Discernmentalists dilutes target for greenhouse emissions cut

Washington (Reuters) – Online Discernmentalist Ministries have trimmed its goals for cutting hot-air gases (spewing from overzealous rhetoric) and made clear it will follow the U.S. lead on fighting climate change, a move that prompted fresh criticism from green groups.

Bob Nestor of GREEN AMERICA stated “Too many discernmentalists continue to spew hot air and they do not give any thought to the environment.” Greenpeace spokesman weighed in suggesting “Discernmentalists are the number one cause of planet warming. Methane from cows is no contest next to these hot air spouters.”

ODMs across North America and South Africa claimed personal attacks and decided that they would take a stand, fighting back with more hot air and long winded articles. One ODM denounced the pronouncements and suggested that they were being intentionally undermined by liberals who are taking over the world using hypnotherapy generated through  scented candles. Tinfoil hats will be distributed to true believers by next Wed.

Truthslayer

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Laigle’s Forum claims Mega-Emergent-Churches are Gobbling up Smaller Churches

Though we have yet to find any proof, (and we do not need any as we have read this on Laigle’s Forum and know it is all true!), Laigle’s Forum makes claim that Liberal-Mega-Churches are gobbling up smaller bible believing churches.

We need to be aware that the emergent church movement is completely out of keeping with biblical principles and is ungodly. This is why we have liberal mega-churches gobbling up small defenseless churches that are still true to the gospel of Jesus. (source)

Yes, this claim was made in 2008 and look at us now! Our defenseless small churches are all but gone do to our stand on being irrelevant! We must stand harder on being irrelevant! We also know Brian McLaren has forced the Liberal Christian Missionary Alliance to keep buying up small churches!

There is no one to blame when our small churches fail and a mega church picks up the pieces and pays the bills greedily gobbles up any small church that is in financial ruins do to poor management. These Emergents who own liberal mega churches must be stopped in any way we can! So send your tithes and offerings to the ODMafia and we will start buying up all the small non liberal churches we can and close them ourselves!

This has been a public announcement from the ODMafia.