“The REAL Purpose of the Church.”

June 30, 2010

 

Eric Barger reveals “The REAL Purpose of the Church” by giving a sneak preview of what’s in store for all True ODM Churches in these Last Days. What’s in store for all Pure ODM Churches taking a stand for Absolute Truth you may ask? Why! Nothing but the blessed rapture! (Thanks to one of our Reasearch Robot Monkeys for catching this).

However we are not quite satisfied with that answer as we are not quite in the Last Days of this Great Tribulation of Emergent apostasy—because of this we must continue to stand for Truth so that we will be ready—Rapture Ready when the blessed rapture occurs before Jesus returns and comes to slay all the non-Elect unregenerate reprobates.

Are you ready? Here is our list of what one must do to be ready in order to prepare for the blessed rapture

  • Unconditionally support every act of Israel even their acts of terrorism
  • Unconditionally support USA-brand Imperialism
  • Vote Obama and every Democrat out of office
  • Smoke a Spurgeon-approved cigar
  • Buy 667 copies of John MacArthur’s book The Truth War: Fighting for Certainty in an Age of Deception and leave one copy everywhere you go just in case one of the regenerate predestined Elect accidently stumbles upon a copy and awakens to their status of being among the regenerate predestined Elect
  • Outlaw all abortion and homosexuality
  • Use only a King James AV1611 Bible or ESV
  • Burn any copy of Rick Warren’s Purpose Driven Life, Brian McLaren’s books or any other Emergent type book that you come across preferably while performing a Bible-Based animal sacrifice or while  burning Emergent heretics themselves 
  • Read only the Online Discernmentalist Mafia, The Official Blog Of God’s Only Inerrant Party, Ken Silva and other ODMs to get your facts]
  • Continue to be ever-vigilant and ever-valiant in your stand for our Absolute Biblical Truth
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5 Points to ponder.

June 30, 2010

At ODMafia…
We are 5 Pointers.

Point Number 1) We are Neither, a 1, 2 ,3 or 4 solas alone.
Point Number 2) We are Neither  5.1, or 4.9, but 5 solas alone
Point Number 3) We believe in Sola energy, alone.
Point Number 4) Our Solas are pure Solas. These solas are alone.
Point Number 5) Our Sola’s are by themselves. Apart. Alone. So alone they are lonely.

We alone truly assent to these 5 solas alone. It is simply because we are so biblical. We are extra concerned (more so than the Concerned Nazerenes). We Take A Stand, where mere mortals simply want to sit. We have a backbone for apprising the truth, when others have none. We refuse to take a small slice from laodicea, and will not tolerate the use of a  herescope.We do this alone. We exemplify the 5 solas.

Truthslayer


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