Take a Stand Ministries chastises wrong person!

December 9, 2009

Fellow discernmentalists, we have come under attack by one of our own! Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries cited iTodyaso as the culprit in a current war of words. Common to discernmentalist tactics he accused the wrong person.

I, yours truly Dr. Truthslayer (was the writer) and I simply provided the 100% Guarantee of Absolute Truth (and no compromise) to all our faithful readers! I shouldn’t have to mention to our readers that I never compromise….ever. I have lost many friends, cut family off, and caused uproars in almost all parts of my life but I never compromise.

I insist that everyone greet each other with a brotherly kiss, insist that everyone own a slave (because its in the bible) and that everyone should carry their own cross (ie not a figurative one, but a large, rugged wooden one).

We come to expect that discernmentalists would site, and accuse the wrong people. We pride ourselves for our inaccuracies and bless them as ministry. If we don’t invent enemies we’d be out of a job and likely have to work for the Pentagon (they also like to invent enemies).

Remember, when it comes to absolute truth and certainty, come to the ODMafia!

Truthslayer endorsed!


How to read incomprehensively.

December 9, 2009

 

Original idea taken from FreakingNews.com

How to read incomprehensively. When you read someone you are “discernmentalizing” follow these easy to use methods to make what that person said mean what YOU want them to say. This way the ODM you truly want to be will make anyone sound like a heretic.

For instance our great friend Eric Barger quotes Brian McLaren:

“For the first time, through the EASTERN JESUS, I began to have a glimpse of how Jesus could indeed be the Savior of not just a few individual humans but of the whole world.” – Brian McLaren, A Generous Orthodoxy, p.65

Note most people would read this and notice some clues that Brian is not negating individual salvation, but with a simple slight of hand the ODM that is as gifted as Eric Barger is can easily make this mean the opposite of what is really stated.

First what is Brian “really” saying… (This is top secret so please do no let anyone know that we can really read with comprehension) Brian uses word we ODM’s hate or rather love to overlook. Brian states “Jesus could indeed be the Savior of not just a few individual humans but of the whole world.” Well, if you just take out the word “just” you have the instant heretical statement. This is how you would read it through the ODM lens:

“For the first time, through the EASTERN (Hindu hookah smoking hippie) JESUS, I began to have a glimpse of how Jesus could indeed be the Savior of not just a few individual humans (or rather that God did not save humans) but of the whole world.” – Brian McLaren, A Generous Orthodoxy, p.65

As you can see with the ODM lens we now see what Brian is really saying. Let’s continue and you will see how this simple statement of how God not only saved humans but is also redeeming all creation morphs with this lens.

“For the first time, through following my own Marcus Borg inspired Jesus, I began to have a delusions of how Jesus could not be the Savior of individual humans but instead saved the whole world.”

Once again the layers keep coming off. Let’s try one more time.

“Follow Satan, Jesus did not die for you. Buy my books. I am delusional. Buy my books. Gee, N.T. Wright is smart. Don’t listen to Eric Barger.” — Brian McLaren, A Generous Orthodoxy, p.65

I hope now you can understand why it is so important you let the ODM’s read and filter all this stuff for you. We alone hold the keys to the kingdom of OUR DOCTRINE. So follow us and we will NEVER let you find the Jesus of Brian McLaren who is claimed to love the creation and want to liberate it from the curse of the fall.


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