Has Ultra-Truthwarrior Ken Silva Gotten Raptured Early?

Evil Emergents may have forced Ken Silva to get raptured early as Apprising has disappeared from the web:

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Love wins people over to heresy!

Ladies, Gentleman, and Underlings,  we knew that the fallout from the Rob Bell heretical view of non-hell was going to undermine the truth of scripture and lead many astray (sorry for the lack of grammatical clarity but we are so upset over this news we can’t use punctuation properly) but never did we imagine the magnitude of   the fallout.  Nor did we imagine the swiftness in which the Devil was going to lead people astray.   Nor did we think that our leadership would fall.

What’s the big news?

Hold on to your phylacteries,  bathe in holy water, hide the eyes of the innocent, and prepare the millstones:  R.C. Sproul (a.k.a second in charge [behind John McArthur PBUH] of calvinist dogma doctrine) says GOD IS IN HELL!    I wish we could say that we are making this up,  we wish that we could say that there was some confusion of intent, we wish that we could say wait until the book comes out but we can’t.  The truth is that R.C. Sproul believes firmly that GOD IS IN HELL based on this excerpt from his upcoming book “The place of God’s Disfavor”.

The problem with hell is not simply the absence of God’s graciousness. It is the presence of God that is so difficult. God is present in hell because He is omnipresent. The psalmist declares, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there” (Ps. 139:7-8). If God is everywhere in His being, then certainly He is in hell as much as He is anywhere else. The problem, then, is what He is doing there. He’s there in His judgment. He is there in His punitive wrath. He is present in hell as the One who executes His justice on those who are there. That’s why I say that anyone who is in hell would most want God, more than anyone else, to leave.

 

Rob Bell says there is no Hell.  R.C. Sproul says God is in Hell.  What next? God is Dead? Only God knows…well…and us.  After all we are discermentalists!

Attention Truth Warriors

It’s the most Satanic time of the year. Help us out by supporting our Truth War on German Lutherans. You can continue pledging your total allegiance to us by doing this, continuing your committed support of Bush’s illegal invasion of  the Iraq war and outlawing Christmas as one of our most hallowed Discernmentalists has noted: ” Btw, if you want to see a large, lavish Christmas display in a mall… go to Dubai in the UAE! Many countries that are not Christian celebrate this holiday. That right there should tell Christians it’s not of God!”

And you wouldn’t want to do anything that non-Christians let alone non-Americans do. Why if you celebrate Christmas you are supporting terrorism and the terrorists. Most of all how dare anyone have fun or take pleasure and joy in anything….for fun, pleasure and joy are a sin and you know how much our God of Absolute Sovereign Wrath and commendable hatred hates sin and sinners.

 

So this December pray that the war on Iraq continues and that more people would open their eyes and make war on Christmas. This message is brought to you by your friendly neighborhood GOIP Committee of Concerned Citizens in conjunction with Killjoy Puritan Calvinazi Church. 

 

McCarthy Ministries Puts Bible Monkey On Watchlist

McCarthy Ministries has done it again. They’ve caught Bible Monkey  in the midst of “Pinkness” which is practically Red for all of our paranoid purposes. McCarthy Ministries has also drawn up a list of character traits to be suspect of:

Precious American Gospel Bible Verses

Any True Christian American Patriot and True Citizen of the Kingdom of God aka America should keep these Bible verses as close to their hearts as their guns and ammunition:

For Christ came to butcher, destroy, bomb and burn our enemies so that they may die more violently. (John MacArthur 10:10).

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is long-suffering to us-ward, and is willing that all our enemies should perish, so that America may stand forever. (Second Peter Ruckman 3:9).

 For we know Him who said, “VENGEANCE IS OURS TO REPAY.” And again, “AMERICA WILL JUDGE ALL PEOPLE.” sayeth the Lord. (Bob “Hebrews” Jones 10:30).

But I tell you: Hate your enemies and pray an Imprecatory Prayer that God through American Military Might might smite as many of them as possible. (Matthew Ken Silva 5:44).

—All Scriptures  quoted from the 1611 King James Bible the Authorized American Version aka Chuck Norris’ Bible.

Ken Silva Is UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist!

 

Ken Silva and his Internet Para-Church of the True Remnant star in UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist the newest comedic Sci-Fi Discernmentalist smash hit and Blockbuster of the Summer! Fresh and straight from the creators of Full Mental Jack-@ss. Ken Silva as UltraKen leads his Internet Para-Church of the True Remnant: the Ultra-Discernmentalist Mafia as they sing, they dance and chant in a non-Contemplative way and most importantly they fight off the Babylonian hordes from Emergent Village. Watch as UltraKen and his army of loyal Truth Warriors the Ultra-Discernmentalists take on the evil reptilianoid Tony Jones, the equally evil dragonoid Doug Pagitt and the rest of the Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū)* from the Babylonian hordes of Emergent Village.

UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist features a special guest appearance by Chris Rosebrough of Pirate Radio playing the role of Spider-Pirateman. UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist coming soon this Summer to a theater near you. Itodyaso raves: “UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist contains over 40 times more Ken Silva than either Apprising Ministries or Christian Research Network!” Truthslayer exclaims: “Stupendous!” “A True Biblically Based comedic thrill-ride,” says Arthur McJohn; “my favorite part is when one of the UltraKens threw one of the Anabaptimergent Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū) into a fiery pit and said ‘this should prepare you for your eternal fate.’ I laughed so hard like Jesus ‘I Wept.'”

And now what you’ve all been waiting for the movie trailer—a montage of film clips from UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist of the army of UltraKens singing, dancing, training for battle in the Truth War and chanting in a non-Contemplative way plus some scenes of them fighting off the Babylonian hordes from Emergent Village:

*- Editors’ Note— In normal Japanese : 

Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū^?) is a Japanese word that means “strange beast,” but often translated in English as “monster”. Specifically, it is used to refer to a genre of tokusatsu entertainment. Related terms include kaiju eiga (怪獣映画, kaijū eiga^?, monster movie), a film featuring kaiju, kaijin (怪人^?, referring to roughly humanoid monsters) and daikaiju (大怪獣, daikaijū^?, giant monster), specifically meaning the larger variety of monsters. The most famous kaiju is Godzilla. Other well-known kaiju include Mothra, Anguirus, Rodan, Gamera and King Ghidorah. The term ultra-kaiju is short-hand for monsters in the Ultra Series.

In Yapaknees (a language derived from combining Japanese with Discernmentalese):

Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū) is a Yapaknees word that means “strange Emerging Emergent beast,” but often translated in English as “Emergent monster from the Babylonian hordes” or more simply “Emerging Emergent heretic.” Most Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū) are thought to come from Emergent Village. Two of the most famous kaiju are Tony Jones whose true form is a reptilianoid-type creature  and Doug Pagitt whose true form is a dragonoid-type creature—both featured in the new Discernmentalist Blockbuster Summer movie  UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist. (Source: New World Order Book Encyclopedia-the Discernmentalist Encyclopedia).

How To Spot A Grace-Hating Anabaptist Heretic In Your Church

Typical Anabaptists/Baptists minus the pitchforks, horns and tails. Photo of an actual Baptist Cult Coven Church service taking place just before they immerse new converts in foul smelling waters after walking down the aisle to the Altar to “make a decision to ask Christ Satan into their hearts;” then drink the blood of the dead as well  as steal other peoples’ money to give to the poor. Evilness—sheer evilness! Photo courtesy of Satan.

Finally we’ve nailed that idiot and a farce of a wannabe heretic and fake Christian, Ben Currin aka TheoPoet in the midst of supporting heresy:

Clearly these individuals are deluded not only that they are “unregenerate unsaved reprobates” not to be fellowshipped with as they aren’t even “Real Christians” like us as our Pure Doctrines attest:

“The Anabaptists (Baptists) are only mentioned by name twice, but…they had revived all the ancient heresies about the Holy Trinity and the Person of Christ…. Many of them were Pelagians…. Others claimed that, being regenerate, they were unable to commit sin…. Some depreciated all Scripture and placed themselves above even the Moral Law…. Some denied any need of ordination for Ministers, and claimed that the efficacy of all ministrations depended on the personal holiness of the Minister…. Infant baptism was denied…. All church discipline was repudiated…. Many held strange views about the descent into hell, the nature of the resurrection — and the future life, the ultimate salvation of all men, and millenarianism….. The authority of the State was impugned, and communism demanded.”

We know this is exactly what that idiot False Convert TheoPoet teaches and that he is secretly a “sectarian landmarkist” who hates our Pure Doctrines just look at the description of his apostate Blog:

“TheoPoetic Musings: RANDOM THEOLOGICAL THOUGHTS FROM AN ECUMENICAL POSTMODERN RADICAL REFORMED ARMINIAN NEO-ORTHODOX BARTHIAN MODERATE PROGRESSIVE TO LIBERAL BAPTIST PERSPECTIVE (OH AND SOME POETRY AND LYRICS,TOO) “—if that doesn’t smack of Pure Evil and divisive sectarianism then you must be “spiritually blind” and of the devil as well. Anyone who calls themself a Baptist, an Anabaptist or both or even says anything slighty positive about these “obstinate pig-dogs” should have their very salvation called into question. We Know that Spurgeon (a TrulyReformed Baptist Landmarkist Calvinist Christian) never had anything positive to say about Baptists nor Anabaptists as he believed and taught nothing but our Pure Doctrines. Anyone who is an Anabapist/Baptist is by default wrong as only We have the right to claim True Theology and True Church History:

P. S. Remember anyone who doesn’t bow down before our Pure Doctrines are the divisive ones not us. 

P. P. S. This article is 1000% Ken Silva-approved.