The once mighty and slightly nasty Slice of Laodicea (SoL) has began a retreat to its secret Crosstalk lair. It seems that it is too costly to maintain the hate on more than one site so they ahve abandoned the SoL site. All teh hate one could want to read is now over at their Crosstalk blog where the Cross is rarely talked about but all the gossip on the people we love to hate is there! We here at the ODMafia only feel shame, embarrassment and dishonor at this major setback of one of the major players in the Hate Truth War. We are seriously considering revoking Ingrid’s SODUM membership.
This chart is just in, and data collected and colated from our research robot monkeys from diverse Online Discernment Ministries suggest that the Emergent Hordes are spreading. Indeed the Emerging Hordes are dissemenating their anti-discernmentalist teachings & supressing the absolute truth. Candles, couches, house churches are popping up in ungodly places. Emphasis on trinitarian theology abounds! We fear soon that we will see Christocentric preaching (eeegads!!!) They engage in unbiblical things like stressing “conversation” with an interest in the ancient church while still looking forward!
Fear this now, believe us later.
PS On a serious note some have assumed that I’m part of the emergent church. Just for the record I’m not part of the “emergent church” but know people who are involved in the conversation of faith and support any of those within the pale of Christian orthodoxy and indeed those who are challenging unhealthy traditionalism.
Online Discernmentalists are always striving to be better than thy neighbour… and when we achieve that “betterness,” we like to point out just how good we are against how bad you are. That is why we bring you PUREX- Doctrinal Discernment Soap. It is the soap that is guaranteed to be the very purest for the connoisseur of discernmentalism.
No more fears with this product….
You can feel safe while washing your clothing because it will separate from pagans, non-Christians, liberals, Roman Catholics, Samaritans and emergents. This detergent prevents your clothing from mixing with the unclean! Guaranteed 100% Pure just like our doctrines.
Built in the ODMafia research & discernmentalist labs.
PS for external use only
Discernmentalists are all about games. Mind games, word games board games and the like. But this time we have outdone ourselves. We believe there are TOO MANY pharisees out there (like you). You do not submit to our mighty teachings – but you should. We give thanks that we are NOT like them…we are glad we are not like you!
That is why we created this game, to remind ourselves about everyone else. We don’t associate with a lot of people (like you) simply because you are not holy enough to be around us. In fact most Online Discernmentalist doctrines are simply not pure enough to even meet our standards and our rules . This is what the game is all about – rules, morals & standards. For instance when we tithe…its at 10.5%, when we fast we don’t shave or comb our hair and make our hardship postings on facebook.
We are suspicious of everyone and assume the worst...BECAUSE we know you are sinners…and can’t possibly meet our standards (but you should). We think you should carry heavy loads (especially guilt), but we ourselves don’t have to have the same guidelines because we are above it all (that goes without saying). Indeed we like to point out the faults of others, but use different standards for ourselves….because we can….and we don’t not accept criticism well (you usually don’t when you are as perfect as us!)
I highly recommend this game!
Get that game finger out and start pointing!!!!!
PS Pastor iTodyaso and Don Jobson also encourage everyone to play this game at least once.
How do we know? Good question…. here it goes….
All rulers in all ages have tried to impose a false view of the world upon their followers (1984). We’re offering you a “special worldview.” This allows us to propagate our pure doctrines, but being so pure we are often under attack. By keeping everyone focused on the errors of others, we can thwart any ideas that we harbour any ourselves. Online Discernment Ministries are sort of like a perpetual motion machine. This machine needs a lot of hot air (ie energy) to perpetuate itself. If we run our of errors, we run out of an excuse for a ministry.
That is why we assume we are ALWAYS under attack. That is our default. Our worldview revolves around us being right, and you being in horrendous error (always). We need to believe people are out to attack us, subvert our ministry or church….obviously because our doctrines are so pure that they are bound to be viciously undermined. We are the Online Discernment Remnant!!!!
Again. we need to spotlight all that is wrong in others, to avoid others seeing wrong in us. If we don’t promote fear and legalism, people are liable to take hold of God’s Grace.
We are to esteem our leaders… for their work (see first Thessalonians)
But again, discernmentalists are exempt. Our job is to accuse the brethren. Our job is to discernmentalize every move that Rick Warren, Rob Bell, Bill Hybels, Charles Colson, Charles Swindoll, NT Wright, Brian McLaren and Rob Bell makes….then itemize, italicize, and criticize every word, thought or deed…especially their thoughts, like the ones that they do not write down, or speak about. When we’re not sure what the accused meant, we fill in the blanks to make them say what we think they will say. We say what they really mean. We are presumpteous (due to our rightousness) enough to discern this.
Remember, when we mean esteem, we mean attack.
We are Big Brother of the discernmentalist world!