PSA: Jesus’ Disciples were neither Female nor Gentile

December 1, 2019

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And we wonder why young people are leaving the church?
So the women who announced/preached to the disciples that Jesus was risen where wrong?
As were the many women who had house churches mentioned in Acts and the Epistles?
I don’t think so.

You are correct in one thing…people are leaving the church because they don’t want to hear the word of God rightly preached and told they are sinners.

Jesus had 12 men for Apostles (no woman) and the Holy Spirit used men only to write the New Testament (no women). Yes a women was the first to proclaim the risen Lord because women are not excluded from evangelism. Please refer to the Pauline letters about women teachers and leaders. People are leaving the Church because there is no power displayed due to the watering down and the compromise of the Gospel! Just because a woman is not allowed to teach (except to other woman and children) does not make them inferior in any way, they are the equal to men in the Lord. The lord has set a template for the running and execution of His will within His church, not your Church nor my Church but His Church!

imagesThere you go that settles it—though we must rebuke “Truth will set you free” for his incomplete Discernmentalism. Why stop there? Why not take it further—as we’ve already pointed out on God’s Only Inerrant Party that none of Jesus’ disciples were Gentiles—no not one. They were all Jews therefore only Jewish men are truly called to preach. We rebuke anyone who teaches otherwise as our Pope of all Truth John MacArthur (PBUH) is absolutely right but only teaches half of the Truth that will set you free. If ever I walk into a church and see a woman or Gentile at the pulpit I will leave and shake the dust off my feet. Not only that I’ll leave if they fail any point on our Scripture test about who is called to preach.

Forget what our Truth War Pope (PBUH) says—what does the Bible say in that one proof-text we always quote from when this subject always comes up? “I do not allow a woman to teach or have authority over a man.” Is that ambiguous? Am I missing something in the Pastoral letters? Those are the letters that specifically deal with who should do what. No “call” can be authentically from God if it contradicts the Bible. Amen! People need to think and use their brain’s because Paul didn’t say it for no reason. If you keep reading right after that Paul says what he writes are the commandments of the Lord (just don’t read Joel 2:28-29 nor Acts 2:17). It is a commandment that they stay silent and not to teach or use authority over the man. Jesus said if you love me keep my commandments. These women that teach and preach do not love God according to the Bible. Ya what’s the point in reading Gods word if you’re not going to live by it? Paul said the words that I write are the commandments of the Lord. He wrote that a women should be silent in the church and not to teach or use authority over the man. When a women is teaching or preaching its not being silent and it just shows the rest of us that she doesn’t love Christ because Christ said if you love me keep my commandments. The same book that tells her to be silent is the same book God is going to judge her with in the last days.


Is Franklin Graham Secretly A Sintologist?

April 21, 2019

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Recently our Research Robot Monkeys came upon some disturbing slander information that disturbed us so much that we had to take up our pen to write quality essays of discernmentalism again. Here it goes: is Franklin Graham a Sintologist? We have proofs:

We know that the Church of Scientology tried to recruit Billy Graham: “As far back as 1955, Hubbard recognized the value of famous people to his fledgling, off-beat church when he inaugurated “Project Celebrity.” According to Hubbard, Scientologists should target prominent individuals as their “quarry” and bring them back like trophies for Scientology.

He listed the following people of that era as suitable prey: Edward R. Murrow, Marlene Dietrich, Ernest Hemingway, Howard Hughes, Greta Garbo, Walt Disney, Henry Luce, Billy Graham, Groucho Marx and others of similar stature.

“If you bring one of them home you will get a small plaque as a reward,” Hubbard wrote in a Scientology magazine more than three decades ago.”

The Grahams being the apostates they are—are guilty by association for being ecumenical against our clear teachings with the perverted Scientology cult: “”They are a class act,” he said of the couple. “She has traveled with me and Samaritan’s Purse to North Korea, Sudan, Iraq, Cambodia, Vietnam, Burma, Haiti, and other places over the years, and she has always used her position to try to help people in need. She has also come to Alaska to visit and encourage our wounded veterans and their spouses on numerous occasions. We are deeply grateful to this incredibly generous and gracious individual. She is a professional with integrity. I look forward to seeing where Greta will go in this new chapter of her life.” Graham also encouraged fans to follow Van Susteren‘s Facebook page to “see what will come next.” Van Susteren joined Fox in 2002 after more than a decade as a legal analyst at CNN. She will be replaced, starting today, by senior political analyst Brit Hume, the network said.  The news anchor and her husband, who wed in 1988, both adhere to Scientology, a controversial religion founded by American science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard which “seeks self-knowledge and spiritual fulfillment through graded courses of study and training.” Despite their religious differences, both Franklin Graham and his father, renowned evangelist Billy Graham, have referred to Coale and Van Susteren as “close friends.” The elder Graham has also expressed admiration for Coale’s strength and courage in his book, “The Reason For My Hope.””

  • He’s too soft in not promoting our Truth War Doctrines
  • Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) once took a stand against Billy
  • Phil Johnson aka Hugh Jass already dscernmentalized: ” Franklin Graham was “shocked” (shocked!) to find that his organization’s web site had a page labeling Scientology as a “cult.” They took the page down, and it’s down for good. Why?”

This is why we  had to bring back our humble Gospel Coalition and take a stand against Franklin’s slide into the apostasy of Sintology. Repent of your abominations heretics. We ask you what would our illustrious most Holy most Inerrant Pope Pyro I aka John MacArthur (PBUH) do? We leave you these words of our Truth Wars from Tyrone V. Hoofendorfer: “I’m all for anyone leaving the so called Church of Scientology. It IS a cult. However, Paul Haggis says his reason for leaving the church is their support of Prop. 8. That would be one of the very few reasons I support this church. Homosexuals and homosexuality need to go back in the closet. They should NOT be proud of themselves. Homosexuality is a reprehensible sin. A lot of you will complain and call me names. I don’t care. I KNOW that YOU are the sinners, NOT ME!!!”

In the great love of our merciful Sovereign God of unsatisfied Wrath,

Pastor I.Todyaso


Be A Literalist!: Part 2

May 15, 2010

 

 

“I actually do think parts of the Bible are more valuable than others, more inspired than others. In fact, I think that some parts of the Bible have been put aside by the Christian revelation.”—Quote by Cecil Sherman, your typical Anti-Bible Biblically Illiterate unregenerate non-Christian Liberal Baptist apostate reprobated and heathen  heretic

 

Pre-requisites for this course: one must have completed the following courses—our course  on Absolute Truth and our course on Discernmentalist Church History 101 or candidates for this course must at  least have a sufficient and  satisfactory grasp on Discernmentalese: the official jargon that we use around here. Your Discernmentalese must be approved by your official instructors: the esteemed Dr. Truthslayer, the wise Dr. Arthur McJohn, the illustrious Dr. I. Todyaso and yours truly the pithy Dr. Don Jobson. Candidates for this course must have also completed part 1 of our course on Bible Literalism.

Your official instruction: We must think only in binary terms. Everything is black and white, either this or that—there are no in-betweens. Brainiac our field agent for Todd Friel (Wretched) says:

The literal sense is the only honest way to read. Honestly, the literal sense is literally the only honest way to read. If you care what the author said, read literally. If you do not care what the author said, do not bother reading.

We agree as metaphors do not exist in the Discernmentalist Worldview. Everything literally means what it says as long as it doesn’t clash with our Pure Doctrines and even if it does we’ll find some way to spin it literally such as: “Οὕτως γὰρ ἠγάπησεν ὁ Θεὸς τὸν κόσμον, ὥστε τὸν Υἱὸν τὸν μονογενῆ ἔδωκεν, ἵνα πᾶς ὁ πιστεύων εἰς Αὐτὸν μὴ ἀπόληται ἀλλ᾽ ἔχῃ ζωὴν αἰώνιον” doesn’t literally mean “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life”—but literally means that God literally loves and literally only died for the Elect and the Elect only literally.

Eventhough Jesus literally said “This Is My Body” which literally interpreted means exactly what it says that the bread in Communion is literally Jesus’ literal Body, we must take a self-righteous stand in our Truth Wars and come against the Eucharist/Real Presence as it literally has no place in our Pure Bibles. A literal interpretation of  “This Is My Body” literally clashes with the literalness of our Pure Doctrines. John MacArthur told us so and if he says it—it must literally be by default True because anything he literally says he speaks ex cathedra  and all that he speaks is ex cathedra not to mention literally infallible Absolute Truth. However we  Discernmentalists don’t need to appeal to John MacArthur to know that this is literally True. It is literally True because We Say and believe It is literally True.

We Know that in Psalm 137:9 God literally commands us to “take our babies and smash them against the rocks!”—though we literally stand against abortion. We Know that I Timothy 1:9-10 is literally about gay marriage. Everything in the Bible is about our American Gospel and can literally be summed up by our moral stances in Politics. However when Jesus says “Sell all your possessions and give to the Poor and follow Me (Matt. 19:16-26;Luke 12:33-34 and 14:33) ” He doesn’t literally mean that.  We  like the parts of the Bible that fit our Pure Doctrines but ignore the verses that we do not agree with, that do not make us comfortable in our American values and/or do not back up our Discernmentalist Worldview.

Our interpretive lens of the Bible is flawless and therefore Inerrant for the Bible and not Jesus is literally the literal Word of God (John 1:1) as John MacArthur literally states:

Neo-orthodoxy’s attitude toward Scripture is a microcosm of the entire existentialist philosophy: the Bible itself is not objectively the Word of God, but it becomes the Word of God when it speaks to me individually. In neo-orthodoxy, that same subjectivism is imposed on all the doctrines of historic Christianity. Familiar terms are used, but are redefined or employed in a way that is purposely vague—not to convey objective meaning, but to communicate a subjective symbolism. After all, any “truth” theological terms convey is unique to the person who exercises faith. What the Bible means becomes unimportant. What it means to me is the relevant issue. All of this resoundingly echoes Kierkegaard’s concept of “truth that is true for me.”

Thus while neo-orthodox theologians often sound as if they are affirming traditional beliefs, their actual system differs radically from the historic understanding of the Christian faith. By denying the objectivity of truth, they relegate all theology to the realm of subjective relativism. It is a theology perfectly suited for the age in which we live.

And that is precisely why it is so deadly.

This is why we must always interpret the Bible literally except for when it literally disagrees with our Pure Doctrines so take heart fellow Discernmentalists and remember these wise  and literal words of Brainiac:

Be a literalist. Read the Bible literally. If anyone objects, ask him if you should consider his objection literally. Or, you can explain that the Bible is literature, and that there is no other way to read it but literally.


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