Jeff Bezos is D. B. Cooper

April 18, 2020

Untitled

ODM Express File Photo

 

Oh yes, we would like to thank ODM Express for their ‘vigilance’, ‘honest’ investigative reporting, and ‘clarity’, old, ‘unbiased’ news media. Cooper Academy-D.B. Cooper—proof Jeff Bezos is D. B. Cooper… How else do you think he has all that money? The Lamestream media doesn’t want you to know the “Truth”? Wake up! Sheeple! You know who else doesn’t want you to know the “Truth”? Chad Holtz that’s who. Chad as you may not know is a Secret Hindu Agent. Chad also works for Big Amazon and is part of the Amazon ninjas trying to suppress “the Real Truth.”

Chad once thought he got saved by shaking quasi-Universalist Emergence semi-Pelagurite guru Rob Bell’s hand. We also heard he voted for Hillary. Also Amazon carries the “purpose-seeker-driven” books that Chad reads like that semi-pelican sinfully-ecumenical Emergent heretic Rob Bell’s and purpose-drivel shaman Rich Warren’s. Proof that there’s a nefarious conspiracy and hidden feminist political agenda going on. They’re all in on the secret cover-up to hide the “Truth” that Jeff Bezos is D. B. Cooper. And as our former co-Truth Warrior Will Farel XV has said:

Chad Holtz who has been harassing this young man, who share my Divine zeal for the Truth, with his peace mantras.

Let us take a closer look at this “peace” that Chad ends his heretic enabling comments with. Remember those “peace” cries of the hippies? What peace were they talking about? I will tell you. The peace that would invite the Communists like Barak Obama, together with his supporterSpiritual Guru Brian McLaren*, to take over our beautiful Christian United States of America. This same peace is also the theme of John Lennon’s song “Give Peace a Chance”. As we know John Lennon and Yoko Ono were followers of the cult of the Hare Krishna mantra of Hinduism and that was what this song is really about. So here we have Chad shouting peace, peace like a mantra. What should be our conclusion? Chad might also be secret a follower of the Hare Krishna movement!

As you can see my “facts” have been well researchmentalized—believe  me…

Spread the Conspiracy,

Don Jobson


Chad Holtz And Mike Morrell’s Emergent Village Possibly Found

April 19, 2011

Our Research Robot Monkeys recently infiltrated an Emergent Cohort compound and discovered horrible abominations such as couches and candles. In this candle-lit ashram there were a bunch of scantily-clad men and women participating in the usual routine Emergent rituals of nude centering prayer (with much icons, incense, chanting, and apophatic silence). There was a lot of stretching going on and not in a good way. Our Research Robot Monkeys were horrified at all they saw and we are too. All we can say is Beware… Beware the Emergent Hordes and their Seeker-Sensitive Purpose-Driven lives!

Video of a typical Emergent Village pow-wow:


%d bloggers like this: