November 8, 2019
Now you too can get Rich and own a Private Jet just like John the Baptist taught us. Having perused said book our Research Robot Monkeys were quickly slain in the Spirit and began babbling nonsense since Benny Hinn refused to heel them. Send us money or you’ll burn. Sadly now we won’t be able to learn the secret to get more money and prosper. Please send us money. Buy our stuff for the chance that you might; possibly; maybe someday eventually get healed or one of our robots might get re-heeled. Hand over the cash now. On a related note thanks to all you suckers out there’s donations Dr. Itodyaso will soon change his name to #1 Christian Genius Gold-swimming Trillionaire in honor of a hero of our Hero! Buy our stuff—we take cash; checks; money orders; credit cards; travelers’ checks; savings bonds; silver; gold; jewels; etc. So send us money and help us help you find out how to get rich today!!!!
May 15, 2019
Breaking from Bigfooted Americans Gazette: Bear attacks Miss Bigfoot USA’s husband after learning Donald Bigfoot Trump personally endorsed her husband for a government position and bragging about grabbing Miss Bigfeet USA by the hoohees. Bigfooted cops believe this attack was orchestrated by Anonymous Bigfooted Trump Haters who used ANTIFA to recruit this bear. Investigations are still being done on whether or not ANTIFA is responsible for this attack or not but Bigfooted watchbloggers have already placed all blame on them without evidence.
May 14, 2019
The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) exposed as weak gutless grace wimpy girliemen as per our Clear Teachings that all Truly Biblical manly-men have beards. In fact we’re beginning to question the Spine of their doctrines as they claim to teach gender distinction but are all clean shaven men. Where does such thinking come from? Where is the consistency when it is taught women have to dress like women and know their place but men can claim “christian liberty” when it comes to shaving off the God given mark of masculinity.
Only spineless Evanjellyfish would shave their beards off—now we all know Spurgeon the Prince of Preachers had a beard that’s why his Doctrines were so Pure as did Calvin. Luther once had a beard but had a lapse of judgment and shaved it off—if only he had followed Calvin’s example when he started the Protestant Reformation when Calvin was only 8 years old. We believe that’s why he erred in attacking our Truth that Calvin’s teachings are the most important teachings in all of Church History as any True Reformer would like John MacArthur (PBUH)*:
It is recorded that Luther later said that Calvin was “educated, but strongly suspected of the error of the Sacramentarians.” That is, that Calvin did not believe the same things regarding the Lord’s Supper as the Lutheran Reformers.
In this it appears that in Luther’s grand biography Calvin does not receive a great deal of mention. For Luther, Calvin would appear perhaps as a footnote.
How can the CBMW expect to stop the GLBT hordes if they refuse to follow the Bible’s Clear Teachings that all True and Godly manly-men have beards?
In our current culture, the progressive trends of gender confusion and transgenderism is all the more reason we should uphold the biblical picture of a masculine man by having beards to stand separated from the pagan culture of today.
Thankfully you have True Bible-based ministries like ours with the Spines and beards to prove it to help protect you in the Purity of our facial hair—and the Sound Doctrines of the Ways of the Master himself which teach Absolute Biblical Truth in his book The Truth War: Fighting for Certainty in an Age of Deception from the spineless beardless GLBT Evanjellyfish agenda slipping into our churches.
November 27, 2010
We at ODMafia are BLACK FRIDAY ready. Discernmentalists traditionally ignore consumerism, capitalism or anything else that would undermine the America Way of Life….and this is with good reason. A true discernmentalist believes that the American Way of Life is the Christian Way of Life. To say one is to accept the other and vice-versa. That is why we have introduced SAFE-BUY. It is a credit card made by discernmentalists for discernmentalists.
The card, carefully engineered will prevent you from buying purchases that could cause you to become a heretic or a liberal. In the event that you mistakenly try to buy NOOMA DVD’s the card will red-flag this purchase and the cashier will be instructed to slap you in the face. Instead you will be directed to purchase bible-believing DVD’s that help you to fear, worry and fret. In addition, you will learn how misquoting speakers will give you impressions that almost everyone in the church is a heretic, giving you the gnostic impression – you and only you have an side track on all things false.
Moreover, discernmentalist DVD’s will help to shape a cartoon, binary universe that will ensure that only those who say “Bible Believing” are the only ones telling the truth. Remember, discenrmentalist DVD’s don’t use the dodgy marketing techniques that other false ministries use, rather only the biblically righteous methods.
Remember this card is patriotic!
PS this card will provide absolute certainty