Discernmentalists deny torture allegations!

December 7, 2009

In a surprising turn of events the ODMafia Research Robot Monkeys have revealed that a consortium of discernmentalists deny any torture allegations. Take a Stand Ministries was rumoured to have said (via our research robot monkeys) “I don’t care what anyone says about our absolute truth articles….they are NOT torture…we are simply giving you the simple bible truth” Discerning the World (DTW), a champion of discernmenalism claimed thru a third party of a friend of a friend noted ” We deny any and all torture allegations. We speak only the bible truth, and those that denounce us are obviously apostate. We find our articles delightful to read…and edifying”

Apprising Ministries in conjunction with the ever so friendly Slice of Laodiocea was secretly taped in an interview rumoured to have taken place by our Robot Monkeys furthered the conversation by suggesting “…our articles may seem like torture to those who really don’t speak the absolute and uncompromised truth because we are the special ops of the discernmentalist world”

A non-discernmentalist surprised us by commenting on discernmentalist ministries ” some of this stuff is offensive, sophomoric and an insult to my intellect!.” We are appalled by this statement and hope to interrogate this person and make him repent of his malicious complaint, and assault on truth. We cannot stand these attacks!

Our research robot monkeys noted that many readers preferred bamboo chutes up the fingernails, chinese water torture, and waterboarding in preference to reading the following truth ministries: Herescope, Eric’s Take A Stand Ministries, Apprising Ministries, Slice of Laodicea (which denies all allegations including being a discernment ministry), Lighthouse Trails, Abomination Nation, Brannon Howse, Olive Tree Ministries and finally the defender of the southern hemisphere Discerning The World.

I think its time that all discernmentalists ban together and fight these allegations before we turn our weapons of words on each other again (we’ll leave our squabbling until tomorrow, if we can agree on the definition, unless someone is already suggesting that squabbling is a biblical function of discernmentalism).

Dr. Truthslayer


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,939 other followers

%d bloggers like this: