Sasquatch almost reveals Secret Identities of Online Discernmentalists behind the Mafia

May 16, 2019

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Depiction of the event in question

Our secret identities *were almost revealed by a Freudian slip made in a unSocialist media conversation today with a Sasquatch. Thankfully our identities are fully protected by our cloaking technology as are our Doctrines extra protected by our new Action Pants. Dr. Itodyaso using Convincing Iridescent Shockwaves soothed the Sasquatch while Don Jobson Bellowed Convincing yelps. Meanwhile Truthslayer missing in action was Secretly operating Laser mirroring images with help from Eric Barger’s STRETCH technology from our notTwitter page in order to erase the Sasquatch’s memory. We wonder if this is revenge for when Bigfoot almost got saved and are now beginning to wonder if this Sasquatch is really secretly a Boogie-Foot. As our late great Pastor-Teacher use to say:

“Boogie-foots are hijacking conservative evangelical denominations by New Age mysticism and here’s how to spot these dangerous teachings…HOW DO Christians know what to think when our pastors bring teachings into church that are rooted in heresy or the occult? Discernmentalism, that’s how. Know the genuine article so you can spot the counterfeit.”

Sadly our Discernmentalism is still suffering from the shock of having our secret identities almost revealed that we have yet to discernmentalize whether or not this Sasquatch is a Bigfoot or Boogie-Foot or an Abominable Snowman.

Still hiding in our Truth protected by our Doctrines as the job of discernmentalizing discerners is not for the faint of heart,

Don Jobson

*Update: We almost forgot that we learnt to hide our identities from our late mentor:

I have learned from my Mentor, the esteemed Discernmentalist Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva, who was in turn mentored by the late Dr. Walter Martin, that one should never truly reveal one’s identity. No one knows how the esteemed Pastor-Teacher Ken Silva looks like, where his church is or even if Ken Silva is his real name. This is important in order to safe guard one’s reputation and even life. You never know when one of those emergent heretics decide to do some Transcendental Meditation and comes to haunt you in your very own home!

Will Farel XV
Hiding from for the Truth


Boogie-Foot! Lives: A Cousin Of Bigfoot?

May 9, 2019

b782TruthScooper Times Reports— Recently discovered by Discernmentalists a new breed of the hideously heretically apostate Emerging hybrids—-a Semi-Pelagianese that was once thought to be extinct: Boogie-Foot. This four-eyed Romish unnatural perversion of God’s Holy Creation is said to be a close cousin of Bigfoot and is just one more of the ways in which the evil Emergent Babylonian hordes of Brian “Darn your soul to heck” McLaren’s apostate army stoops in order to eradicate Absolute Biblical Truth (as defined by our Truth War Pope). This hideous hybrid of Monocles and Synergy hypnotizes it’s victims with Contemplative chanting and the unholy flames of candlelight reminding all of it’s hellish origins and doctrines of demons. It chains it’s victims with the burden of Free Grace and a Freed Will towards charitable works. Rumors say it gravitates towards couches and dark roast coffee and other sinisterly Socialistic past times like soccer not to mention Sacher Tortes.

We were granted permission to help ODM Researchmentalists interview a survivor of a Boogie-Foot abduction who spun this mighty fine yarn:

Then they approached me, and I pissed my pants, literally. I am not ashamed to say this, I was so fearful I had no idea if this was it you know? That’s when I saw their heads. Their necks were hairless and they reminded me of vultures. Their heads had red hair, but also black feathers or I don’t know what it was, but it looked like feathers to me. Their eyes were dark, very dark and big as they got close to me.

His hair was long and about the same texture as mine as I recall. The hair on all of them was about the same shade of brown, like the color of the decomposed wood layer in the forest. I could see skin around his eyes that was tanned looking and where there was facial hair it was more sparse with glimpses of skin showing through that area as well. I couldn’t make out a neck.  His chin was broad, his teeth were about the size of the nail on my middle finger but they were more flat and he had a mouthful of them meaning the width of his “bite” was wide.  His mouth was wide enough to show most of them.  His eyes were dark with some white around them, less so than human eyes.  They were kind with crows feet at the outer edge of them.  His skin was weathered like anyone who spent much time outside, like a farmer.  His shoulders were very broad though I did see his collar bone on one side which looked thick compared to a humans.  He was muscular and heavily built but in no way fat. (Source)

When they preach a sermon, they are practically choosing their theological roots by what they say in the pulpit.  They may not use the same word of phrase, but their meaning is quite the same, and sometimes just as strong as Pelagius or Arminius of old.  Instead of wrestling with these ideas, Evangelicals today simply follow the crowd at chow time.  They eat what their pastors give them without any recourse to study what is being said or check if their pastor is right.  Instead, because of a charismata that is easier to feel than exegesis is to study, they are falling headlong into the abyss of Pelagian and Semi-Pelagian doctrine which is another Gospel, or no Gospel, altogether.  Entire Christian universities and theological schools have been given over to this blatant kind of religious humanism.  John Owen rightly said in his day, “Many at this day will condemn both Pelagius and the doctrine that he taught, in the words wherein he taught it, and yet embrace and approve of the things themselves which he intended.”[69]

However, though Owen said this four hundred years ago, it is more true today than it was at his time.  But there has been a change.  It is not that men deny Pelagianism, for most pastors have no idea what Pelagianism or Semi-Pelagianism is at all.  Rather, they simply believe the doctrines of Pelagius and Arminius at the expense of even knowing in which theological camp they are historically bound.  Truly, the Evangelical church today is captive.

It is impossible to deny the overwhelming degree that the church is under the Pelagian captivity of old.—Mick Russels

Researchmentalists theorize that Boogie-Foot’s prime habitation is in the Synagogue of Satan deep within Emergent Villages and that there may be others among them based on the victim’s testimony in the above interview. Little is known about Boogie-Foot other than what Discernmentalist Researchmentalists in the field of Sintology have observed using their herescopes. Although beard hair samples have been collected and tested by top Sintologists. The test results revealed just what we expected that it’s beard is unbiblical. Supposedly this particular one had spider arms. Putting all together what we know these TruthScoopers warn: Beware the Boogie-Foot that cometh lest the Reformation erode.

 

————-Julia Bottomman, AP


Introducing: Our Newest Course….Heresy-Hunting 101!

April 27, 2019

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Direct from our Pulpit & Pens we’ll teach you  how to be master Heresy-Hunters such as ourselves:

  1. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to perceive the dangers around them. Again, being discernmentalizing is not about being psychic. (Unless of course you’re like us and have Bible-osmosis). Most discernmentmentalism is just about paying attention to your spiritual surroundings. Most people just will not stop and notice. Go to the shopping mall and watch people. Most people are walking around completely oblivious to the dangers around them, walking from Victoria’s Secret to Spencer’s Gifts without looking up from their Angry Birds app. And if you look long enough, you’ll see somebody else watching people – that’s the discernmentalizing guy. As paranoid as it may be, I’ve always been the type of guy to sit with my back to the wall at a restaurant or watching the hands of the guy in front of me at the convenience store. I’m cognizant of the vehicles that go down my street and have a mental note of the makes and models of all the vehicles on my block in case something is out of place. Most people are simply not that way, and that goes for Christians in the spiritual realm.

  2. You cannot underestimate the inability of most Christians to be students of history – ancient or near history. Ronald Reagan reportedly said, “For liberals, history began when they were born.” For many Christians, that’s probably too optimistic; for many, history began this morning. Another apocalypse date? Really? Again?! And yet, Christians are falling for this. Another omen interpretation? For crying out loud. Rick Warren again insinuates an altogether different cult from last time are his spiritual brothers and you think he just is inarticulate…again. For realsies? Osteen again plays the “I don’t know” card when he’s asked about the exclusivity of Christ? The fact is, most Christians aren’t keeping track of this stuff. They don’t read the news. The first time a sheep “accidentally” bumps off a fellow sheep maybe they’re just clumsy. The second time, it’s bizarre. But the third time that sheep rolls in with mutton between his teeth and lamb’s blood on his chin and you might just have a wolf.

  3. The “discernmentmentalist community” seems to speak in almost absolute unity concerning the more prominent wolves in the flock of modern evangelicalism. There are hyper-Arminians in the Pulpit Bunker. They’re there because they don’t agree with us on discernmentalist issues and they hate and try to pervert our Pure soteriology. There isn’t a Lutheran discernmentalist community, because they’re not Calvinistic enough to be True Christians©®™. There’s a Presbyterian discernmentalist community fighting for our Pure Church polity. There’s a Reformed Baptist discernmentalist community and one in almost every segment of evangelicalism except in charismatic circles (haven’t found one there yet). We may strangle each other over infant “baptism” (see those scare quotes I did just for giggles?) but we agree on Warren, Osteen, Meyer, Moore, the other Moore, the Mystichicks, et al. What could possibly be the reason for that unity, despite the obvious division? It’s #4.

  4. Discernmentalism is a spiritual gift, and should be fostered and promoted as essential to the local and universal church. The reason for unity in the discernment community is that discernment really is a Spirit-led (Hebrews 5:14). The same Spirit that guides the Presbyterians (but not the Lutherans) is the same spirit that leads the Reformed Baptists. We may don’t have different hermeneutics or interpretative presuppositions that allows us to land in different Confessions as our discernmentalist spidey senses all tingle when a wolf draws near.

  5. No matter how many times you’re right, you’re a H8r. No one (well, hardly no one) will come to you and say, “Okay. You were right. Sorry for calling you a H8r.” No, it’s “Lucky guess, but you’re still a H8r.” If you’re in this business for the public accolades, you’ll be sorely disappointed.

If your church is a True Church like ours then they would benefit from our Clear Teachings in this course on Heresy-Hunting as our Teachings are the same as the late great Ken Silva’s Clear Teachings who recommended and followed the Clear Teachings of our Pope of our Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH)’s Clear Teachings—so that makes us more than qualified in our expertise to lecture you on True Heresy-Hunting. Just one second of our course will  make you an expert Discernmentalist and Master Heresy-Hunter just not  as high and mighty in the standards of our Doctrine. Applicants must complete our self-righteousness course first.


Social Media leads to Socialism!

April 26, 2019

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We  know so as our Research Robot Monkeys who are always combing the inter-webs for all things heretical and apostate; closet commie, liberal socialist or even slightly pink discovered that Social Media leads to Socialism. Even Socialists themselves have admitted that: “…the Internet and social media are often a useful complement to the kinds of activism that the left has traditionally engaged in.”

We agree as the Christian Researchmentalist Network of Discernmentalists who our late great Pastor-Teacher once led also noted:

Brandon Morse noticed Twitter was preventing him from tweeting a link to an article by a controversial conservative columnist. This follows stories of Google-owned YouTube “demonetizing” videos by conservatives, unplugging them from the ability to make money from ads, and Facebook and Google targeting conservative sites for hilariously inaccurate and tendentious “fact checks.” It’s becoming clear that the big social media companies are targeting ideas and thinkers on the Right, and not just the far-out provocateurs and trolls like Milo Yianopoulos, but everyone.

This is why we must take a stand in our Clear Teachings and forbid anyone from using social media sites lest they are led into the satanically inspired perverted cult of socialism. We of the Mafia and God’s Only Inerrant Party never use any social media sites as that would compromise our Pure Doctrines and lead us into socializing as well as socialism. Besides that social media is too worldly for our taste and we being True Men of God have better uses of our time as we’re out there scaring sharing preaching and teaching our the pagan American Jesus’ Gospel of God’s Wrath and hate grace into with everyone just like Eric Barger of Take a Stand Ministries who had this to say about socialism:

“We who understand truth and error, and who know because of the Scriptures where all of the events around us are leading, stand directly in the path opposing the grand plans of the globalists. That plan is, of course, the building of the utopian one-world system. Nationalists, patriots, conservatives and, above all, biblical Christians are already disdained, ridiculed, and even hated by the growing numbers of socialists surrounding us. Someday, we will be the enemies of the state.”

If you would like to know more—please sign up for our unsocial Media sites: ODMafia; GOIP Page and notTwitter and get  more articles such as this one that will help you take a stand against social media and socialism. And remember as Eric Barger said:

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Give me that Old Time Ken Silvan Religion!

April 25, 2019

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I the ever-discernmentalizing and mighty I. Todyaso with the self-righteous finger of judgment have made my return after hiding in our underground bunker because of the emergent persecution as recently pointed out by our friend Don Jobson we have faced since one of our co-discernmentalists and mentors the ever Apprising Ken Silva and a few other of our Discermentalist bretheren have fallen in battle in our Truth War.

After many years of  mourning our personal mentor in the ways of our Truth War and much researchmentalizing—it has come to my attention through bible-based osmosis that what the world needs now more than ever is more of that Old Time Ken Silvan Religion.

It saddens me that all those impure in our great doctrines of hate grace didn’t heed our warnings against rampart apostasy. The great falling away is in our midst and I can no longer keep silent. The emergent hordes have brought us to this:

apostasy

Proof of Your Doom

This is why we  had to come back from hiding out in our bunker to point our mighty finger of judgmentalism and laugh at you sinners because we’re saved and you’re not. In fact I think Ken Silva is rolling over in his grave. So remember all we told you. Why…because….

I. Todyaso


NEITHER OBAMA’S NOR TRUMP’S NSA ARE SEVERE ENOUGH…

April 24, 2019

 

calvin-servetus

      NSA NOT SEVERE ENOUGH

Written By Ron Jobson (Don Jobson’s “Liberal” Brother) when False President Obama Bin Laden was still occupying the Oval Office

“There are a bunch of people who hate (the) N.S.A.,” says Laura Blakey, (but it follows our Truth War Doctrines)….I think our Christianity offends them.”

I am saddened to learn that Obama is moderately reforming the NSA as I was hoping for a more severe reform as the NSA follows the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Clearly Obama is slipping into the man-worshipping heresy of semi-Pelagian Arminianism by not extending the NSA’s reach into spying on further areas of our lives just as the Pure Doctrine of Calvin proclaims. Thankfully Obama is still regulating us though he isn’t severely over-regulating us enough to reach the excellent quality of the sheer beauty of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. (And as we all know “I have my own private opinion that there is no such thing as preaching Christ and Him crucified, unless we preach what nowadays is called Calvinism. It is a nickname to call it Calvinism; Calvinism is the gospel, and nothing else.”—Saint Charles Spurgeon and that John Calvin is the father of the theological system known as Calvinism. Praise Geneva and Dort and that John MacArthur (PBUH) is his final Prophet and Pope of our Truth War).:

“The notorious Consistory of ministers and elders was constituted by six clerics and twelve elders and operated like an Inquisition in the attempt to regulate every detail of private individual life and devotion. Calvin disliked all forms of public entertainment. His laws which, at first, prohibited a category of unapproved plays were finally extended to ban all forms of public theatrical performances. Card playing, extravagant dressing and hairstyle, dancing and singing, non-religious songs, all forms of instrumental music and choral harmony was prohibited in both secular and religious life and condemned as frivolous and ungodly. The sale of wine and beer was restricted to a few merchants licensed by the Consistory. Preachers were empowered to investigate cases of violation of the religious law and could violate a family’s privacy in the process. The Consistory employed the services of spies to gather information and evidence.”

Hopefully Obama (now Trump our Sovereign God-willing) will get onto really over-regulating every minute detail of our lives and spying on us in the Biblically-Correct manner of the Pure Doctrine of Calvin. Maybe then he’ll learn that I supported some Libertarians in the previous elections (sheer heresy) for as we know: “Calvin branded his opponents “Libertines” (the group opposed to Calvin referred to itself as the “Children of Geneva“). He called them “heretics” and “atheists” and employed the powers of the state to suppress them.” (That’s what Libertarians were called back then—also Libertarians sound like that unbiblical and ungodly term libertarian free will). And as the inerrant Romans 13 as well as Calvin’s final Prophet and our Pope of the Truth War John MacArthur (PBUH) teaches us that we should obey the Government in all things without question:

“[1] Let every person be subject to Obama (now Trump). For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. [2] Therefore whoever resists Obama resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. [3] For Obama is not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of Obama? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, [4] for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. [5] Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. [6] For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. [7] Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed.”—“Now listen to this. It doesn’t matter whether your ruler is Caesar, Herod, Pilate, Felix, Fetus, Agrippa, Stalin, Hitler, Winston Churchill, Bill Clinton, it doesn’t matter who it is, he says be subject, you teach them to be subject.”

Maybe also then I can hopefully be tried for such a treasonous and heretical crime as supporting some Libertines/Libertarians. Maybe I’ll be thrown in prison or exiled from this pre-ordained Christian Nation but those punishments are too good for such a treasonous/heretical act as to question Obama in trying to follow the Pure Doctrine of Calvin with the NSA. It would be better if I were ‘put to death by slow burning at the stake for denouncing the tyranny of Obama and his NSA.’ I preach this Sound Biblical warning to you brethren to heed our Truth War Pope John MacArthur’s (PBUH) Biblically Orthodox Christian command to obey thy Government in all things without question. Or as John Calvin and the NSA would say: ‘we see whoever you sinners are sleeping with/we know when you’re awake/we know if you’ve been bad or good /so be good for meaninglessness’ sake…’

Addendum: After all of that time and with a truly Godly and Biblical President around though he has yet to implement our Pure Doctrines—I immediately repented of my support of libertine apostates and with my brother Don’s help got resanctified by voting for Trump. We would do well to lobby our leaders to follow: “….Calvin’s Geneva, considered by Knox to be “a perfect school of Christ”, that provided the model and template for the Reformation that would later achieve success in Scotland.” I now pledge to renew my vow to our Truth War by standing fast against all our enemies who try to pervert the Pure Doctrine of Calvin for:

To speak disrespectfully of Calvin or the clergy was a crime. A first violation of these ordinances was punished with a reprimand, further violation with fines, persistent violation with imprisonment or banishment. Fornication was to be punished with exile or drowning; adultery, blasphemy, or idolatry, with death. In one extraordinary instance a child was beheaded for striking its parents (link).

 


A quick hitter

April 23, 2019

Priest

Hello my faithful warriors for faith!  It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything for I was battling the semipelagianist  around the globe. 37 countries and countless battles and I firmly believe that we are winning the battle.  I ask that all of you stand steadfast against the teaching of the post modernists and liberal feminists.   Let us pray strongly for our brothers in arms John Piper and Rush Limbaugh.    Let us pray that God, in his sovereignty, would bless our great Truth War once again against all those who would stand against us and our eternal struggle. Let us fight against Easter worshippers and all those who would dare call Christians Easter worshippers. Let us spread more Pizzagates and QaNon propaganda to take a stand against the vaccinated apostates who pervert our Pure Doctrines for: “There is nothing makes a man suspect much, more than to know little.”—FRANCIS BACON, Of Suspicion, 1625.

I write this from the Fema Concentration camp that I stole my guns back from comforted by John MacArthur (PBUH)’s words: “There has been a conspiracy to cover up a truth that is so essential to the New Testament, that without it we misunderstand our relationship to Jesus Christ.” And we discernmentalists know all about conspiracies. I immediately renew my pledge in the Truth War to conspire in our Truth doctrines against the unwashed masses. Well I’m off to yet again fight with another camp of apostates, the lamestream media and hairy mystics chanting with earth worshipping feminists but I leave you with one conspiratorial essential quote which helps us understand our relationship to misogyny Jesus even more:

This is the real danger. The very idea of Christian feminism has become a Trojan horse for theological liberalism. The popular “Christian” feminists, such as Rachel Held Evans and Sarah Bessey, are advocates for a host of theologically liberal positions ranging from pro-gay theology to denying Biblical inerrancy to advocating for alternative views of God the Father Himself to minimizing the atonement. It is not as if they are drawing on historic Biblical doctrine to ground equality. Rather, they begin with a modernist conception of “equality” and insist on reading that into the Bible. Christian feminism is not based on good exegesis, but eisegesis. It is not a Christianization of feminism, but a secularization of Christianity. And it gains traction, especially among younger Christians, because there is a biblical ideal of equality based on man and woman’s creation in the image of God (see Genesis 1:26-27). Yet like all doctrinal dangers and compromises, the truth is mixed with a great deal of error. And while Christian feminism starts with a true proposition, it quickly devolves into a host of false teachings, biblical distortions, and even heresies.

If Christian feminism were marked by biblical teaching on sex and gender roles, and didn’t have a host of doctrinal distortions smuggled in with it, then I would have no quarrel or qualm with it. If my compatriots in the Assemblies of God would exercise even a little discernment when quoting Christian feminists who actively deny AG doctrine, I would be less concerned. But instead advocacy of Christian feminism, especially among Millennials, is doctrinally uninformed, Biblically void, historically ignorant, philosophically incoherent, and naive in nearly every way.

Christian feminism is a Trojan horse. It will rot the religion in which it appears, destroying from within Christianity’s Biblical and historic teachings on God and man’s relationship to Him. I know this sounds alarmist and overblown. But the time to sound alarmist is decidedly BEFORE the barbarians are inside the gates. You sound the alarm before the trap is sprung, in hopes that you don’t get caught in the trap. On doctrinal issues, I want to alert people to the problem before they make a commitment to false teaching (Proverbs 12:13).

To anyone who objects especially liberal feminists… I reply….

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