Satan admits: “Pat Robertson is right!”

January 15, 2010

We here at the ODMafia have  uncovered a secret coded message that was printed in the Minneapolis Star Tribune where Satan admits Pat Robertson was right! We quote:

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action. But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished. Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”? If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style.

Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll.

You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best,

Satan


Startling evidence Bush and Cheney did not lie!!!!

January 15, 2010

We have received inside news from our research robot monkeys that Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld did not lie about WMD! That’s right folks. We know this to be factually true…even if for the most part facts are irrelevant!!!

How do we know this?

The LEFTIES claimed Bush and his posse were lying so the reverse MUST be true.

You see the logic?

If LEFTIES say “WHITE” we know that the true-bible-believing-anti-postmodern-Republican knows it must be “BLACK.”

That is why millions of readers come to the ODMafia for first rate discernmentalism. That is why we support God’s Only Inerrant Party (GOIP). Besides….we do the thinking so you don’t have to.

Truthslayer!!!!

PS Remember make war, not love!


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