Our secret identities *were almost revealed by a Freudian slip made in a unSocialist media conversation today with a Sasquatch. Thankfully our identities are fully protected by our cloaking technology as are our Doctrines extra protected by our new Action Pants. Dr. Itodyaso using Convincing Iridescent Shockwaves soothed the Sasquatch while Don Jobson Bellowed Convincing yelps. Meanwhile Truthslayer missing in action was Secretly operating Laser mirroring images with help from Eric Barger’s STRETCH technology from our notTwitter page in order to erase the Sasquatch’s memory. We wonder if this is revenge for when Bigfoot almost got saved and are now beginning to wonder if this Sasquatch is really secretly a Boogie-Foot. As our late great Pastor-Teacher use to say:
“Boogie-foots are hijacking conservative evangelical denominations by New Age mysticism and here’s how to spot these dangerous teachings…HOW DO Christians know what to think when our pastors bring teachings into church that are rooted in heresy or the occult? Discernmentalism, that’s how. Know the genuine article so you can spot the counterfeit.”
Sadly our Discernmentalism is still suffering from the shock of having our secret identities almost revealed that we have yet to discernmentalize whether or not this Sasquatch is a Bigfoot or Boogie-Foot or an Abominable Snowman.
Still hiding in our Truth protected by our Doctrines as the job of discernmentalizing discerners is not for the faint of heart,
*Update: We almost forgot that we learnt to hide our identities from our late mentor:
I have learned from my Mentor, the esteemed Discernmentalist Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva, who was in turn mentored by the late Dr. Walter Martin, that one should never truly reveal one’s identity. No one knows how the esteemed Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva looks like, where his church is or even if Ken Silva is his real name. This is important in order to safe guard one’s reputation and even life. You never know when one of those emergent heretics decide to do some Transcendental Meditation and comes to haunt you in your very own home!
Will Farel XV
fromfor the Truth
Phil Johnson of the mighty Truth Warrior Blog Pyromaniacs the right hand man of the Ways of the Master himself taught us all we know in how to be a Hugh Jass. Phil revealed his Hugh Jass when he made a site to expose all to the truth of King James Onlyism. Just like him we made this Hugh Jass site to expose all to the truth of graceless Discernment ministries like Phil’s mighty Pyromaniacs. We hope we never lose our Hugh Jass or his. All Discernmentalists are required to expose their Hugh Jass. In fact we must humbly thank this Anonymous Emergent Commenter (Name Withheld) on one of our non-Socialist media sites for helping us to bare our Hugh Jass for all the world to see—quote:
“Nah, I see zero moral difference between the *censored for a word Mark Driscoll once used* that writes this outlandish *censored for your mother would be ashamed* to incite outrage, and the *censored for unbiblical cuss word* that post this outlandish *censored for edification* to incite others to be outraged with them.”
This just proves how our Mighty Doctrines save sinners as we now suspect he has converted to our ways of Discernmentalism. In fact we see zero moral difference between Anonymous Emergent Commenter (Name Withheld) that wrote that outlandish comment to incite outrage, and Fox News viewers/Breitbart readers that post similar outlandish comments to incite others to be outraged with them. For example:
Antifa (literally anti-Fascists) are the same as ISIS and actual Fascists for exposing and opposing Fascists
Anti-Racists are the same as Racists ie. Reverse Racists/anti-white for talking about racism and exposing/opposing racists
Or even worse as Paige Patterson said: “The Survivor Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) are as reprehensible as sex criminals.” for being an organization bent on exposing abusers and protecting victims
John Armstrong of ACt3Online Ministries refuses to stop his scathing indictment of Online Discernment Ministries. We are outraged because we KNOW that we are under direct attack for our godly doctrines.
John quotes and twists such verses as “Proverbs 20:19 repeats this statement and then counsels “don’t hang around with chatterers” Here he is strongly DECLARING that people should not listen to Online Discernmentalist Ministries…the REMENANT, the LAST STRONG HOLD who oppose the lies of Roman Catholics and Rob Bell.
He furthers his twisted arguments in this quote “Make no mistake about the conclusion here: gossip is a sin.” and “Where you find jealousy, anger and arrogance you also find gossip, slander and selfishness, and vice versa.” WOW. Did you see how he twisted that? This is what emergent-liberals do – they twist the true word into calling mighty truth warriors gossips and sinners. He appears to insinuating that discernmentalist ministries will devolve into slander, gossip, selfishness, anger and arrogance. How dare he challenge our ministry! If we need to stretch the truth beyond recognition to prove to the world that Rick Warren is a false prophet we will do it because we are “called” to do such hard, often fractious ministry. The remnants shall not be challenged. In fact, we have turned selecting quoting into an artform. This indeed, is the final nail in any coffin: isolate quote, suggest in means “A” when it reall means “B.” This enables us to prove that our said false teacher is indeed false. If we say it – its true. And that is not slander, that is ministerial truth.
Since our partnership with McCarthy Ministries we have been hell-bent on detection of social gospelers, communists, closet commies, universal health-care enthusiasts and people who share their private possessions. Unfortunately far too often communist sympathizers go undetected or worse commie proselytizers are left to wander the streets and eat our food and drink our water. We are shocked and dismayed to find Take A Stand Ministries secretly promoting and peddling socialism while pretending to be a true bible believing ministry. It just makes me ill. It did not take us long to detect RED in his “Take A Stand” logo. He has secretly embedded his socialist message not in his heading but below it to throw off readers (ie to make them feel less threatened by his red faced secret socialist message, slowly undermining the gospel).
We can’t be fooled.
Don’t be fooled either. Remember if its red, its wrong!
PS We have reason to believe that if Take A Stand is “red” they are likely Red Letter Christians and sympathetic to Emergings!
Taking off where Senator McCarthy should have left alone, we welcome McCarthy Ministries in full partnership with ODMafia. We also believe they if we suspect you of ‘red’ you are probably spiritually dead as well. In fact the only good commie is a dead commie.
How do we define commie?
1) You criticize capitalism
2) You criticize corporations
3) You think sharing your possessions is biblical.
4) You believe that Christians should be socially engaged in aiding the poor.
5) You are not troubled by the word ‘social’ in a sentence.
6) You believe that some form of universal health care could be beneficial.
If you detect any one of these attributes in ministry, friend, family or enemy REPORT them to us at once so that we might discernmentalize them immediately. Remember, we have FOURformidable foes battling the church today; Islam, Emergents, people who use candles in worship and Commies (remember this is absolute biblical truth). We must do our do diligence and fight these enemies. Remember, our weapons are of flesh and blood, in name calling and verbal attacks!
Stay with me friends…we must fight!
We would like to welcome Bible Monkey to our Fold. Thanks to our Clear Teachings and expository preaching of John MacArthur’s Truth War Doctrines, Bible Monkey finally decided to embrace our Truth Wars. H0pefully we will soon gently coerce Bible Monkey into bowing down before our Pure Doctrines of John MacArthur’s Truth War but until then we still cannot reconcile with Bible Monkey.
We have high hopes for Bible Monkey though as Bible Monkey already demonstrates the Absolute Biblical Truth of our Pure Doctrines as Bible Monkey is:
- Totally captivated by our Clear Teachings
- Unable to resist sitting under our feet
- Learning to study our Truth War ways
- Irresistably drawn to our expositions of Absolute Gospel Truth
- Perfectly enslaved to our Great Merciful Loving and Graceful God’s Law and Wrath towards sinners
A new era of ministry is expected to unfold with this BOLD invention says iTodyaso, head of Online Discernment Researchmentalism and Design! This incredible piece of discernment hardware will take truth warriors to a place where truth warriors have attempted to go before. Fellow warriors will take contempt to a whole new level; it is the difference between a lit match and a nuclear explosion under the control of a mighty bible warrior. Enmity, strife & hate can be magnified into righteous indignation at the drop of a hate hat, or the flick of a switch. Remember, this device can be used in conjunction with fear, circular arguments & leaps of logic. Keep in mind DonJobson has been secretly using this for weeks under careful observation and clinical trials before this device was released to the public.
Soon ODMs all over the planet will use this device to heap judgment on anyone who gets in OUR way of the truth.
PS remember, judgment over mercy!