March 31, 2010
In a dangerous twist of events, emergents are not only taking over the world but now infiltrating the world of food. This “NEW KIND OF CRUNCH” is an attempt to revisit cereals before the processed whole wheat period that has permeated so much of our known cereals today. Some say its a cereal that delivers for post-moderns (all the more reason NOT to eat it!)
We demand that this cereal be stopped!!! We can only guess that some time soon he will introduce whole grain oats, barley, and maize to this liberal mix. Its processed whole-wheat or nothing!!! We demand processed cereals, thru the traditional well orchestrated mechanized & systematized big-farm approach of stripping all wheat fibre of any nutrition and repackaging it into a one size fits all, no-fuss cardboard breakfast experience. Simply put, submit to our rules of cereal expectations.
We demand nothing less. Reject the new kind of crunch!
March 30, 2010
Brian McLaren best known for his image on the popular heretic trading cards found in Calvin Crunch Cereal, revealed what A New Kind of Christian will look like when his New Kind of Christianity will be implemented across the globe. The audience gasped in horror as Brian McLaren (Also known for a couple of books he has written) showed pictures of the first of the New Kind of Christians that have been spotted on the New Frontier. This new “Christian” is called the Ankoc, which we know that if translated into Hebrew, then Greek, then Latin, then back into English, then adding a m and an l we get Mollok. Mollok is close to Molech that is also close to Rupert Murdoch who sells porn as well as Rick Warren books. As you can see this is much more complicated that it needs be. If you just take our word for it, you will be safe to know that we know and we are saying is all of Satan somehow. We must also be aware that Brian McLaren is using OUR OWN TECHNIQUES of linking to ourselves! Ken Silva who is the master at incestuous self linking who realized that by doing so raises your Google rating and gives the appearance of high volume readership, seems to have taught Brian McLaren this technique! Of course Ken Silva is master enough to call Brian out for using Ken’s original idea.
March 30, 2010
Attention Truthwarriors!!! A truth conference is coming to NEW YORK CITY and this is a must for any true ministry of biblical truth defending. We advise you to sign up fast since seats are limited. Please keep in mind that iTodyaso, DonJobson and Truthslayer will be the main speakers at this fantastic biblical event, and big media (FOX NEWS, and Rush Limbaugh) will be there to cover their speaking engagements. We will do our best to concentrate our focus on unessentials, and to cause further division in the name of truth.
NUTella… putting the NUT back into discernment.
March 30, 2010
You must learn to see things the way WE see things. Remember what George Orwell once said “It is impossible to see reality except by looking through the eyes of the Party. ” When he writes “Party” he means Discernmentalist. Remember, WE have the truth. You must imbibe the truth from us. Unhinge your brains and allow us to think ‘biblically’ for you. IE Rob Bell doesn’t have the truth because we say it is so. If you deviate from our doctrinal script you too will be under OUR wrath and therefore NOT a true believer. Don’t anger us because we have the absolute truth and that will force us to discernmentalize you as well.
Eric Barger’s Take A Stand Ministries says it best….”Their unorthodox view of the Christian faith, including doctrine and solo scriptura, aided in drawing many who were seeking a self-styled Christianity rather than the biblical version.” You will do well to see things OUR way (the biblical version)….the ONLY way. Do do deviate, do not disagree. Reality can only be perceived properly if you see it thru our eyes…. the biblical version, our version.
March 29, 2010
Are you tired of being forced to use the iPhone, and iPod made and built by pagans? Now you can enjoy the new iTruth. The iTruth was made in the ODMafia Research and Discernmentalist Labs for truth warriors by truth warriors. This unique mp3 player is the only one of its kind in the world. It will only accept songs and podcasts tha assent to absolute certainty and absolute truth.
March 29, 2010
Thank goodness Eric Barger’s Take a Stand Ministries is constantly discerning, so that we don’t have to apply any mental effort at all. Barger states “Though it’s impossible to be completely sure just exactly why Obama has amended President Reagan’s order, it is no stretch to imagine that his reasons do not include protecting the United States, its citizens and our sovereignty. We may hear that this executive order was amended just to afford INTERPOL agents the ability to track terrorists on our soil or some such explanation. However, before we give a sigh of relief, it would be wise if the Bible-believing Church recognized that when Antichrist first sets about reining in his opposition, he’ll undoubtedly use the same tactics and the same type of phony excuses to cover his true intentions.”
Phony excuses and tactics? What would that look like?
Would that be like using fictitious stories to invade countries like Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan? Would that mean for instance having a media that interviews 99% of its sources (see BBC) from a pro-war, defence-contractor connected opinions to invade say Iraq? Could that also mean a myriad of over hyped stories to invade, set up fales-flags, terrorize or to train death squads in regions like Nicauragua, Cuba, Grenada, or Honduras? I realize that these evil countries are ready to pounce on America, even INVADE America at a moments notice with their mighty aircraft carries, stealth fighters, and their 5 commando units. We respect the fact that 22 CIA agents were involved in kidnapping in a foreign country….but that is not anti-Christ because it was under Bush’s administration and Republicans would never act anti-christlike. It simply was a pro-American thing to do…. violate a foreign countries citizens.
Bible-believing bible believers need to understand that we need to look to Reagan to solve all our problems! We know that a Democrat could be the anti-Christ, because by default they are not true believers. Finally, we need to watch out for Obama, because an executive order that will lead to world domination and the anti-christ. His first trick already is to insist on a better health care system.
PS Please remind Take A Stand Ministries that you take a stand!
March 28, 2010
Do you like to twist words to alter their meaning and discredit others?
Then you will surely enjoy DISCERNMENTALIST TWISTER! Fun for the whole discernment focused family.
Make the bible focus on everyone else’s faults but your own! Twist verses to mean something they don’t. Find out how you can make Rob Bell, Jim Wallis or NT Wright say something they haven’t. With this game, you will be twisting, altering, and changing meanings at will (right before your eyes). Before you know it, all context will be dissolved and left in the trash bin…and you will be well on your way to emulating true discernmentalism.
You will get your money back if by the end of one game you cannot misquote or take somebody out of context!
Truthslayer endorsed, ODMafia approved.
PS Guaranteed fun for the whole family, you will twisting and distorting everything that comes your way!
March 25, 2010
Recently the Department of Motorized Discernmentalism created a new Highway Discernmentalist Patrol Unit aka the Mobile Discernmentalism Unit or MobDU for short.
MobDU‘s primary tasks are:
- Discernmentalizing Eco-friendly vehicles
- Tagging and registering non-gas guzzling vehicles
- Making sure all vehicles on the road pollute the environment in order to speed up Jesus’ hasty yet sure return, the End Times and the Rapture
- Checking to see if all cars have at least one unregenerate reprobated non-Elect heathen on board just in case the Rapture happens soon as those Left Behind will need to man the car
- Scouting out Emergent Vehicles
- Alerting Discernmentalists whenever Brian McLaren’s Monster Truck and Dan Kimball’s Spider Vehicle of Doom are nearby
Among other Discernmentalizing tasks—also meet our new Armored MobDU Patrol Unit for extra protection against Doctrinal Impurities, the Emerging Apostasy, Emergentness and other such Heresies: