New From ODM/Acme C.O. Products….

May 3, 2019

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Act now for self-satisfaction guaranteed—still not convinced…take a look at these before and after pics which speak for themselves:

smugnessBuy it now to join our self-satisfied consuming SMUG ALLDAY Discernmentalist family!! 100% Discernmentalist guaranteed 100% of the time all day everyday so buy it now or you’re an apostate.


The Silva Bullet!

April 27, 2019

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Introducing the long lost last film to star our dearly departed affectionate Uncle and Pastor-Teacher the ever-Apprising Ken Silva: SILVA BULLET.  A Aperising Pictures  Production of Apprising Films recently relocated—found safely hidden within our super secret archives deep within the bowels of our secret lair: the Truth Bunker.  Now newly remastered with help from GOIP Productions and including a special Anime version of Ken’s life and commentary by our very own Dr. I. Todyaso.

Tagline: “You’ll laugh…you’ll cry…you’ll be thoroughly “Apprised!” 

Summary— SILVA BULLET begins with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher (Ken Silva) having to discernmentalize between two emerging werewolf cases. Now  there are two categories of emerging werewolf cases; ‘false’ or Emerging Disorder cases and Genuine emerging cases:

  • Emerging Disorder is a mental condition in which the subject (called Emergent) believes that he or she is a emerging Christian. The subject does not actually change shape, but is nevertheless capable of being as dangerous as an actual werewolf. Most cases of supposed werewolfry are really the works of emerging victims.
  • Emerging TO BEAST In real werewolves a physical change to wolf form does occur. The change can be voluntary (at will), or can be forced by certain cycles of post-modernistic beliefs and certain songs (ie not ones approved by Apprising Ministries).
  • WEREWOLVES & EMERGING Werewolves are immune from Apprising Ministries and from most physical diseases due to the constant regeneration of their physical tissue. They can, therefore, be virtually immortal. However, they can be killed by a “Silva Bullet” carefully aimed at an Emerging Church member’s heart.

Non-emerging werewolves who have been mistaken for Emerging (ie Rob Bell) are said also to be immune to most physical diseases. It is suspected though that Rick Warren could be a vampire however, thanks to our discernmentalism we do not need hard evidence…we can peer into his mind if we concentrate hard enough to reveal his obvious vampirism or wolfery. The film ends with our hero Uncle Pure Teacher trying to “apprise” all the werewolves with his “Silva Bullet” until he succeeds in his mission of taking out the Super Emerging Werewolf: Brian McLaren—bringing an end to the Emerging/Emergent Church once and for all.

This film is 100% ODMafia and Truthslayer endorsed and meets our seal of approval.


Is Franklin Graham Secretly A Sintologist?

April 21, 2019

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Recently our Research Robot Monkeys came upon some disturbing slander information that disturbed us so much that we had to take up our pen to write quality essays of discernmentalism again. Here it goes: is Franklin Graham a Sintologist? We have proofs:

We know that the Church of Scientology tried to recruit Billy Graham: “As far back as 1955, Hubbard recognized the value of famous people to his fledgling, off-beat church when he inaugurated “Project Celebrity.” According to Hubbard, Scientologists should target prominent individuals as their “quarry” and bring them back like trophies for Scientology.

He listed the following people of that era as suitable prey: Edward R. Murrow, Marlene Dietrich, Ernest Hemingway, Howard Hughes, Greta Garbo, Walt Disney, Henry Luce, Billy Graham, Groucho Marx and others of similar stature.

“If you bring one of them home you will get a small plaque as a reward,” Hubbard wrote in a Scientology magazine more than three decades ago.”

The Grahams being the apostates they are—are guilty by association for being ecumenical against our clear teachings with the perverted Scientology cult: “”They are a class act,” he said of the couple. “She has traveled with me and Samaritan’s Purse to North Korea, Sudan, Iraq, Cambodia, Vietnam, Burma, Haiti, and other places over the years, and she has always used her position to try to help people in need. She has also come to Alaska to visit and encourage our wounded veterans and their spouses on numerous occasions. We are deeply grateful to this incredibly generous and gracious individual. She is a professional with integrity. I look forward to seeing where Greta will go in this new chapter of her life.” Graham also encouraged fans to follow Van Susteren‘s Facebook page to “see what will come next.” Van Susteren joined Fox in 2002 after more than a decade as a legal analyst at CNN. She will be replaced, starting today, by senior political analyst Brit Hume, the network said.  The news anchor and her husband, who wed in 1988, both adhere to Scientology, a controversial religion founded by American science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard which “seeks self-knowledge and spiritual fulfillment through graded courses of study and training.” Despite their religious differences, both Franklin Graham and his father, renowned evangelist Billy Graham, have referred to Coale and Van Susteren as “close friends.” The elder Graham has also expressed admiration for Coale’s strength and courage in his book, “The Reason For My Hope.””

  • He’s too soft in not promoting our Truth War Doctrines
  • Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) once took a stand against Billy
  • Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass already dscernmentalized: ” Franklin Graham was “shocked” (shocked!) to find that his organization’s web site had a page labeling Scientology as a “cult.” They took the page down, and it’s down for good. Why?”

This is why we  had to bring back our humble Gospel Coalition and take a stand against Franklin’s slide into the apostasy of Sintology. Repent of your abominations heretics. We ask you what would our illustrious most Holy most Inerrant Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) do? We leave you these words of our Truth Wars from Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer: “I’m all for anyone leaving the so called Church of Scientology. It IS a cult. However, Paul Haggis says his reason for leaving the church is their support of Prop. 8. That would be one of the very few reasons I support this church. Homosexuals and homosexuality need to go back in the closet. They should NOT be proud of themselves. Homosexuality is a reprehensible sin. A lot of you will complain and call me names. I don’t care. I KNOW that YOU are the sinners, NOT ME!!!”

In the great love of our merciful Sovereign God of unsatisfied Wrath,

Pastor I.Todyaso


For The Discernmentalist On The Go….

April 18, 2019

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Introducing an all New Action Pants©™ for the discriminating Discernmentalist consumer! Our all New Action Pants©™ are  Chuck Norris endorsed; Truthslayer approved; OdMafia backed. Every pair of our all New Action Pants©™  are: made with Maximum doctrinal protection… Stretch Technologyextreme comfort… good for  roundhousing the bedevil out of liberals; heretics; postmodern apostates; anti-Trumpers; pacifists; gays; vegans; Canadians; Muslims; mooses; meeses; garbonzo beans; Antifa; abortionists; commies; SJWs; feminazis; Hollywood; signs; TVs; and all others who stand against our Pure Doctrines or all your money belongs to us back guaranteed. Act now: Only $99.95 plus $33s/h plus a  $7555 surcharge. Shut up and give us all your money! Your bank accounts  belong to us now.. Suckas!


The Heart Of The Discernmentalist Gospel

November 2, 2010

Most of you are going to hell because you were not specially chosen and frozen like We God’s Truth Biblical Elect (Calvinazis) are—so quake now in mortal fear and terror at the horrors that await ye, reprobates, especially if you are Roman Catholic, Arminian, a Pentecostal tongue-babbler, Emergent, queer or even worse all of the above:

P.S. Hell is a “real place” so We’d hate to be all of you reprobates (non-Calvinazis) on the day that you die so remember We tried to lovingly warn you by the Absolute Truth of our Pure Doctrines which have saved Us from an eternity in flames.

P. P. S. This is also warning to Pastorboy aka (Name withheld upon request) to get back in line with our Pure Doctrines.


Precious American Gospel Bible Verses

July 26, 2010

Any True Christian American Patriot and True Citizen of the Kingdom of God aka America should keep these Bible verses as close to their hearts as their guns and ammunition:

For Christ came to butcher, destroy, bomb and burn our enemies so that they may die more violently. (John MacArthur 10:10).

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is long-suffering to us-ward, and is willing that all our enemies should perish, so that America may stand forever. (Second Peter Ruckman 3:9).

 For we know Him who said, “VENGEANCE IS OURS TO REPAY.” And again, “AMERICA WILL JUDGE ALL PEOPLE.” sayeth the Lord. (Bob “Hebrews” Jones 10:30).

But I tell you: Hate your enemies and pray an Imprecatory Prayer that God through American Military Might might smite as many of them as possible. (Matthew Ken Silva 5:44).

—All Scriptures  quoted from the 1611 King James Bible the Authorized American Version aka Chuck Norris’ Bible.


Ken Silva Is UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist!

July 22, 2010

 

Ken Silva and his Internet Para-Church of the True Remnant star in UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist the newest comedic Sci-Fi Discernmentalist smash hit and Blockbuster of the Summer! Fresh and straight from the creators of Full Mental Jack-@ss. Ken Silva as UltraKen leads his Internet Para-Church of the True Remnant: the Ultra-Discernmentalist Mafia as they sing, they dance and chant in a non-Contemplative way and most importantly they fight off the Babylonian hordes from Emergent Village. Watch as UltraKen and his army of loyal Truth Warriors the Ultra-Discernmentalists take on the evil reptilianoid Tony Jones, the equally evil dragonoid Doug Pagitt and the rest of the Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū)* from the Babylonian hordes of Emergent Village.

UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist features a special guest appearance by Chris Rosebrough of Pirate Radio playing the role of Spider-Pirateman. UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist coming soon this Summer to a theater near you. Itodyaso raves: “UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist contains over 40 times more Ken Silva than either Apprising Ministries or Christian Research Network!” Truthslayer exclaims: “Stupendous!” “A True Biblically Based comedic thrill-ride,” says Arthur McJohn; “my favorite part is when one of the UltraKens threw one of the Anabaptimergent Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū) into a fiery pit and said ‘this should prepare you for your eternal fate.’ I laughed so hard like Jesus ‘I Wept.'”

And now what you’ve all been waiting for the movie trailer—a montage of film clips from UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist of the army of UltraKens singing, dancing, training for battle in the Truth War and chanting in a non-Contemplative way plus some scenes of them fighting off the Babylonian hordes from Emergent Village:

*- Editors’ Note— In normal Japanese : 

Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū?) is a Japanese word that means “strange beast,” but often translated in English as “monster”. Specifically, it is used to refer to a genre of tokusatsu entertainment. Related terms include kaiju eiga (怪獣映画, kaijū eiga?, monster movie), a film featuring kaiju, kaijin (怪人?, referring to roughly humanoid monsters) and daikaiju (大怪獣, daikaijū?, giant monster), specifically meaning the larger variety of monsters. The most famous kaiju is Godzilla. Other well-known kaiju include Mothra, Anguirus, Rodan, Gamera and King Ghidorah. The term ultra-kaiju is short-hand for monsters in the Ultra Series.

In Yapaknees (a language derived from combining Japanese with Discernmentalese):

Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū) is a Yapaknees word that means “strange Emerging Emergent beast,” but often translated in English as “Emergent monster from the Babylonian hordes” or more simply “Emerging Emergent heretic.” Most Kaiju (怪獣, kaijū) are thought to come from Emergent Village. Two of the most famous kaiju are Tony Jones whose true form is a reptilianoid-type creature  and Doug Pagitt whose true form is a dragonoid-type creature—both featured in the new Discernmentalist Blockbuster Summer movie  UltraKen: The Ultra-Discernmentalist. (Source: New World Order Book Encyclopedia-the Discernmentalist Encyclopedia).


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