Bible Monkey Finally Embraces The Truth War Through Our Gentle Coercion


We would like to welcome Bible Monkey to our Fold. Thanks to our Clear Teachings and expository preaching of John MacArthur’s Truth War Doctrines, Bible Monkey finally decided to embrace our Truth Wars.  H0pefully we will soon gently coerce Bible Monkey into bowing down before our Pure Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth War but until then we still cannot reconcile with Bible Monkey.

We have high hopes for  Bible Monkey though as Bible Monkey already demonstrates the Absolute Biblical Truth of our Pure Doctrines as Bible Monkey is:

  • Totally captivated by our Clear Teachings
  • Unable to resist sitting under our feet
  • Learning to study our Truth War ways
  • Irresistably drawn to our expositions of Absolute Gospel Truth
  • Perfectly enslaved to our Great Merciful Loving and Graceful God’s Law and Wrath towards sinners

5 Responses to Bible Monkey Finally Embraces The Truth War Through Our Gentle Coercion

  1. Jesus Reyes says:

    You cannot hang a monkey on a cross. That is animal cruelty. I am going to report you to the ASPCA.

    You also cannot hang a monkey by the neck, put one before a firing squad, put one in an electric chair, put one under a guillotine or throw one before the lions. Neither can you burn one at the stake, or kill one by torture aka, enhanced interrogation.

    There is something terribly wrong with you. You must be mad.


  2. […] olive branch Posted on July 9, 2010 by Bible Monkey It looks like the bloggers at ODMafia have extended an olive branch offering to bring me into the fold. They’re making it look like […]


  3. Bible Monkey says:

    There’s two sides to every story. My side is here!


    • donjobson says:

      We reject your story and substitute our Own. Seriously though good job you are becoming more and more like a True Truth Warrior as sometimes we even have to Discernmentalize our fellow Truth Warriors and hold them accountable to our Pure Doctrines to make sure we all stay Sound.


  4. james jordan says:

    I guess if we really evolved from monkeys a sinless monkey would do the trick for penal substitutionary atonement. If only the Christian God had waited until after Darwin — He/They could have saved him/themself a lot of trouble.


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