DISCERNMENTALIST TWISTER!

March 28, 2010

Do you like to twist words to alter their meaning and discredit others?

Us too!

Then you will surely enjoy DISCERNMENTALIST TWISTER! Fun for the whole discernment focused family.

Make the bible focus on everyone else’s faults but your own! Twist verses to mean something they don’t. Find out how you can make Rob Bell, Jim Wallis or NT Wright say something they haven’t. With this game, you will be twisting, altering, and changing meanings at will (right before your eyes). Before you know it, all context will be dissolved and left in the trash bin…and you will be well on your way to emulating true discernmentalism.

You will get your money back if by the end of one game you cannot misquote or take somebody out of context!

Truthslayer endorsed, ODMafia approved.

PS Guaranteed fun for the whole family, you will twisting and distorting everything that comes your way!


Mobile Discernmentalists Unit

March 25, 2010

Recently the Department of Motorized Discernmentalism created a new Highway Discernmentalist Patrol Unit aka the Mobile Discernmentalism Unit or MobDU for short.

MobDU‘s primary tasks are:

  • Discernmentalizing Eco-friendly vehicles
  • Tagging and registering non-gas guzzling vehicles
  • Making sure all vehicles on the road pollute the environment in order to speed up Jesus’ hasty yet sure return, the End Times and the Rapture
  • Checking  to see if all cars have at least one unregenerate reprobated non-Elect heathen on board just in case the Rapture happens soon as those Left Behind will need to man the car
  • Scouting out Emergent Vehicles
  • Alerting Discernmentalists whenever  Brian McLaren’s Monster Truck and Dan Kimball’s Spider Vehicle of Doom are nearby

Among other Discernmentalizing tasks—also meet our new Armored MobDU Patrol Unit for extra protection against Doctrinal Impurities, the Emerging Apostasy, Emergentness and other such Heresies:


Eric Barger Discovers A Warp Hole To A Secret NWO Location In His Own Backyard

March 25, 2010

Recently a black hole appeared in Eric Barger’s own backyard. Upon further investigation our Research Robot Monkeys discernmentalized that the black hole was a warp hole. Not only that but the  warp hole is a warp zone to a secret New World Order location: the Illuminati Party Headquarters. Sending our GOIP Investigating Excavator Research Robot Monkeys into the warp hole to infiltrate the Illuminati Party Headquarters they discovered this:

“Another performance of the AM Jazz ensemble at the Scottish Rite Masonic Center–Eric Barger as vocalist.”  Clearly this proves that Eric Barger is a Secret NWO Agent and Leader.


United We Stand Against Social Justice!

March 21, 2010

We are not Ecumenical as Ecumenism compromises our Pure Doctrines and the True Gospel…. but…. United We Stand…in our diverse ways of  hatred. United we stand in bigotry and arrogance. United We stand in slandering and libel. United We stand in haughtiness. United We stand in Discernmentalism, greed and True Americanism…United We Stand as DUASJ (Discernmentalists United Against Social Justice).

We Know that Social Justice is evil. We Know that Social Justice is anti-American. We Know that Jesus never talked about Social Justice at all. We Know that Jesus only talked about buying a ticket to Heaven for the Elect and the Elect chosen and frozen few only as that is the Gospel. We also Know that Social Justice is a code word for Communism, Marxism and Socialism as Jan Markell explains:

The causes of the religious Left are exclusively social, socialism, and social justice (just another term for socialism.)  You can read about them on the various Web sites such as the National Council of Churches (NCC).  Some representatives are more extreme than others, but most are cozying up to “liberation theology,” various Marxist dictators, amnesty for illegals (also being promoted by the National Association of Evangelicals), socialized medicine, pacifism, opposition to welfare reform, and even a resistance to a missile shield for America!  Some of them even want a “truth commission” to examine U.S. war atrocities.  And for this crowd, “Obamacare” is a dream come true. As I write this, they are denouncing the few pro-life Democrats who could bring “Obamacare” to a halt.

We also Know that there is no such thing as Social Injustice and that the only social sins are homosexuality and abortion as Jan Markell further states:

And then there is Jim Wallis, who represents a ministry known as Sojourners. He’s a 1960s Communist who worked with the radical Students for a Democratic Society (SDS). He realized he had to moderate to the center and be a socialist as the years went by. He is making appearances on Christian college campuses and hitting it out of the park with his messages. His thrust is to get students to quit focusing on abortion and same-sex marriage and, start to think about “social justice” issues. 

 Discernmentalists, We must take a stand in our diverse ways of  hatred against Social Justice as Discernmentalists United Against Social Justice. Together we can make a difference in our diverse ways of fear-mongering so that we can halt the Communist menace that is out to destroy Our America, Our Gospel, Our Churches and Our Pure Doctrines.


New Marriage Seminars Hit Discernmentalist Churches

March 21, 2010

 

We are proud to help solidify the BONDS of marriage with our new marriage seminars. For a mere $300 we offer a free chain to keep your wife in line. Churchmen everywhere will always know where your woman is so no more staying wives. It comes with detachable cuff links on the men’s side as we all know men are the head of women.  This allows men to have the flexibility to leave for work and leave your wife chained securely to the kitchen where she belongs. We here at the ODMafia support the suppression of women as our DOCTRINE dictates!


Say “NO!!!!!!”

March 20, 2010

Discernmentalists say “NO”Here is why….

Apprising notes “The absolute truth is that the message of Jesus Christ runs counter to what the world, and now sadly much of evangelicalism, expects God to be like. A good analogy is that He calls you out of the world to walk the opposite way the rest of the people are going.”

For instance, when Rob Bell preaches on the Fruit of the Spirit (which contradicts the Western World’s self interested world view) he is really preaching against Jesus because we know that according to Apprising Ministries such preaching is unapproved especially if it attacks America or Rob Bell preaches this.

Moreover, Rick Warren’s PEACE initiative is also unbiblical, because we KNOW the bible would never advocate taking care of “the least of these.” We realize in the world of Apprising Ministries, War is Peace, and Peace is War.

Remember, real love tells the truth….but without love. We just need bare truth but without wisdom. Just say NO!

Truthslayer


Satanic sounding board game!

March 19, 2010

Our research robot monkeys are always on the prowl, looking for satanic influences under coffee tables, emergent candles and hiding behind bushes. This time, out in the open, and not even hiding we found satan disguised in this game: Settlers of Catan.

Note: Catan sounds like satan. Replace the C and insert an S…and you have Satan.

This game is absolutely certain to mean Settlers of Satan…as in satanic settlers are settling in the world of Catan. You heard it first here! When it comes to sensationalist news, over generalizations, fear mongering and strawman attacks…. look no further than your favourite Online Discernmentalist Ministry: THE ODMAFIA.

Always 100% pure doctrine, 100% pure discernmentalism. Setting the standard.

Truthslayer


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