March 28, 2010
Do you like to twist words to alter their meaning and discredit others?
Then you will surely enjoy DISCERNMENTALIST TWISTER! Fun for the whole discernment focused family.
Make the bible focus on everyone else’s faults but your own! Twist verses to mean something they don’t. Find out how you can make Rob Bell, Jim Wallis or NT Wright say something they haven’t. With this game, you will be twisting, altering, and changing meanings at will (right before your eyes). Before you know it, all context will be dissolved and left in the trash bin…and you will be well on your way to emulating true discernmentalism.
You will get your money back if by the end of one game you cannot misquote or take somebody out of context!
Truthslayer endorsed, ODMafia approved.
PS Guaranteed fun for the whole family, you will twisting and distorting everything that comes your way!
March 25, 2010
Recently the Department of Motorized Discernmentalism created a new Highway Discernmentalist Patrol Unit aka the Mobile Discernmentalism Unit or MobDU for short.
MobDU‘s primary tasks are:
- Discernmentalizing Eco-friendly vehicles
- Tagging and registering non-gas guzzling vehicles
- Making sure all vehicles on the road pollute the environment in order to speed up Jesus’ hasty yet sure return, the End Times and the Rapture
- Checking to see if all cars have at least one unregenerate reprobated non-Elect heathen on board just in case the Rapture happens soon as those Left Behind will need to man the car
- Scouting out Emergent Vehicles
- Alerting Discernmentalists whenever Brian McLaren’s Monster Truck and Dan Kimball’s Spider Vehicle of Doom are nearby
Among other Discernmentalizing tasks—also meet our new Armored MobDU Patrol Unit for extra protection against Doctrinal Impurities, the Emerging Apostasy, Emergentness and other such Heresies:
March 21, 2010
We are proud to help solidify the BONDS of marriage with our new marriage seminars. For a mere $300 we offer a free chain to keep your wife in line. Churchmen everywhere will always know where your woman is so no more staying wives. It comes with detachable cuff links on the men’s side as we all know men are the head of women. This allows men to have the flexibility to leave for work and leave your wife chained securely to the kitchen where she belongs. We here at the ODMafia support the suppression of women as our DOCTRINE dictates!
March 19, 2010
Our research robot monkeys are always on the prowl, looking for satanic influences under coffee tables, emergent candles and hiding behind bushes. This time, out in the open, and not even hiding we found satan disguised in this game: Settlers of Catan.
Note: Catan sounds like satan. Replace the C and insert an S…and you have Satan.
This game is absolutely certain to mean Settlers of Satan…as in satanic settlers are settling in the world of Catan. You heard it first here! When it comes to sensationalist news, over generalizations, fear mongering and strawman attacks…. look no further than your favourite Online Discernmentalist Ministry: THE ODMAFIA.
Always 100% pure doctrine, 100% pure discernmentalism. Setting the standard.