Emergents spread across globe….ODMs get concerned and angry

March 18, 2010

This chart is just in, and data collected and colated from our research robot monkeys from diverse Online Discernment Ministries suggest that the Emergent Hordes are spreading. Indeed the Emerging Hordes are dissemenating their anti-discernmentalist teachings & supressing the absolute truth. Candles, couches, house churches are popping up in ungodly places. Emphasis on trinitarian theology abounds! We fear soon that we will see Christocentric preaching (eeegads!!!) They engage in unbiblical things like stressing “conversation” with an interest in the ancient church while still looking forward!

Fear this now, believe us later.


PS On a serious note some have assumed that I’m part of the emergent church. Just for the record I’m not part of the “emergent church” but know people who are involved in the conversation of faith and support any of those within the pale of Christian orthodoxy and indeed those who are challenging unhealthy traditionalism.

Pure soap for the pure discernmentalist!

March 18, 2010

Online Discernmentalists are always striving to be better than thy neighbour… and when we achieve that “betterness,” we like to point out just how good we are against how bad you are. That is why we bring you PUREX- Doctrinal Discernment Soap. It is the soap that is guaranteed to be the very purest for the connoisseur of discernmentalism.

No more fears with this product….

You can feel safe while washing your clothing because it will separate from pagans, non-Christians, liberals, Roman Catholics, Samaritans and emergents. This detergent prevents your clothing from mixing with the unclean! Guaranteed 100% Pure just like our doctrines.

Built in the ODMafia research & discernmentalist labs.


PS for external use only

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