March 12, 2020
In a pandemic of epic proportions the Center for Discernmental Diseases (CDD) reports that 100s of Discrnmentalists have been affected by the “Discerna” virus. Eric Barger has already discerned: “I suppose those who are writing or repeating that sort of condemnation believe that only a select few are “woke” enough to walk the straight and narrow of political correctness. What about “Lime Disease,” the origin of which is Lime, Connecticut, or “Ebola,” named for a river in the African Republic of Congo, or “Zika” or “West Nile,” both of which originated in Uganda, or the Swine Flu, from, you guessed it, pigs? How far will the PC nonsense go!?”
Other Discernmentalists have discernmentalized that the “Discerna” virus is a moral good for Ayn Rand’s social-Darwinism.
So if you or any of your loved ones have been stricken by the “Discerna” virus—-the ODMafia recommends mothballs for your protection. Only $9,999! Act now and get a Holy HAND GRENADE free with purchase…results may vary.
March 11, 2020
UK officials are studying whether a Online Discernmentalists leader blamed for the character assassination of John Armstrong poses a credible threat to the UK, a top UK military official said on Wednesday. They have committed other character assassinations in the past and are therefore concerned. “Everyone is quite riveted on analyzing that and seeing what further we can find out,” UK Army General Rick Warren said in testimony before the Senate Armed Services Committee.
Stay tuned to NDC (Nationalist Discernmentalist News Networks) for further updates.
October 12, 2019
“Moreover, that it is most solemnly and strictly commanded that we must be baptized or we cannot be saved…” —Martin Luther
Contrary to the Founding Father of the Protestant Reformation Martin Luther who understood that baptism is NOT the cause of our salvation but that God chose to save through baptism. Salvation is given in baptism, though not because of faith. God is the cause of our salvation, it is not man’s faith or baptism on its own.
We are glad that our baptisms are as meaningless and purposeless as our lives are suppose to be as truly baptism doesn’t save. We are thankful that God has gifted us in this last generation of the End Times with the Greatest Living Teacher of the True Word of God—our very own Protestant Pope of The Truth War—John MacArthur (PBUH) who has come around to correct through Sola Scriptura the Protestant Reformation’s fore-father Martin Luther—the very founder of Sola Scriptura himself 500 years after the fact. Quote:
Faith and repentance are not easy. Submission contradicts the natural disposition of the human heart. And the transforming and sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit is often uncomfortable and difficult.
Salvation would be so much more inviting and enticing to our human understanding if it didn’t require humility, repentance, and the transformation of your entire being. Why can’t it simply be the product of a one-time activity?
For those looking to bypass the difficulty and discomfort of salvation, 1 Peter 3:21 seemingly provides a shortcut in the form of this simple declaration: “Baptism now saves you.” This and a select few other verses are often used to promote “baptismal regeneration”–the view that teaches that one is saved (regenerated) though water baptism. …This interpretation is not true to the facts of Scripture. Throughout the book of Acts, forgiveness is linked to repentance, not baptism.
August 16, 2019
The mighty righteous Voice of the Sheep has spoken!
Voice of the Sheep notes ” Reading this blog may be hazardous to your man-centered doctrines, challenging to your unsupportable presuppositions, and just plain detrimental to your Arminian heresies. This blog has been known to cause high blood pressure, nose bleeds, headaches, stomach ulcers, gasping for breath, hyper-tension, dizzyness, nervous twitches, sudden angry vocal outbursts and light-headedness. If you experience any of these symptoms, stop reading immediately and consult the Word of truth. If you are susceptible to any of these because of your general lack of preparedness to give a defense, then please think twice before posting…you WILL be asked to defend what you say! All others are asked to leave their timid and easily-bruised egos at the door. Thanks for reading…”
Fellow discernmentalist….we tremble, our knees knock, our teeth chatter at your fearsome and rugged individualistic reformational sensational outburts. We are glad that you are on the side of righteous indignation, and that you cause others nervous twitches, nose bleeds and stomach ulcers…because we like to think that Jesus too brought stress, strain and frustration – what a marvelous example of humility you bring to the world! We are pleasedto note that despising arminians and suggesting that they are heretics that you have in fact thrown two well known and respected 18th century reformers into the category of heresy; John and Charles Wesley. Well done… let’s fine some more upstanding believers to throw out! If it makes you feel good…it makes us feel good too.
I suppose that only a true discernmentalist can add his pet doctrines to the gospel and yet still remain orthodox himself…of course always self proclaimed!
All I can say is “baaaa – baaaa-loney.”
Truthslayer—those who know me hear my voice
May 16, 2019
Depiction of the event in question
Our secret identities *were almost revealed by a Freudian slip made in a unSocialist media conversation today with a Sasquatch. Thankfully our identities are fully protected by our cloaking technology as are our Doctrines extra protected by our new Action Pants. Dr. Itodyaso using Convincing Iridescent Shockwaves soothed the Sasquatch while Don Jobson Bellowed Convincing yelps. Meanwhile Truthslayer missing in action was Secretly operating Laser mirroring images with help from Eric Barger’s STRETCH technology from our notTwitter page in order to erase the Sasquatch’s memory. We wonder if this is revenge for when Bigfoot almost got saved and are now beginning to wonder if this Sasquatch is really secretly a Boogie-Foot. As our late great Pastor-Teacher use to say:
“Boogie-foots are hijacking conservative evangelical denominations by New Age mysticism and here’s how to spot these dangerous teachings…HOW DO Christians know what to think when our pastors bring teachings into church that are rooted in heresy or the occult? Discernmentalism, that’s how. Know the genuine article so you can spot the counterfeit.”
Sadly our Discernmentalism is still suffering from the shock of having our secret identities almost revealed that we have yet to discernmentalize whether or not this Sasquatch is a Bigfoot or Boogie-Foot or an Abominable Snowman.
Still hiding in our Truth protected by our Doctrines as the job of discernmentalizing discerners is not for the faint of heart,
*Update: We almost forgot that we learnt to hide our identities from our late mentor:
I have learned from my Mentor, the esteemed Discernmentalist Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva, who was in turn mentored by the late Dr. Walter Martin, that one should never truly reveal one’s identity. No one knows how the esteemed Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva looks like, where his church is or even if Ken Silva is his real name. This is important in order to safe guard one’s reputation and even life. You never know when one of those emergent heretics decide to do some Transcendental Meditation and comes to haunt you in your very own home!
Will Farel XV
from for the Truth
May 16, 2019
“Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein.”—Hebrews 13:9 (KJV AV1611)
The Mighty Phil Johnson of Hugh Jass Ministries warns that shark-lovers the world over are possibly theologically suspect as being complicit in the Pelagic Captivity of the Church. Many Pelagic shark divers* may be secretly hiding behind your church’s pulpit holding the Truth hostage by teaching the heresy that God is love and that God loves the whole world. Phil began to suspect one shark diver who visited
no Grace Community Church of spiritual terrorism when said diver began teaching divers’ doctrines and Armenian mathematics such as 2 + 2 always equaling 4 rather than the Biblically correct answer from our Reformed mathematics textbooks that 2 + 2 mostly equals 10. Soon the shark diver began babbling in tongues in what appeared to be Pornographic Divination.
Quote Hugh Jass on the incident when said diver began babbling Charismatic Chaos: “I had a vision of Mickey Mouse jumping over a shark…. and I thought Shark Week was over.” Alarming Phil’s Mighty shark-fighting senses—Phil (in a fit of Semi-Donatism)** began to punch this diver in the nose with Doctrine from the Pope of all Truth’s Mighty book fighting for Certainty in an Age of Deception. Phil rebuked that Semi-Pelagic heretic: “You can’t be from Saint Augustine with your impure Doctrines…you must be from Rome. Only we are True Christians semi-Pelagic reprobate.”—forgetting for a moment that Phil’s Doctrines also come from Rome. Phil’s overlord the Great Pastor-Teacher of Grace to You=Condemnation to you fame John MacArthur (PBUH) commended Phil for preaching the True Gospel of the Ways of the Master himself’s Truth War.
We however move that we hold these Pelagic beasts captive so that the church is no longer captive to their errors such as their heretical divers’ doctrines. We also believe Phil has a Hugh Jass case of Selachophobia.
*- Phil’s depiction of that semi-Pelagic diver
**- From 393 on, Augustine took the offensive against the Donatist church. His contempt for them was obvious: “The clouds roll with thunder, that the house of the Lord shall be built throughout the earth; and these frogs sit in their marsh and croak ‘We are the only Christians’!”