December 17, 2009
Annoying Ministries (formerly known as Apprising Ministries) is building a space ship in hopes of leaving emergents and other sinners on planet earth. The ship is built using reinforced backbones of battle hardened truth warriors!!! The goal is to have the spaceship known as SIN-FREE ONE ready by late 2010, or early 2011. They will definitely leave before 2012 just in case the ancient Mayans get it right and the world is destroyed because their calander ends. Hint…just buy a new calendar for 2013…but that’s just my take!
Indeed we are pleased that Annoying Ministries is so serious that they will take a stand and leave the planet to show how angry they are. Good for them!
We look forward to the big send off!
Dr. Truthslayer (chief engineer of Sin-Free-One)
December 15, 2009
Far too often Reformer’s children have had to the same breakfast slop as new agers, pagans, and mainline Christians. Now ODMafia research and design has tested and produced an all new exclusive 100% discernmentalist cereal….first it was Calvin Crunch now we have Reformation Crunch! It features the Five Sola’s in every bite protecting you from Emergents, Roman Catholics and people who meditate on the bible (which Luther would never do!)
Each bit of cereal in every box in numbered, organized and categorized for structured and careful eating habits.
Order your exclusive cereal today and get a Peasants Revolt Mini-Comix prize in each box!
Quakerless Cereal is every discernmentalists cereal….you owe it to yourself to embrace the pure doctrines of Reformation Crunch.
Dr. Truthslayer approved!
December 13, 2009
Slice Laodicea (SoL), a clearinghouse for bad news about Christendom has turned its barbed accusations against itself. Like SoL, our research robot monkeys had been scouring the internet daily. Only this time we stumbled upon this outrageous (but obviously true) connection (any connection we make no matter how far fetched is TRUE.) We make all sorts of claims, and links but because we never second guess ourselves….or make mistakes (ever), we can only conclude with 100% certainty that SoL is poisonous.
We come to this conclusion only because we are true discernmentalists. We don’t compromise…and because we are biblical. So please get over it!
Affectionately yours, and doing your thinking for you!
December 11, 2009
Take A Stand Ministries (TSM) outlines (note our over-emphasis on citations!) the dangers of marketing techniques suggesting “In our day, however, many have decided to market themselves in such a way as to engage in a sort of popularity contest. Doesn’t it make sense that, if one is attempting to use marketing techniques like we’re seeing now, sermons pertaining to righteousness and surrender – let alone sin and hell – wouldn’t be considered? These themes are relics from a bygone era and are considered counterproductive to the prevailing wisdom churned out by today’s gurus of church growth.” We however know that the following titles are NOT sensationalist marketing tools:
THE END-TIME OCCULT INVASION
BIBLE PROPHECY AND THE OCCULT
THE MOST DANGEROUS CULT
THE DEATH OF DISCERNMENT
You see it is NOT marketing (or church growth) when we discernmentalists advertise our books and dvds, it is sinister marketing IF Rick Warren and Rob Bell do the same thing. You see the difference?
When WE do it….it is okay.
When BAD (you know who) people/ministries do it….it is NOT okay.
Church growth techniques bad, but TSM sales growth of books and DVDs good!
This is called discernmentalist rationalization, a special technique of discernmentalization.
Remember, this is clearly not sinister marketing based on fear or sensationalism….but biblical techniques of discernmentalization.
I’m in the KNOW!
* Bolding or highlighting was used merely for emphasis but did not appear in TSM’s original article