Pray To A Plant: Get Saved!

September 24, 2019

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The latest threat against our Gospel of Total Depravity and the taint of Original Sin in all of Creation from the Purpose Seeker Driven Emergence Quasi-Universalist Cult of Liberal Christianity is plant worship. Yes plant worship! How dare these purpose seekers deny the Total Depravity of Creation and the stain of Original Sin in all of nature by confessing their sins in the midst of plants.

Its as if they truly believe that God is everywhere and in all things as per Romans 8:18-30 so:

If we don’t want our churches turning into prayer-halls to shrubs and plants; if we don’t want our children crafting idols out of creation, then we need to make sure that our Bible Colleges have suitable gardeners who are using the right tools. There is only one seed God gives, that is his word as found in the explanations and study notes of  John MacArthur’s Study Bible (PBUI). There is only one seed which produces life, that is bearing mental assent to the Gospel of Calvinistic Soteriology perfectly articulated and accurately proclaimed fully in all of it’s illustrious and glorious points as professed and ascribed by our Pope John MacArthur (PBUH).

Besides that the only idol worthy of our church sanctuaries is the American flag—Sola Gloria to our military might! We should daily be confessing our sins of lapsed Patriotism by tearfully placing our hands upon our hearts and pledging allegiance to our Holy Flag—and mightily thanking our soldiers for invading other people’s countries and defending our freedom to worship.

Anyways we have reason to suspect Rob Bell is behind this latest threat as he already believes shaking hands with the Pope saves you so why not add praying to plants via guilt by association in the growing list of his many heresies.


Lighthouse Trails announces new name! Lighthouse Entrails

September 23, 2019

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Lighthouse Trails has announced an official new name. There are currently no other details available at this time….we believe that if one peruses their website the name change is probably fitting.


Migrants deserve to die declare Extra Super Pro-Life Christians for Torture Camps

September 10, 2019

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“Holding pictures of migrant children who have died in U.S. custody….” How many children died in your town/city today because they had no person caring for them? How many of them were raped? How many of them are sick, drug addicted, waiting for the next person with money to have sex with them?
Hypocrites – you don’t take care of your own and make a spectacle of caring for others who have chosen to break the law?
How many babies have you aborted, piece by piece, cutting them up in the mother’s womb, or sucking them up into a machine? Helps one to feel altruistic when you bring foreigners into it though, eh?

Or maybe it is people being deluded that if they wilfully break the law, someone may care about them for a period, while neglecting those in need in their own country. Smacks of hypocrisy to me, as they have their pictures taken, neglecting young boys on the street being raped.

We here at the ODMafia agree as all these migrants are nothing but law breaking criminals who deserve to be punished for their crimes against humanity in crossing our God-ordained border. Laws such as:

The United States recognizes the right of asylum for individuals as specified by international and federal law. A specified number of legally defined refugees, who are not eligible to apply for asylum from inside the U.S., that have applied for refugee status through the U.N., are admitted annually.

If migrants didn’t want to die then they should’ve stayed behind in their own country or at least have the decency to have chosen to be born in the Only Exceptionally Great Country like Ours instead of their hellhole countries to begin with—they get what they deserve. Millions love our country—millions want to come to our country as they love our way of life—nobody loves these migrant countries nor want to go to them—that should tell you something and why we don’t need them here.  USA…USA…USA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Steve Bannon warns on migrant loving liberal socialist Christians:

Why can’t these liebrals follow good Capitalists like JPII and Saint Ronald Reagan?


Sasquatch almost reveals Secret Identities of Online Discernmentalists behind the Mafia

May 16, 2019

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Depiction of the event in question

Our secret identities *were almost revealed by a Freudian slip made in a unSocialist media conversation today with a Sasquatch. Thankfully our identities are fully protected by our cloaking technology as are our Doctrines extra protected by our new Action Pants. Dr. Itodyaso using Convincing Iridescent Shockwaves soothed the Sasquatch while Don Jobson Bellowed Convincing yelps. Meanwhile Truthslayer missing in action was Secretly operating Laser mirroring images with help from Eric Barger’s STRETCH technology from our notTwitter page in order to erase the Sasquatch’s memory. We wonder if this is revenge for when Bigfoot almost got saved and are now beginning to wonder if this Sasquatch is really secretly a Boogie-Foot. As our late great Pastor-Teacher use to say:

“Boogie-foots are hijacking conservative evangelical denominations by New Age mysticism and here’s how to spot these dangerous teachings…HOW DO Christians know what to think when our pastors bring teachings into church that are rooted in heresy or the occult? Discernmentalism, that’s how. Know the genuine article so you can spot the counterfeit.”

Sadly our Discernmentalism is still suffering from the shock of having our secret identities almost revealed that we have yet to discernmentalize whether or not this Sasquatch is a Bigfoot or Boogie-Foot or an Abominable Snowman.

Still hiding in our Truth protected by our Doctrines as the job of discernmentalizing discerners is not for the faint of heart,

Don Jobson

*Update: We almost forgot that we learnt to hide our identities from our late mentor:

I have learned from my Mentor, the esteemed Discernmentalist Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva, who was in turn mentored by the late Dr. Walter Martin, that one should never truly reveal one’s identity. No one knows how the esteemed Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva looks like, where his church is or even if Ken Silva is his real name. This is important in order to safe guard one’s reputation and even life. You never know when one of those emergent heretics decide to do some Transcendental Meditation and comes to haunt you in your very own home!

Will Farel XV
Hiding from for the Truth


Extra! Extra! Smocking Gun: Pulpit & Pen/Planned Parenthood One and the Same! More Evidence…

May 13, 2019

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It took longer to recharge our Research Robot Monkeys than we thought as we had to recalibrate Eric Barger’s Smocking Gun machine for them to use. Afterwards they stumbled upon this quote attributed to our boogie man George Soros on a highly questionable site run by QAnon members which means it must be authentic and not a manufactured quote that we made up  by ourselves. This proves the smocking guns against Party & Propaganda aka Bulpit and Pen now Planned Pulpithood (PP) that Eric Barger’s machine found since George Soros (Nazi man in picture in his 20s when Soros was around 9 years old at the outbreak of WWII) funds abortionists and crisis actors.

In fact Planned Pulpithood themselves have stated that  George Soros (Nazi man in picture in his 20s when Soros was around 9 years old at the outbreak of WWII) who funds abortionists and crisis actors also funds Evangelicalism and SBC groups of which Planned Pulpithood are a part of. Quote:

Pulpit & Pen (aka now as Planned Pulpithood) has been exposing George Soros’ funding and partnership of Russell Moore and James Riady’s funding of Ligon Duncan. In reality, both Soros and Riady have been funding numerous groups and speakers who are represented at the The Gospel Coalition, Together for the Gospel, and the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission. However, much of their funding is “Dark Money” contributions that come not directly from Soros or Riady, but from a series of “foundations” (sometimes the cash goes through nearly a dozen foundations before it reaches institutions like SBTS, TGC, the ERLC or RTS).

We also now have reason to suspect that George Soros (Globalist Billionaire) funded the people that inserted liberal unbiblical Bible verses such as these into our Pure Bibles:

  • “Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, and please the widow’s cause,” (Isaiah 1:17).
  • “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8).
  • “But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and every herb, and neglect justice and the love of God. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others,” (Luke 11:42).

Is their anything Planned Pulpithood via George Soros (Globalist Billionaire)’s funding will do to destroy the purity of Doctrines? I’m sure also that George Soros (Globalist Billionaire) funded the internet to fabricate pro-Social Justice quotes by Luther and Calvin as well.

“After the devil there is no greater human enemy on earth than a miser and usurer, for he desires to be above everyone. Turks, soldiers, and tyrants are also evil men, yet they must allow the people to live . . . ; indeed, they must now and then be somewhat merciful. But a usurer and miser—belly desires that the entire world be ruined in order that there be hunger, thirst, misery, and need so that he can have everything and so that everyone must depend upon him and be his slave as if he were God.” “Daily the poor are defrauded. New burdens and high prices are imposed. Everyone misuses the market in his own willful, conceited, arrogant way, as if it were his right and privilege to sell his goods as dearly as he pleases without a word of criticism.” “He who has nothing to live should be aided. If he deceives us, what then? He must be aided again.” —Luther on Usury

Thankfully there’s no real dirt on the Billionaires that fund our pet causes.


Boogie-Foot! Lives: A Cousin Of Bigfoot?

May 9, 2019

b782TruthScooper Times Reports— Recently discovered by Discernmentalists a new breed of the hideously heretically apostate Emerging hybrids—-a Semi-Pelagianese that was once thought to be extinct: Boogie-Foot. This four-eyed Romish unnatural perversion of God’s Holy Creation is said to be a close cousin of Bigfoot and is just one more of the ways in which the evil Emergent Babylonian hordes of Brian “Darn your soul to heck” McLaren’s apostate army stoops in order to eradicate Absolute Biblical Truth (as defined by our Truth War Pope). This hideous hybrid of Monocles and Synergy hypnotizes it’s victims with Contemplative chanting and the unholy flames of candlelight reminding all of it’s hellish origins and doctrines of demons. It chains it’s victims with the burden of Free Grace and a Freed Will towards charitable works. Rumors say it gravitates towards couches and dark roast coffee and other sinisterly Socialistic past times like soccer not to mention Sacher Tortes.

We were granted permission to help ODM Researchmentalists interview a survivor of a Boogie-Foot abduction who spun this mighty fine yarn:

Then they approached me, and I pissed my pants, literally. I am not ashamed to say this, I was so fearful I had no idea if this was it you know? That’s when I saw their heads. Their necks were hairless and they reminded me of vultures. Their heads had red hair, but also black feathers or I don’t know what it was, but it looked like feathers to me. Their eyes were dark, very dark and big as they got close to me.

His hair was long and about the same texture as mine as I recall. The hair on all of them was about the same shade of brown, like the color of the decomposed wood layer in the forest. I could see skin around his eyes that was tanned looking and where there was facial hair it was more sparse with glimpses of skin showing through that area as well. I couldn’t make out a neck.  His chin was broad, his teeth were about the size of the nail on my middle finger but they were more flat and he had a mouthful of them meaning the width of his “bite” was wide.  His mouth was wide enough to show most of them.  His eyes were dark with some white around them, less so than human eyes.  They were kind with crows feet at the outer edge of them.  His skin was weathered like anyone who spent much time outside, like a farmer.  His shoulders were very broad though I did see his collar bone on one side which looked thick compared to a humans.  He was muscular and heavily built but in no way fat. (Source)

When they preach a sermon, they are practically choosing their theological roots by what they say in the pulpit.  They may not use the same word of phrase, but their meaning is quite the same, and sometimes just as strong as Pelagius or Arminius of old.  Instead of wrestling with these ideas, Evangelicals today simply follow the crowd at chow time.  They eat what their pastors give them without any recourse to study what is being said or check if their pastor is right.  Instead, because of a charismata that is easier to feel than exegesis is to study, they are falling headlong into the abyss of Pelagian and Semi-Pelagian doctrine which is another Gospel, or no Gospel, altogether.  Entire Christian universities and theological schools have been given over to this blatant kind of religious humanism.  John Owen rightly said in his day, “Many at this day will condemn both Pelagius and the doctrine that he taught, in the words wherein he taught it, and yet embrace and approve of the things themselves which he intended.”[69]

However, though Owen said this four hundred years ago, it is more true today than it was at his time.  But there has been a change.  It is not that men deny Pelagianism, for most pastors have no idea what Pelagianism or Semi-Pelagianism is at all.  Rather, they simply believe the doctrines of Pelagius and Arminius at the expense of even knowing in which theological camp they are historically bound.  Truly, the Evangelical church today is captive.

It is impossible to deny the overwhelming degree that the church is under the Pelagian captivity of old.—Mick Russels

Researchmentalists theorize that Boogie-Foot’s prime habitation is in the Synagogue of Satan deep within Emergent Villages and that there may be others among them based on the victim’s testimony in the above interview. Little is known about Boogie-Foot other than what Discernmentalist Researchmentalists in the field of Sintology have observed using their herescopes. Although beard hair samples have been collected and tested by top Sintologists. The test results revealed just what we expected that it’s beard is unbiblical. Supposedly this particular one had spider arms. Putting all together what we know these TruthScoopers warn: Beware the Boogie-Foot that cometh lest the Reformation erode.

 

————-Julia Bottomman, AP


Breaking: Pulpit & Pen exposed as Pinkos!

May 1, 2019

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Partnering with our old comrades allies in our Truth War again: McCarthy Ministries have detected subtly subliminal communist propaganda in our once ally now enemy: Pulpit & Pen. Now we have even more reason to suspect them of not holding true to our Doctrines and have no other choice but to put them on our Watch-list. This is all-concerning because Pulpit & Pen themselves have taught:

If a movement were of God, we should expect it to begin within the local church and work outward into the world. Social Justice, on the other hand, is entirely externally driven and is working inwardly upon the local churches. There isn’t any better reason to believe that Social Justice is not of Christ than to see that it is a movement pressing upon the local church and not a movement by the local church.

While researchers have uncovered the political motivations and corrupt cash being spent by men like James Riady and George Soros and laundered through The Gospel Coalition, most should be able to admit that it’s parachurch ministries that are driving the Social Justice Bandwagon.

Social Justice is an ideology birthed out of Critical Theory and Libertion Theology, the product of a wedding between Italian fascists and South American Jesuits, in which Marxist thought is combined with Theism to bring about political change.

But now this—our old allies McCarthy Ministries have detected Red so now we must call all True Truth Warriors to continue to unite with us and help us take a stand against Pulpit & Pen aka People’s Propaganda aka the Pinko’s Party. We must also continue with our bombardment campaign of them using our Weapons of Massive Destruction. Thankfully you have True Online Discernmentalist Ministries like us to warn you of all those straying off the  True Path set before us by the Protestant Reformers who just like us didn’t believe in “Social” Justice—especially not Martin Luther the founding father of the Protestant Revolution….er Reformation.

Don Jobson and Truthslayer—-manning the Massives while I. Todyaso is conducting our business affairs.


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