Ladies, Gentleman, and Underlings, we knew that the fallout from the Rob Bell heretical view of non-hell was going to undermine the truth of scripture and lead many astray (sorry for the lack of grammatical clarity but we are so upset over this news we can’t use punctuation properly) but never did we imagine the magnitude of the fallout. Nor did we imagine the swiftness in which the Devil was going to lead people astray. Nor did we think that our leadership would fall.
What’s the big news?
Hold on to your phylacteries, bathe in holy water, hide the eyes of the innocent, and prepare the millstones: R.C. Sproul (a.k.a second in charge [behind John McArthur PBUH] of calvinist
dogma doctrine) says GOD IS IN HELL! I wish we could say that we are making this up, we wish that we could say that there was some confusion of intent, we wish that we could say wait until the book comes out but we can’t. The truth is that R.C. Sproul believes firmly that GOD IS IN HELL based on this excerpt from his upcoming book “The place of God’s Disfavor”.
The problem with hell is not simply the absence of God’s graciousness. It is the presence of God that is so difficult. God is present in hell because He is omnipresent. The psalmist declares, “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there” (Ps. 139:7-8). If God is everywhere in His being, then certainly He is in hell as much as He is anywhere else. The problem, then, is what He is doing there. He’s there in His judgment. He is there in His punitive wrath. He is present in hell as the One who executes His justice on those who are there. That’s why I say that anyone who is in hell would most want God, more than anyone else, to leave.
Rob Bell says there is no Hell. R.C. Sproul says God is in Hell. What next? God is Dead? Only God knows…well…and us. After all we are discermentalists!
Taking off where Senator McCarthy should have left alone, we welcome McCarthy Ministries in full partnership with ODMafia. We also believe they if we suspect you of ‘red’ you are probably spiritually dead as well. In fact the only good commie is a dead commie.
How do we define commie?
1) You criticize capitalism
2) You criticize corporations
3) You think sharing your possessions is biblical.
4) You believe that Christians should be socially engaged in aiding the poor.
5) You are not troubled by the word ‘social’ in a sentence.
6) You believe that some form of universal health care could be beneficial.
If you detect any one of these attributes in ministry, friend, family or enemy REPORT them to us at once so that we might discernmentalize them immediately. Remember, we have FOURformidable foes battling the church today; Islam, Emergents, people who use candles in worship and Commies (remember this is absolute biblical truth). We must do our do diligence and fight these enemies. Remember, our weapons are of flesh and blood, in name calling and verbal attacks!
Stay with me friends…we must fight!