Farewell again @John Piper!

May 22, 2019

wg0900159

The push of the social gospel is now reaching even those who have been staunch supporters of the work we do here at ODMafia. Our beloved and revered under leader of reformed theology, John Piper, has slipped the tracks. Abandoning the true faith for the man pleasing Gospel of Shane Claiborne. In the following video you will hear Pastor Piper declare to the “Young, Restless, and Reformed” crowd to not waste their lives on retirement. Instead he admonishes them to consider; clean water, homeless people, and the needy:

I too like my fellow Discernmentalists am becoming so tired of hearing people in the church talking about being on the social justice committee. There is a difference between justice and social justice! For one Social Justice is cultural marxism and every church needs to get on the same page and disavow themselves from using this leftest marxist terminology and simply call their churches work justice, plain and simple! Secondly Social justice sounds too like Satan’s doctrine: socialism…and you don’t clink glass with the devils cohort’s or entertain the devils terminology even when it sound all warm and fuzzy. “Idiots”!!!!

Are any of our Doctrines and fellow Reformed types safe from being perverted by the heretical hordes? Finally my faithful Truth Warriors I leave you this quote from our Beloved Over-leader John MacArthur (PBUH):

aspects of true justice are conspicuously missing from the recent evangelical dialogue touting “social justice.” Instead, what we hear is an echo of the same accusatory rhetoric and political slogans being shouted by secular social justice warriors. That fact ought to awaken the Berean urge in every Christian.


Reward CEOs!

May 21, 2019

hZO0qLp

Counting our money like a Boss!

THE REASON WE LOVE CEOS

screen-shot-2010-05-30-at-7-07-16-pmWe discernmentalists approve of the capitalist ways because what is capitalist is biblical, and what is biblical is capitalist. Therefore, we approve of cost cutting measures that undercut the lowest paid workers to sustain those at the top. Moreover, this is to ensure that CEOs, Publishers, VPs, and Vice Presidents can continue making 10-100 times more money than the lowest paid ones.

Finally, we also encourage large corporations to outsource jobs. We concur that (like you) we don’t care about sustaining local economies. We only care about the bottom line and sustaining those who are in positions of power and privilege. It does not matter that an unemployed worker may now be a drain on the local economy due to his newly found lack of buying power. We are only glad that that VP etc can buy her new Porsche and still afford that nice cottage in the summer.

Keep the status quo!

Truthslayer CEO


Discerning the world (DTW) advancing STRETCH TECHNOLOGY

May 20, 2019

st2

Thankfully, our fellow discernmentalists Discerning The World are applying STRETCH tech to the world of discernmentalism. In case you are wondering STRETCH stands for   Survey Truth Revise & Exaggerate Truncate Cacophony of Hagiomania.

Here is what DTW found out about Rob Bell:

“Rob BellThe Story We’re Telling:    sin, salvation, business, art, justice and the importance of beginning in the beginning”

Indeed, very subversive stuff. Story telling,sin and even a THREAT to go back to the beginning. So what is so dark about….THE BEGINNING?

Using STRETCH… this is the sinister plot that was EXPOSED….remember STRETCH accurately interprets EVERYTHING! So here is the STRETCH interpretation as follows (will original spelling errors included):

” [DTW note: they are saying that you have got to go back to the beginning, go back to where ancient knowledge originately from, where sacret arts originationed from in order to move forward. How far do we have to go back? To the very beginning, of course. We, each individual person, needs to eat from the tree of life in order to gain knowledge.

Genesis 3:4-5   4 The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die!   5 “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”] ”

Insightful for sure!

Discernmentalist groups like us like to zone in on the negative.We like to find the worst, believe the least, and expect to find a sinister plot behind every bush or milk crate. We fully support this.  This is indeed an excellent application of ascertaining truth.

However we do have some questions………………………………..

Beginning Now…..lets look at the “BEGINNING
Ge 1:1 – In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

1) All knowledge and ALL things (visible and invisable) would begin with and from God’s creation. Very dark indeed.  Truth coming from God himself…how dare Him!

Ps 111:10 –   The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

2) Hmmmm. Could Rob perhaps be alluding to the beginning in reference to wisdom? Perhaps, but in good discernmentalist fashion DTW does not provide context. Only DTW ‘wisdom.’ Of course we endorse this kind of expert discernmentalism…out of context wisdom.

Pr 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

3) This is astounding. Fools despise wisdom. Not us… we love DTW  ‘wisdom. ‘ Proverbs also suggests that the FEAR (REVERENCE) of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge.  Hmmm. Something must be wrong with this verse because DTW suggests that we must reference satan as the beginning.

Recently we heard DTW were revising their STRETCH TECH as they’ve found even newer applications of it.

We at ODMAFA would like to put an offer in on this newly revised version of STRETCH TECHNOLOGY. This is obviously a MUCH needed technology that would alleviate us from having to think rationally, read our bibles, or depend on our robot research monkeys. If anyone out there can put us in touch with DTW, or contact DTW so that we can get a bargain deal on new STRETCH we’d appreciate it!

Truthslayer stretching the Truth with Action

PS Just remember that SATAN according to Discernmentalist Tradition is at the beginning….not God, or wisdom.


Eric…Heresy Free!

May 19, 2019

thank goodness

The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer:

‘I thank you, God, that I am not a HERETIC like everyone else. For my theological doctrines are pure (American & conservative), I pray 3 times a day (unlike my Muslim enemies who pray excessively at 5 prayers), I refuse to address social justice (because that sounds too my like socialism), I attack anyone who critiques capitalism (because consumerism, accumulation & exploitation) has nothing to do with the good news (and unAmerican). I also criticize anyone who speaks against militarism by calling them commies and liberals…because I am thankful to be alone in holding up the absolute biblical truth.

Finally ….I thank-you that I go from church to church to speak against other believers & calling them false teachers, heretics and apostates.”

Hunting down heretics and spotting heresies in our many enemies for your protection,

Truthslayer out (as in outing heretics)!


Radical Islam and Radical Olive Tree Ministries

May 18, 2019

khalil-Radical-Haters-unite

So Radical Islam watch out, we discernmentalists don’t like facts, or the real truth…and history is a nuisance. We support imperialism, power and wealth (and have bible verses we cherry pick to support it) as long as the brute force to enforce and support this infrastructure is not aimed at us. We like scapegoats here and abroad as long as we are not the scapegoats. Other than the facade of civility of our civilization, our backroom dealings with other nations is sometimes similar to Radical Islam….but thankfully we have GREAT PR! Thank-you MEDIA….oops I mean thank-you Liberal Media (because we know that corporate media is on our side!)

Radical Islam, sit tight, and wait for our good-guy-bombs to fall on you to make everything right. You see because we are the good guys, that makes you the bad guys. We can do evil, and call it good, because we are the west…and we have good PR….when you do evil we call it evil. That is the diference between good guys and bad guys. Good luck…in the most biblical sense possible!

Finally let us recal these words by Jan as we depart “Jesus said on the Mount of Olives (Matt. 24) that deception would be the primary cultural sign of the last days. Even some of God’s “elect” might be deceived by false theologies. “Good would be called evil and evil good” (Isaiah 5:20). Men would substitute light for darkness and darkness for light. Apostasy would consume churches and denominations that were once solid.”

Radically fearing in terror by radically spreading more fear and terror,

Truthslayer


Vatican spiritually terrorizing Bible-Believers with Pornographic art

May 17, 2019

1

Photo from  Mrs. Jobson’s old college textbookLINK

Ray Comfort (Awesome) Hell’s Best Kept Secret warns that the Vatican is spiritually terrorizing innocent Bible-Believers with pornographic art. Quote: “It’s dishonest to steal God’s ideas and say they came from nothing. Especially if one is going to paint or sculpt nude figures that might cause others to lust in their heart. Michelangelo’s Statue of David is obscene because its essentially pornographic as well as the Sistine Chapel.” Ray (Awesome)’s original quote on this from his Comfort Blog (Awesome) has been raptured into an atheist black hole so we pressed him to make a new statement on this—while working on our version of that sinful Arthur episode.

Thankfully Mrs. Jobson’s old college textbook on artwork censors all those smutty pics and sculptures so our house is lust-free. That reminds me of a funny story from when our son little Calvin was 8… we always read from the Old Testament for bed time stories to put our children to sleep… so he knows to stay clear of idolatry…. *chuckle*…Anyways Calvin was playing outside when he caught a glimpse of our apostate neighbor’s statue of a little girl and little boy kissing so he got it in his head and he smashed it….heh heh. Our son the Little Iconoclast!

On a related note Ray (Awesome) wanted us to plug his Awesome Bible-based art (Awesome):


Breaking: Discernmentalists to release newly discernmentalized version of “controversial” Arthur episode!

May 17, 2019

heterorat

Discernmentalists’ Discernmentalized Version of the Ratburn wedding episode of Arthur

Discernmentalists around the web have banded together to stop the assault on our Biblical marriages by fictional gay cartoon rats as we’ve already explained: Here and Here. So in keeping with our Discernmentalist traditions—we’ve decided to release a newly ghey and Canadian-free discernmentalized version of said “controversial” Arthur episode. Dr. Truthslayer has assured me that he has rounded up an all hetero white Conservative Bible-believing American voice cast to make sure the voice acting is ghey free. Ken Ham has overseen the reanimation process so that no lines may tempt viewers into becoming ghey. Dr. I. Todyaso has written an impeccable script and a PSA that will show at both the beginning and the end of the episode.

In our new discernmentalized version of this episode—suspected Sintologist Franklin Graham will voice act the Minister that will Biblically marry Mr. Ratburn to a Mrs. Ratburn instead of a Mr. Whocares. After the wedding Mr. Ratburn being a Bible-believing rat will assert his Male Headship over his new wife reminding her that her place is at home in the kitchen making his dinner and baby rats. On weekends when he’s not forcing doing Bible-based stuff with his new wife or doing his job to support and protect her through his 401k Elementary school teaching career—he’ll give Brain extra credit assignments just so he can get Brain alone so he can preach the Gospel of God’s Wrath to that smart-aleck atheist sinner.

The next half of the episode will feature Mr. Ratburn teaching the kids of Lakewood Elementary the Bible-believing values of picketing abortion clinics. Francine will accuse her garbage-collecting dad of being a liberal Environmentalist in league with an Emergent Global Warming cult. The kids will out Muffy as a closeted anti-American commie for writing a blog that sounds suspiciously liberal: Muffington Post. {Edit: We would make another joke but we’ve erased all the gheyness from this originally abominable episode}. In the end Brain will finally get regenerated and accept his salvation through Mr. Ratburn’s preaching of the Law of the Angry Sovereign God of Wrath through a Way of the Master: “Are you a good person?” test. Afterwards Mr. Ratburn forces Brain to do a book report on Ray Comfort* Hell’s Best Kept Secret—Brain then agrees that bananas prove that Evolution is a myth invented by liberally socialistic atheist scientists as well as Global Warming. The End?

{*- Note: Ray Comfort’s lawyer made us sign a non-disclosure agreement so we can’t tell you that when he heard about our project he begged us to let him be a part of it and to let us let him plug his book and ways of evangelism through guilt and fear. Also Kirk Cameron and Candace Cameron-Bure’s as well so we can’t tell you that Kirk Cameron is voicing the Brain; Candace is voicing Francine as well as Muffy and Mrs. Ratburn/all the girl parts (so we could cut costs—we also pay her less); and Ray of course is voicing Mr. Ratburn.} 

“Finally an animated anthropomorphic animal marriage for True Bible-believers and a great Bible-believing episode of Arthur. This is entertainment as it’s meant to be—a fight on the leftist assault on our values, eyes and ears— please consider a large donation to the Online Discernmentalist Mafia to help us continue our good fight on fictional gay characters like cartoon rats.”—Activist Mommy after viewing a donors’ only sneak preview of the newly discernmentalized version of the “controversial” Arthur episode.

Protecting the children through fear,

Don Jobson

 


%d bloggers like this: