Chick-Fil-A loses It’s Soul!: Compromises American Bible Values?

Discernmentalists are angry now that ChickFil-A promises to only be halfway anti-gay.  We here at the Mafia are mad too as we only like our chicken made by 100% anti-gay establishments. However we’re ok with 100% pro-murder; pro-adultery; pro-theft; pro-lying; etc chicken restaurants. American pagan Jesus weeps.

What this is—is a total erosion and a compromise on Discernmentalist America’s Biblical values from a company who has proudly stood behind Discernmentalist convictions for years. What a slap in our face! Everyone knows that chicken tastes better when its made with hate rather than love.

We miss the good ole days and our values being in the forefront… Back when we could threaten anyone who wasn’t 100% American enough like when pastors received death threats or threats of church arson not for following the way of Jesus with grace and love but for removing the American flag from front and center in our sanctuaries:

Such conciliatory gestures did not assuage hyper-patriots bent on rooting out disloyalty. War hysteria gave the nativists the opportunity to even the score. In some locales, anti-Dutch sentiment boiled over into mob action. Ministers found burning crosses on the parsonage lawn and farmers lost barns to the torch. In the vicinity of Pella, Iowa in 1918, several Christian schools were set afire in what became known as the “Hollander Fires.” Supporters managed to extinguish the flames at the Sully Christian School, leaving only minor damage, but the Peoria Christian School and adjacent Christian Reformed Church burned to the ground. In nearby New Sharon, the Reformed Church was set ablaze and the pastor, Edward Huibregtse, found dynamite under the parsonage that had failed to explode because of a defective fuse.²

Events in Peoria took an ugly turn in May 1918 when a young thug brutally beat James Hietbrink, the Christian school principal, as he walked home from the village general store. The flash points, apparently, were decisions not to unfurl the American flag over the school, buy war bonds, or sign food pledges. The school was bursting at the seams, due to the high birthrate among the Dutch, while four nearby public schools were “almost without pupils” and three “will shortly be closed.” Birthrates among the Ameri-cans were as low as among Dutch they were high. Follow-ing the attack, the school board immediately suspended classes, and county authorities or-dered the school to remain closed. Some weeks later, state education officials rescinded the order as illegal and allowed the school to reopen.

Dutch leaders saw the troubles rooted in “old and deep-rooted jealousy caused by the prosperity of the Holland-Americans.” Dutch farmers around New Sharon received threatening letters in the mail to “leave or be burned out.” American farmers, it was reported, hired thugs to set fires for $50 or $100 per “job.” The big barns of two farmers, G. Vos and an unidentified church elder, who had two sons serving in the army, were burned down one night.

Ah those were the days… back when America was truly Christian and Christians were truly great patriots Christians…. so Make America Great Again by letting Chick-Fil-A 100% gay hate again!

P. S. It was never about the short lines; deliciousness of it’s food; ethics; competitive prices; etc—it was always about hating whoever we hate as our Discernmentalist Gospels read: “We hate because Jesus first hate our many enemies first.”