Farewell @johnpiper

March 25, 2011

After much research by our robot monkeys who scour the WWW daily looking for dirt, gossip, lies, heretical news we are sad to say we found this video in which John Piper (one of the greatest Calvinists since John MacArthur) states fear of hell cannot save you! To this we see John must have read Love Wins by Rob Bell and has been converted back over to a (totally) depraved mind. We are not even sure if John Piper is saved anymore. As one commenter observed about this video…

“Love it! John Piper, a Calvinist who believes in Predestination preaching Conditional Atonement based on works salvation. Doesn’t get any clearer than that. ???????? Well unless of course you desire logic as you desire God!”

So we bid “farwell @johnpiper”.

Advertisements

Collect the new ODMafia Troll dolls!

March 14, 2011

We have finally found a way to honor all the trolls ODMs out in the WWW. Troll dolls are cute and fun to collect. Be sure to get them quick before they are gone!

Here is our special for today… the Ken Silva troll doll!

Collect them all! Pastorboy aka (name withheld by request!), and Chris Rosebrough and many others!


Hate the anti-haters!

March 10, 2011

This is so sad. How can heretics claim to take a stand against our hatred for them. We have our great and powerful DOCTRINES to stand behind on and they have their liberal interpretation. They follow liberals like Arminius and those influenced by them! We have Calvin and Luther! (Yes at times we allow a Calvininium in our midst, but only if they hate the same people we do!) These people love to be challenged in their faith while we want them to learn our ways of judgment and condemnation! While many will denounce people like Fred Phelps, we here know that most of those who call themselves part of the ODMafia agree with Fred Phelps on the important things like hating gays and others that are not like us! Join with us to hate the anti-haters! Send us your donations now before we are hated out of existence! God is sovereign!


Love Wins?

March 1, 2011

         

             A Blog Post by some of the Research Robot Monkeys

                          of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia:

Recently the ultra-mega sinfully ecumenical quasi-semi-Pelagian reprobated and heretical Universalist Emergent guru Rob Bell broke into the OD Mafia Headquarters. “Ho ho;” he said, “I’ve got Good News for you today…Love Wins.”

Alarmed by the disturbance our masters and heroes Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer and Dr. Don Jobson quickly withdrew their weapons. Now brandishing their bullhorns in the manner of Todd Friel—they began to shout down that vile and Wretched sinner Rob Bell. Our heroes the OD Mafia proclaimed the True Gospel—the good news of God’s Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred towards all those whose doctrines are impure and theology is incorrect.

All Rob Bell could say was “Love Wins…Love Wins…Love Wins…” Suddenly during the chaos Brian D. “amn your soul to hell” McLaren appeared in a mystical mist of confusion and grabbed the noble crew of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia and then disappeared. We haven’t seen or heard from either Dr. I . Todyaso, Dr. Truthslayer or Dr. Don Jobson ever since—although we suspect that those symbols of all that is evil in the world Rob Bell and Brian McLaren are holding them captive. The last thing we saw was Rob Bell driving off in a van laughing and calmly proclaiming that “Love Wins.”

P. S. If you see an Ice Cream Truck disguised as a traveling ministry with “Love Wins” painted on the side, please report the sighting to your nearest local Discernmentalist church.

            A. J. Research Robot Monkeys filling in for the OD Mafia


%d bloggers like this: