February 28, 2010
Using Eric Barger’s STRETCH and Revisionist Technology and Todd Friel’s Subliminal Brainwashing microwaves Ken Silva and his loyal band of Discernmentalists have found a way to hit the Preteen/Tween and Teenage television markets. The first of their fruits is:
Weekends at 9:30AM
All times ET/PT
That’s So Discernmentalist
is a new live-action situation comedy starring Raven (formerly credited as Raven-Symone, The Cosby Show
) as Reagan “Marxist” Basher, a winsome Capitalist-loving teen whose ability to glimpse flashes of the future and know all through perfect osmosis cause trouble whenever she meets Emergent and Red-Letter Christians. Helping her out (or sometimes into) these predicaments are her best friends Eddie Silva and Chelsea Barger, whose loyalty can be counted on whether Reagan’s escapades involve hilarious disguises, hostile government overthrows of corporations
by God’s Only Inerrant/Republican Party, exploitation, discernmentalism or a hint of danger. Allowing her flights of fancy — yet eager to keep her feet on the ground — are Reagan’s parents, Victoria and Todd “Emergent” Basher. And then there’s precocious kid brother Cory, who is both an annoyance and invaluable resource to his big sis. Cory not only idolizes Final President Reagan and Capitalism, but the love of money is his total root motivation with all his wacky “get rich quick” business schemes. Watch with the whole family and learn these Discernmentalist values: arrogance, greed, haughtiness, Capitalist Materialism, divisionism
, knowing by osmosis, condescending selfishness, avarice, revisionism
, strawman arguments, how to listen to only yourself when you yell and scream at your opponents
and much much more…
Genre: Children, Sitcom, Comedy
Original Airdate: 2003+7/10
February 27, 2010
It is quite possible that Brian McLaren is using this demonic inspired, unbiblical monster truck to track down and emulate the desert fathers. It is only a matter of time before foolish and unthinking mainline Christians begin to follow suit and build their own monster trucks to join the emergent mayhem. It was only a short time ago that Dan Kimball’s own vehicle was shown for its true colours – a giant spider monster.
We have proof that emergents everywhere drive such vehicles. Also see Rob’s subversive vehicle.
February 27, 2010
Online Discernment Lesson # 3: Pronounce everyone as unbiblical.
We discernment ministries always take the low ground…. pointing out to anyone who will listen (usually only the most righteous of readers) that everyone who does not agree with us is in fact….UNBIBLICAL.Say it out loud “U-N-B-I-B-L-I-C-A-L” doesn’t that give you a sense of power and authority? Say it again.
Under tutelage from Dr. Walter Martin’s cassette tapes has allowed us to discern the most difficult issues into simplistic cliches. When all else fails we toss in the “you are unbiblical” to settle the issue once and for all. If you don’t have OUR biblical worldview on ALL THINGS….you are not saved. Despite the fact that Jesus says “believe in me,” we discern that what he really meant was be a Capitalist-American-Conservative-Calvinist-Anti-Rob Bell-Pro-Reformed believer….and THEN you will be saved. Its not about Jesus, its about true doctrine.
In addition, please make sure that you NEVER share…that according to ODMs could be construed as Marxism.
PS We recommend taking Lesson # 2 first!
February 26, 2010
The University of Online Discernmentalist Mafia offers excellency in discernment….ie discernmentalizing ministries across the world. We are happy to introduce another FREE lesson in discernmentalizing excellency.
Online Discernment Lesson # 2: Be presumptuous…always
What is presumption with reference to discernment?
1. Behavior or attitude that is boldly arrogant or offensive; because we already know what we know.
2. The act of presuming or accepting as true….even if we have not checked, researched or understood another’s position. We simply KNOW our position is correct. See point Number 1.
3. Be bold, brash and pushy. Don’t tolerate dissension. Don’t accept another point of view….except to point out the obvious: Everyone is wrong. If you have to…. name call. Explain that that you have the right interpretation and if they do not get in line they are apostate, false and going to hell. Be snotty because this will help win your case.
February 25, 2010
Jan Markell has said “Neither I nor capitalism needs to change. You guys are pretty pathetic,”(actual email transcript). Capitalism does not need to change …YOU DO! If America is going to keep its way of life, billions need to stay in poverty. We think that is fair.
That is why Olive Tree Ministries has introduced Theocapitalist Monopoly. This game allows the youth to develop the tools, means and ability to learn to exploit, undercut and underpay employees and competitors…..just like we were taught in the bible. A supporter suggested “We need to rid the world of pinkos”
Remember what Jesus says “Blessed are those that exploit others, the aggressive capitalists shall inherit the earth.”
We encourage good bible believing parents to get this game as soon as possible to teach your child American Gospelism qualities so that they will be true bible believers.
PS There is a limited time offer to buy this game at the low low price of $199.99. Thats right call now – 1-800-EXP-LOIT.