McCarthy Ministries has done it again. They’ve caught Bible Monkey in the midst of “Pinkness” which is practically Red for all of our paranoid purposes. McCarthy Ministries has also drawn up a list of character traits to be suspect of:
A new era of ministry is expected to unfold with this BOLD invention says iTodyaso, head of Online Discernment Researchmentalism and Design! This incredible piece of discernment hardware will take truth warriors to a place where truth warriors have attempted to go before. Fellow warriors will take contempt to a whole new level; it is the difference between a lit match and a nuclear explosion under the control of a mighty bible warrior. Enmity, strife & hate can be magnified into righteous indignation at the drop of a hate hat, or the flick of a switch. Remember, this device can be used in conjunction with fear, circular arguments & leaps of logic. Keep in mind DonJobson has been secretly using this for weeks under careful observation and clinical trials before this device was released to the public.
Soon ODMs all over the planet will use this device to heap judgment on anyone who gets in OUR way of the truth.
PS remember, judgment over mercy!
Dr. I. Todyaso underwent Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery earlier today in order to increase our Heresy Hunting efficiency by 300% more than the average rate of other ODMs especially Ken Silva’s Raw Sewage Ministries. If Dr. I. Todyaso’s surgery goes well the rest of the Online Discernmentalist Mafia hope to follow suit bringing our Heresy Hunting accuracy to over 1000%. This new Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery will also help in our preaching the Gospel of God’s Law and Wrath to all—pictured here:
Discernmentalist after undergoing Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery threatens an Emergent heretic with the Gospel of God’s Law and Wrath and Hell.
We’ll also be able to teach Discernmentalist skills such as Self Righteousness to a wider range audience:
And in the end our army of Discernmentalists after undergoing Cybernetic Heresy Hunting Surgery will be able to bring Doomsday upon all that we deem heretical:
Using Eric Barger’s STRETCH and Revisionist Technology and Todd Friel’s Subliminal Brainwashing microwaves Ken Silva and his loyal band of Discernmentalists have found a way to hit the Preteen/Tween and Teenage television markets. The first of their fruits is:
Weekends at 9:30AM
All times ET/PTThat’s So Discernmentalist is a new live-action situation comedy starring Raven (formerly credited as Raven-Symone, The Cosby Show) as Reagan “Marxist” Basher, a winsome Capitalist-loving teen whose ability to glimpse flashes of the future and know all through perfect osmosis cause trouble whenever she meets Emergent and Red-Letter Christians. Helping her out (or sometimes into) these predicaments are her best friends Eddie Silva and Chelsea Barger, whose loyalty can be counted on whether Reagan’s escapades involve hilarious disguises, hostile government overthrows of corporations by God’s Only Inerrant/Republican Party, exploitation, discernmentalism or a hint of danger. Allowing her flights of fancy — yet eager to keep her feet on the ground — are Reagan’s parents, Victoria and Todd “Emergent” Basher. And then there’s precocious kid brother Cory, who is both an annoyance and invaluable resource to his big sis. Cory not only idolizes Final President Reagan and Capitalism, but the love of money is his total root motivation with all his wacky “get rich quick” business schemes. Watch with the whole family and learn these Discernmentalist values: arrogance, greed, haughtiness, Capitalist Materialism, divisionism, knowing by osmosis, condescending selfishness, avarice, revisionism, strawman arguments, how to listen to only yourself when you yell and scream at your opponents and much much more…©GOIP ProductionsLength: 00:23
Genre: Children, Sitcom, Comedy
Original Airdate: 2003+7/10