Twice as doctrinally pure as before!

The ODMafia has done it again!!!!

Our pure doctrines were heated to extreme temperatures (over 10,000 degrees celcius) Fri night to produce PURE GOLD (doctrinally speaking). While we were already at %100 accuracy our late nite conference (don’t worry no couches or candles were used in settling doctrinal issues)helped us to refine things even more.

We are accuracy plus perfection. Pure + biblical. Mighty truthful, and so very humble.

We can’t be any more Calvinist than we already are now…except for rewriting John Calvin’s “Institutes” and adding a few more points about predestination. We salute all Reformers every morning on our way to breakfast….and even have Westminster Confession collectibles and pajamas to prove our accuracy.  Moreover, to prove our worthiness of doctrinal supremacy we fully endorse uncritically capitalism (in any form), despise President Obama (because we are naturally republican) and hate Red Letter Christians (they emphasize the words of Jesus and are therefore dangerous). Finally, we believe that Christians who seek unity are bent on serving the anti-Christ. True Christians are about divisiveness. In fact when we say “rightly dividing the word of God” we mean it by dividing the sheep and the goats. We realize that it is not the job of a regular Christian to do such things…. but it is our job. We have the credentials….we are %200 SURE!

Truthslayer

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3 Responses to Twice as doctrinally pure as before!

  1. addict says:

    Yes , YES, good adding to the cross because when the Lord sid I am he meant I am kinda God . ( I think I get this blog) but you know. 1Cr 1:26 For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, [are called].

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  2. […] upon a Ring of  Counter-Discernmentalists who have counter discernmentalized all of our wise and 200% Absolutely True discernmentalizations. Utilizing Eric Barger’s Bible Based Logic And Slander techniques and course on Guilt By […]

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  3. […] or have controlled speech nor worry about trashing church leaders.  We are above that because our pure doctrines give us an exemption clause. In fact we have an Official Exemption Card that disavows us even from […]

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