Rob Bell’s Nearly Semi-Pelagian Quasi-Universalism

April 22, 2010

robAccording to Christian Research Network they exercised a “Christian critique” of Rob Bell.

Apparently Rob is nearly semi-pelagian quasi-universal….

Thankfully Christian Research Network was using approved and blessed discernmentalist bibles. In addition we are relieved to know that they exercised their rational faculties that exposed that Rob was “NEARLY” but not QUITE. Nearly is not quite nearly.

There is almost, well maybe, I think a nugget of truth somewhere…..just not at CRN. Perhaps they are nearly truthful, but not quite truth, near as in regional, but not quite on target. But we support this kind of discernmentalism as absolute truth. We KNOW Rob is an emerging-liberal apostate…so anything we say or do (even if not factual) is still accepted as truth.

Truthslayer

PS I did not offer a direct link because everyone knows that researchmentalism is haphazard…and hazy at best. Remember the words in the Epistle of Titus”slander as many as possible and be inconsiderate, don’t show humility because you already have the absolute truth.”


Happy Divine Destruction Of The Earth Day!

April 22, 2010

Happy Earth Day. We  Discernmentalists do not believe in such a Worldly and Paganistic Earth-worshipping holiday as Earth Day. Foolish Environmentalists want us to take care of the Earth—what unbiblical nonsense (Genesis 1:26). The Earth is expendable for God in His Absolute Sovereign Wrath will soon enough destroy not only the Earth but the entire universe in these Last Days—that is after He raptures up His predestined Elect. This is why we must take a stand against such an unbiblical apostate and Satanic celebration as Earth Day so  remember these Bible-Based words of  our Pure theme song that we created using Eric Barger’s STRETCH Technology:

Discernmentalists chant: “WASTE!”
“FIRE!”
“TORNADOES!”
“FLOODS!”
“WRATH!”

Discernmentalists then shout: “Go God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath!”

Captain Pollution (John MacArthur) shouts: “By your Discernmentalist powers combined, I am Captain Pollution (John MacArthur)!”

Captain Pollution (John MacArthur), he’s our hero
Gonna take Emergent environmentalism down to zero

 

He’s our Discernmentalist powers magnified
And he’s fighting on God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrathful side

Captain Pollution (John MacArthur), he’s our hero
Gonna take Emergent environmentalism down to zero

Gonna help him put asunder apostates and
Other bad guys who like to spoil our Capitalistic looting and plundering

 

With a sinister jeer Brian McLaren snidely scowls: “You’ll pay for this Captain Pollution (John MacArthur)!”

We’re the Polluteteers
You can be one too
‘Cause self-righteously judging someone’s salvation is the thing to do!

Capitalistic looting and polluting are the Way
Hear what Captain Pollution (John MacArthur) has to say!

Captain Pollution (John MacArthur) triumphantly proclaims this Gospel message: “The Power of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath will Destroy the Earth!”


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