March 12, 2020
In a pandemic of epic proportions the Center for Discernmental Diseases (CDD) reports that 100s of Discrnmentalists have been affected by the “Discerna” virus. Eric Barger has already discerned: “I suppose those who are writing or repeating that sort of condemnation believe that only a select few are “woke” enough to walk the straight and narrow of political correctness. What about “Lime Disease,” the origin of which is Lime, Connecticut, or “Ebola,” named for a river in the African Republic of Congo, or “Zika” or “West Nile,” both of which originated in Uganda, or the Swine Flu, from, you guessed it, pigs? How far will the PC nonsense go!?”
Other Discernmentalists have discernmentalized that the “Discerna” virus is a moral good for Ayn Rand’s social-Darwinism.
So if you or any of your loved ones have been stricken by the “Discerna” virus—-the ODMafia recommends mothballs for your protection. Only $9,999! Act now and get a Holy HAND GRENADE free with purchase…results may vary.
September 23, 2019
Lighthouse Trails has announced an official new name. There are currently no other details available at this time….we believe that if one peruses their website the name change is probably fitting.
May 16, 2019
Depiction of the event in question
Our secret identities *were almost revealed by a Freudian slip made in a unSocialist media conversation today with a Sasquatch. Thankfully our identities are fully protected by our cloaking technology as are our Doctrines extra protected by our new Action Pants. Dr. Itodyaso using Convincing Iridescent Shockwaves soothed the Sasquatch while Don Jobson Bellowed Convincing yelps. Meanwhile Truthslayer missing in action was Secretly operating Laser mirroring images with help from Eric Barger’s STRETCH technology from our notTwitter page in order to erase the Sasquatch’s memory. We wonder if this is revenge for when Bigfoot almost got saved and are now beginning to wonder if this Sasquatch is really secretly a Boogie-Foot. As our late great Pastor-Teacher use to say:
“Boogie-foots are hijacking conservative evangelical denominations by New Age mysticism and here’s how to spot these dangerous teachings…HOW DO Christians know what to think when our pastors bring teachings into church that are rooted in heresy or the occult? Discernmentalism, that’s how. Know the genuine article so you can spot the counterfeit.”
Sadly our Discernmentalism is still suffering from the shock of having our secret identities almost revealed that we have yet to discernmentalize whether or not this Sasquatch is a Bigfoot or Boogie-Foot or an Abominable Snowman.
Still hiding in our Truth protected by our Doctrines as the job of discernmentalizing discerners is not for the faint of heart,
*Update: We almost forgot that we learnt to hide our identities from our late mentor:
I have learned from my Mentor, the esteemed Discernmentalist Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva, who was in turn mentored by the late Dr. Walter Martin, that one should never truly reveal one’s identity. No one knows how the esteemed Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva looks like, where his church is or even if Ken Silva is his real name. This is important in order to safe guard one’s reputation and even life. You never know when one of those emergent heretics decide to do some Transcendental Meditation and comes to haunt you in your very own home!
Will Farel XV
from for the Truth