Be rapture ready….we are.

We know that UFOs are going to be used for the excuse of the rapture….since the rapture is really the heart of the gospel. “Believe the rapture and be saved.” The rapture has been a central core doctrine since the beginning and early followers would never relinquish that fact…and waited strategically almost 18 centuries to reveal the truth of end times theology thru TimLahaye books. As for back as we can remember this pure doctrine has been taught and retaught, tweaked, adjusted…but to be sure a true bible believing Christian must focus all their energy and time on tribulation and the rapture. Sensationalism, speculation & conjecture are the kinds of things St. Paul said were marks of the true church. If this topic does not consume you….you are likely a liberal, emergent, moderate or worse…a Roman Catholic.

Finally, we must be convinced that all objects we view in the sky and don’t quite understand must be demonic entities ready to seduce mankind. Even though we don’t have enough data to make sense of these things it is best to fear the worst…and rely of fear. Although it would be much easier for demons simply disguise themselves as super-hot-super-models to seduce men …instead demons have been distracted by really cool movies like 2001:A Space Odyssey, Star Wars and Star Trek V. Therefore they have devised a whole sci-fi schemata to trick mankind with all sorts of smoke and mirrors and holograms. Sadly woman won’t fall for these tricky demons because they find sci-fi boring. Therefore, the demons will have to work 3 times harder to seduce them by either disguising themselves as shopping bags or demonic make-up kits.

Be warned. The Truth is out there. Be rapture ready.


PS if our woman readers are offended by suggesting that they don’t like sci-fi and would rather shop we must make it plain that we believe it is biblical and woman should be busy in the kitchen (sometimes we must offend and tell the truth). Remember, we don’t make the rules, we just enforce them.

7 Responses to Be rapture ready….we are.

  1. Tim Worth says:

    This is a brilliant piece out of a vast wasteland. I think you may have plagiarized it. If not, then you are a genius. It is truly meme-worthy. I think I may memorize it and take it home with me to the next Thanksgiving Day Inquisition.


  2. […] Constitutional Invasion War. Ron Fail is anti-wars pacifist so means he pro-terrorist and also pro-the saTanic Emergent ufo invasions to brainwash the masses. We must stands up to […]


  3. Al says:

    Is it beyond your intelligence to suppose that satan and his demons would not only use – as you put it… (sic) “easier for demons simply disguise themselves as super-hot-super-models to seduce men” …but also other methods and means of making one take his/her focus away from God’s truth … including “aliens”, as a way to deceive and cause doubt! I think an enemy as intelligent as the Devil would have a multi-faceted stratagem consisting of various temptations and distractions!

    And yes that’s “your” poor grammar that I’m referring to above. I only do it because of a posting of yours that included this…

    Haughtiness comes before the fall and pride before destruction!


    • truthslayer says:

      Dear Al,
      I’ll have you know that my grammar is rich not poor. Grammar changes to my dictates. As a discernmentalist I believe that the devil has only ONE faceted (not multi-faceted is probably emergent terminology)strategy to undermine poor souls like yourself. I only post this to help you understand your poor understanding of the devil, and hope that one day you can read and write at my level.

      PS We offer a variety of courses and programs to elevate your discernmentalist skills to our unreachable level.


  4. I bet you wish george bush was still president now


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