK and fall short of WORSHIPPING Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries. If you want to be safe from anyone that disagrees with Eric Barger and the ODMafia… be sure to just read our blog and buy Eric’s “DVDs, CDs and Books.”

 

P.S. Just a note to those “mockers”. We here at the ODMafia agree that you are heretics. Not because we know you or have actually talked to you, but because 1. We said so. 2. You try  to hold Eric Barger and others to a moral and biblical standard of Truth. 3. You hold us discernmentalist “ministries” (We call ourselves that because we sell books and DVD’s and CDs) accountable. How dare you! I mean that IS OUR JOB! So get off Eric Barger’s back! I mean he does not even know the difference between “emerging” and “Emergent” so we are sure he is orthodox!


Dear Dr. Truthslayer

December 30, 2009

Dear Dr. Truthslayer,

I listened to a sermon by John MacArthur called The Ambassadors’ Ministry of Reconciliation. Its not bad, but his explanation of the gospel is somewhat modern in take, but yet still  helpful.  I can’t help but think he sounds pained when he preaches though. Furthermore, how can he preach a sermon on the Ministry of Reconciliation but yet not recant his support for the Iraq War which is clearly non-reconciliatory….indeed, what about his attacks on John Armstrong? Or Brian McLaren? Should he not lead by example?

R.Econcile, Chicago

_____________________________________________________________________

Thanks for you lack of insight. MacArthur should never be criticized.

John MacArthur does not need to reconcile with apostates like John Armstrong. If Armstrong does not share the same epistemology as MacArthur he is clearly wrong….and in no need of reconciliation. Moreover, Brian McLaren is an apostate – we know so because he has been taken to task in MacArthur’s book Truth Wars. We do not question MacArthur….his book is the Gospel 2.0.

Finally, all good Americans (in fact all good Westerners) need to be FOR the Iraq War. Clearly Iraq was a threat to the USA with their huge war budget surpassing that of Canada (which is a communist country by the way!!!) We must understand that in times of war we set aside the ministry of reconciliation to fully support (uncritically) our country in a time of great need and CRUSH the enemy.

Affectionately yours

Dr Truthslayer


CS Lewis attacking discernmentalists from the grave!

December 29, 2009

It has long been known that CS Lewis, has been soft on truth…probably because he came  out of the Church of England. Few know that he is secretly smuggled into his books anti-discernmentalist rhetoric….here is a quote to prove it:

“SCREWTAPE ON CHURCHGOING – Surely you know that if a man can’t be cured of churchgoing, the next best thing is to send him all over the neighborhood looking for the church that “suits” him until he becomes a taster or connoisseur of churches. The reasons are obvious. In the first place the parochial organization [neighborhood church] should always be attacked, because, being a unity of place and not of likings, it brings people of different classes and psychology together in the kind of unity the Enemy desires. The congregational principle, on the other hand, makes each church into a kind of club, and finally, if all goes well, into a coterie or faction. In the second place, the search for a “suitable” church makes the man a critic where the Enemy wants him to be a pupil.” —C. S. Lewis. (1898-1963) THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS. New York: Time Incorporated, 1961, p. 52. (I R&D’d from WQOTW)

Note that he sneers….at every man being a “connoisseur of churches” and a critiquer of churches. It would seem that CS Lewis implies that we should seek unity even within a diverse church! He appears to be saying that we should tough it out instead of running! How then do we feed on the true doctrines of the true church (by that I mean a John MacArthur approved one!!!!)

I don’t know about anyone else….but he does not seem to care too much about truth and for that I am clearly disgusted.

Clearly he is attacking us from the grave!

Clearly we should BURN his books before he encourages further damage. Who knows what else he will write against us? We need to stop him now!

Clearly “unity” is a liberal code word for “get along and love one another.”

I, Dr. Truthslayer  advise all our readers to BURN any CS Lewis books you may have at once!


If it wasn’t for ODMafa Research and Design where would we be?

December 23, 2009

ODMafia continues to excel with regards to all things technological….and the truth – of course! We can expect no less than 101% absolute bible certainty when it comes to truth. Despite the fact that many Online Discernmentalist Ministries (ODMs) have developed a myriad of discernment tools, we often provide the seed money, and technological expertise for such things as Discerning the World’s STRETCH TECHNOLOGY, and ERIC BARGER’S TAKE A STAND’S BIBLE BASED SATELLITE SYSTEM (BS). Even our household inventions (see above) protect our valiant readers from untruth, anti-truth and the like.

If it wasn’t for ODMafa R & D where would we be?

Dr. Truthslayer


MacArthur demonstrates how big God’s grace is….according to Grace to You!

December 22, 2009

John MacArthur and Grace to You Ministries using absolute biblical certainty demonstrates how wide and how far God’s grace and mercy extends for Emergents, Liberals, Moderates, Post-Moderns and the Ungodly.

We at the ODMafia concur. There are far too many apostates to extend kindness towards…. who knows where that could lead (probably communism, or Red Letter Christianity)!!!

Dr. Truthslayer


New From GOIP Products

December 21, 2009

ROBOMacArthur:

His Prime Directives are:

  • Absolute Truth detecting
  • Heresy Hunting
  • Discernmentalizing
  • Emergent bashing
  • Candle snuffing
  • Arminianism trashing
  • Anti-Catholic bigotry
  • And much much more….

Available now for the outstanding retail price of $49, 999. Act now and get this lovely bust of Charles Spurgeon absolutely free:

Just pay $165 in shipping and handling costs!


May you have a Merry Pagan Christmas without the pagan and mass! (Revisited)

December 20, 2009

Yes, it is Christmas, and if you are a REAL Christian you have spent this season boycotting and blacklisting all those who say, “Happy Holiday” as we do not believe that Christmas is a “Holy Day”… I mean dagnammit it is CHRISTMAS! Now we also want to remind you that Christmas is also a pagan holiday! Yes, those pagans who worship trees and wear elf suits gave us this blessed Christmas Holiday so we could get mad at Roman Catholics as they go to Christ Mass.

I mean the ONLY Mass we approve is the Mass of American Troops overseas defending our right to oil! I mean that is what Christmas is all about when you really think about it. We here want to let you know that you can do what the ODMafia approves and redeem this Christmas from paganistic Roman Catholic Santa worshipers… You must go straight to our donation and gift links and give to us what is truly right in this world… and that is your money.

Truly Capitalism is the only True way to save this Holy Nation. Capitalism is the only God and ODMafia approved economic system, and for you to truly be saved, you must participate. Now, go and buy something! (From our store!) And have a very Merry Christmas without it being paganistic, Roman Catholic or a holiday… oh and go kill a tree!


Spaceship will lead to escape says Annoying Ministries

December 17, 2009

Annoying Ministries (formerly known as Apprising Ministries) is building a space ship in hopes of leaving emergents and other sinners on planet earth. The ship is built using reinforced backbones of battle hardened truth warriors!!! The goal is to have the spaceship known as SIN-FREE ONE ready by late 2010, or early 2011. They will definitely leave before 2012 just in case the ancient Mayans get it right and the world is destroyed because their calander ends. Hint…just buy a new calendar for 2013…but that’s just my take!

Indeed we are pleased that Annoying Ministries is so serious that they will take a stand and leave the planet to show how angry they are. Good for them!

We look forward to the big send off!

Dr. Truthslayer (chief engineer of Sin-Free-One)


Jerks for Jesus

December 16, 2009

The well known ministry JERKS FOR JESUS, a clearing-house for discernmentalist super ideas, insight by osmosis, and presumption celebrates a new look! Jerks for Jesus spokesman, A.R.Rogant notes “We all know that when you are in a truth war, haughtiness, self-righteousness and hate are perfect default positions when we are under attack! We cannot have people deeply abiding in the spirit with prayerful contemplation, lectio divina. or loving one another. What will become of Christians who spend TOO much time going over the same verses? We have to treat our enemies like crap so that they can see the truth.”

He further comments “We make no apologies for supporting US foreign policy, torture, invasions and assassinations. It’ the Christian way! We’re not like Islam or their terrorists.We’re civilized. In fact we think that we must come down harder – in the name of our PURE DOCTRINES. Moreover, we need this clearinghouse of ideas to decide who is apostate (ie Rob Bell), who will go to hell (ie certainly Rick Warren), and who needs a good lashing (and we mean this figuratively and literally ) Torture is good in the right hands! Who else is going to do this with the same integrity? We need more enemies to prove our self-righteousness!!!”

Without Jerks for Jesus, there would be no way for us discernmentalists to share our expert opinions and spinning quotes out of context. We have a whole team of experts who scour the net for disquieting quotes and insure at every possible angle that they are read in the worst light possible. That is what true ministry is all about, spot the sheep, turn him into a wolf and then “discernmentalize him.” It takes just a few good articles to do this sort of thing. We are very thankful that we are so blessed with this undertaking.

Finally remember these immortal words  “Blessed not are those who mourn, for they shall not be comforted. Comfort and feeling good about ourselves is from the devil, sissies, weak pansies and liberals.Blessed are the proud and arrogant, for they shall conquer and triumph over all of the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for legalism, for they shall satisfy God’s wrath.”

At ODMafia, let us do the thinking for you! Remember,they know WE are true Christians by our PURE doctrines!

Truthslayer


Reformation Crunch Cereal

December 15, 2009

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Far too often Reformer’s children have had to the same breakfast slop as new agers, pagans, and mainline Christians. Now ODMafia research and design has tested and produced an all new exclusive 100% discernmentalist cereal….first it was Calvin Crunch now we have Reformation Crunch! It features the Five Sola’s in every bite protecting you from  Emergents, Roman Catholics and people who meditate on the bible (which Luther would never do!)

Each bit of cereal in every box in numbered, organized and categorized for structured and careful eating habits.

Order your exclusive cereal today and get a Peasants Revolt Mini-Comix prize in each box!

Quakerless Cereal is every discernmentalists cereal….you owe it to yourself to embrace the pure doctrines of Reformation Crunch.

Dr. Truthslayer approved!


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