July 7, 2010
Introducing new science free light bulbs that are powered only by biblical faith. If it does not light up you can pretty much kiss your back end good bye – you lack faith and are likely not fit for heaven. We guarantee that these special light bulbs will NOT work with Roman Catholics, liberals, post-moderns, emergents and Rob Bell. We are confident that true believers (that is us and other online discernmentalist ministries) could light up entire crates of these special bulbs.
Order now and get a pair of free steak knives with every purchase!
July 7, 2010
We would like to welcome Bible Monkey to our Fold. Thanks to our Clear Teachings and expository preaching of John MacArthur’s Truth War Doctrines, Bible Monkey finally decided to embrace our Truth Wars. H0pefully we will soon gently coerce Bible Monkey into bowing down before our Pure Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth War but until then we still cannot reconcile with Bible Monkey.
We have high hopes for Bible Monkey though as Bible Monkey already demonstrates the Absolute Biblical Truth of our Pure Doctrines as Bible Monkey is:
- Totally captivated by our Clear Teachings
- Unable to resist sitting under our feet
- Learning to study our Truth War ways
- Irresistably drawn to our expositions of Absolute Gospel Truth
- Perfectly enslaved to our Great Merciful Loving and Graceful God’s Law and Wrath towards sinners