Are you afraid that liberals, emergents, moderate conservatives (ie secret covert liberals), are taking over the church that seeks to undermine the absolute truth?
Are you afraid that new ideas my infiltrate your mind and steer your away from Christo-fascism, consumerism or make you eager to be a minister of reconciliation, a peace-monger or care for the poor?
Are you afraid that you may consider practicing the Roman Catholic like Lectio Divina?
Are you afraid of THE SHACK?
Are you afraid to contemplate Bible Verses because that is TOO close to contemplative spirituality?
We offer the TIN FOIL hat for protection. It is a limited time offer and you can get it now for $19.99. Order now and get a free set of steak knives normally priced at $199.99 but yours free with this offer.
[…] At the blog, The Online Discernmentalist Mafia, a new gadget offers protection from Liberal, Emergent, Catholic-related, Shack-inspired influences that might creep into your mind undetected. […]
Thank-goodness that we were here to prevent you from some liberal-emergent-NT Wright practice of bible meditation! Remember, read scripture, but never deeply think on it….you are liable to act on such things and who knows where that could lead!!!
[…] by liberals who are taking over the world using hypnotherapy broadcast through the scented candles. Tinfoil hats will be distributed to true believers by next […]
[…] it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our […]
[…] heresies. Thankfully we Discernmentalists can find a conspiracy to suit our every need. We love our tin-foil hats and we love to keep them on extra […]
Before you get all bent out of shape, please realize this is a satire site spoofing the so-called "discernment ministries" who deem themselves more worthy of Grace than the rest of us. So read and have fun! BTW, we are not against "good" discernment ministries that do actual real research and extend grace to others, only the bad ones.
DJ
donjobson
itodyaso
seymorespurgeon
truthslayer
Will Farel XV
itodyaso.wordpress.com 
[…] At the blog, The Online Discernmentalist Mafia, a new gadget offers protection from Liberal, Emergent, Catholic-related, Shack-inspired influences that might creep into your mind undetected. […]
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Thanks for the warning. I found myself meditating on a passage of scripture and was told that I had lost my salvation.
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Thank-goodness that we were here to prevent you from some liberal-emergent-NT Wright practice of bible meditation! Remember, read scripture, but never deeply think on it….you are liable to act on such things and who knows where that could lead!!!
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[…] by liberals who are taking over the world using hypnotherapy broadcast through the scented candles. Tinfoil hats will be distributed to true believers by next […]
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I have a problem with your use of the term, “tinfoil hat”.
Everyone knows that only a steel V2K cap will block mind control energy weapons.
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[…] it’s glory. Forget the Purpose-Driven heretical drivel of Rick Warren—we support the Conspiracy-Driven Church. Remember Truth is under attack by our enemies—-some of whom have even crept up into our […]
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[…] heresies. Thankfully we Discernmentalists can find a conspiracy to suit our every need. We love our tin-foil hats and we love to keep them on extra […]
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