Followers declare John McArthur infallible!

 

Followers declare John McArthur infallible!

John MacArthur pointing out he is #1

(Lighthouse Fails news source) In a recent poll at Grace to You in which those that follow that ministry daily and even attend Grace Community Church where asked if they believed John MacArthur to ever be wrong. As they tabulated the votes, it was pointed out that 100% of those that were “true believers” and Elect stated that John MacArthur was never wrong! The rest of the votes were tossed out for suspect of being tainted by Emergent Village spies. John MacArthur celebrated by buying a new suit and handing out signed copies of his book, The Truth War and smiling in a recent Larry King interview and debate. Spurgeon, Luther, and Calvin were not available for comment. Yet we were able to contact I. Todyaso who heads the ever popular and extremely self righteous blog “The Online Discernmentalist Mafia” who stated, “Who would have thought otherwise?” and mentioned that the rumors of John MacArthur’s love for basketball has not set a lower standard for other ODMs.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 24th, 2010 at 6:58 pm and is filed under absolute truth, american gospel, Aperising Minsitries, Apprising Ministries, bananas for Jesus, but it is really all about me!, Calvinazis, Christian Research Network, Christo-Fascism, circular argument, colon blow, Complain/Rant, CRN, Discernment, do the hustle, Education, Essential/non-essential, False vs. True Converts, Fashion, healthy breakfast, High tech stuff, I am in fact an idiot!, ignorance is bliss, John Calvin, John Macarthur, Judgement Day, judgemental, judging others for fun and profit, Ken Silva, Lying for truth's sake, marketing for God, Martin Luther, Mega-Church, metrosexuals, Money, ODMafia. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

6 Responses to Followers declare John McArthur infallible!

  1. truthslayer says:
    January 24, 2010 at 7:17 pm

    I believe that there are Emergent spies in most churches, ready to infiltrate and alter any church voting aspirations.

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  2. donjobson says:
    January 24, 2010 at 8:22 pm

    Clearly eventhough basketball is the same as some dark pagan heathen game:

    James Naismith’s Creation and Primary Development of Basketball
    James Naismith left many diaries and interviews that explain clearly how and when he created basketball. Massachusetts had cold winters, and people wanted a game that could be played inside. Naismith was a Canadian teacher, born in Almonte, Ontario on the 16th November, 1861.[1]. Naismith was an orphan from early in his life, and his uncle led him to study Hebraism and philosophy, to train to become a priest.
    Ancient origins
    Naismith also knew a couple of ancient religious traditions: the Mayan po-ta-pok and the Aztec tchlatchli. Po-ta-pok was played using a full inside ball made by rubber[6] and a ring, placed on a pole, as in the modern basketball, but vertically. Inside the ring usually there were religious symbols, and in Chichén Itzá, there is the typical image of Quetzalcoatl, one of their Gods[7]. Dozens of players could take part. During po-ta-pok matches, injuries and even deaths were common, due to the ball’s heaviness and the violence of the game. Sometimes, the losing team was supposed to be sacrificed to God[8]. Tchlatchli was more or less the same. There is a famous anecdote about a match between the teams of Nezahualpilli, tlatoani of Texcoco, and Moctezuma II, tlatoani of Tenochtitlan (tlatoani means “ruler”). They organised the match because they didn’t agree on a prophecy about the conquest of their kingdoms by a foreign country: Nezahualpilli agreed, Moctezuma didn’t. The first one won three matches out of five, and in the same year, the Spanish army conquered their kingdoms[9]. (See: Mesoamerican ballgame)

    MacArthur sanctifies basketball with his self-righteous presence unlike those heathen Emergents with their pagan and demonic Yoga.

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  3. John Piper Found To Be Not A True Calvinist « The Online Discernmentalist Mafia says:
    January 24, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    […]  4. He isn’t John MacArthur God’s holiest Truth voice on earth. This is why John MacArthur is #1 in Absolute Truth.  […]

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  4. Arthur McJohn says:
    January 25, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Not only John MacArthur sanctifies basketball with his holy presence; he could even sanctify comunist soccer!

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  5. Todd Friel Caught Violating John MacArthur’s Pure Doctrines On Romans 13 « The Online Discernmentalist Mafia says:
    March 9, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    […] John MacArthur’s (#1 Truth Warrior) Absolute Biblical Certainty, we’ve caught Todd Friel (Wretched) violating John […]

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  6. John MacArthur Declared The First Ever Discernmentalist Pope! « The Online Discernmentalist Mafia says:
    May 15, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    […] may be applied against our normative Absolute Rules. After Discernmentalists  declared John MacArthur 100% infallible by a voting margin of 100-0 this Jan., it was proclaimed that the logical  conclusion of this […]

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