Now more than ever we need to teach the up and coming generation about the purity of capitalism

February 25, 2010

Jan Markell has said “Neither I nor capitalism needs to change. You guys are pretty pathetic,”(actual email transcript). Capitalism does not need to change …YOU DO! If America is going to keep its way of life, billions need to stay in poverty. We think that is fair.

That is why Olive Tree Ministries has introduced Theocapitalist Monopoly. This game allows the youth to develop the tools, means and ability to learn to exploit, undercut and underpay employees and competitors…..just like we were taught in the bible. A supporter suggested “We need to rid the world of pinkos”

Remember what Jesus says “Blessed are those that exploit others, the aggressive capitalists shall inherit the earth.”

We encourage good bible believing parents to get this game as soon as possible to teach your child American Gospelism qualities so that they will be true bible believers.

Truthslayer endorsed!

PS There is a limited time offer to buy this game at the low low price of $199.99. Thats right call now – 1-800-EXP-LOIT.

Discernmentalist Church History 101: Solo Calvinus!

February 25, 2010

Discernmentalists here is one of the exciting new Free Online Discernmentalist Courses that we  are now offering. Discernmentalist Church History 101: Solo Calvinus—Pastor I. Todyaso recommends this course for all new Discernmentalists! We Know that all True Church History begins and ends with John Calvin. Sure we may use John Wesley and Martin Luther every now and then in our attacks on defense of Truth (except when they don’t even agree with us) but we are not even certain that these two men really exist. And we are Absolutely Certain that Karl Barth doesn’t exist.

We also Know that there were no True Christians before John Calvin and the only True Christians after John Calvin must follow him and Ronald Reagan (as Capitalism is unBiblical) exclusively. We Know Sola Scriptura, Sola Christus, Sola Gratia, Sola Fide really mean only our interpretation of Calvin‘s interpretation of Scripture is correct, you can only get to heaven by the Synods of Dort, the only True Grace is for Discernmentalists and you should have faith only in our interpretation of Calvin’s interpretation of  Scripture.

P. S. And remember Semper 1600’s—Always 1600’s always and Soli Calvinus et Noster Veritas Belli gloria—for the glory of Calvin and our Truth Wars alone. 

P. P. S. Dr. Arthur  McJohn reminds you to burn an Anabaptist in Calvin’s honor as a prerequisite for taking our course so that we’ll know that you are Truly Hardcore Deformed Reformed enough like these guys are to pass our tests of True Orthodoxy.

Drs. Don Jobson, Truthslayer, I. Todyaso and Arthur McJohn—your Professors of Discernmentalist Divisional and Revisional Church History.

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