December 7, 2010
Introducing the all new
the fun new Bible-based game for Discernmentalist families to practice their pretzel-logic skills.
A sample logic puzzle from our game:
According to the Bible, God not only knows the future, (God is omniscient) but He has unchangeably ordained everything from the beginning, and He infallibly brings to pass all things according to His perfect plan. Also according to the Bible, Jesus is God but Jesus does not know the future nor the hour of the end of the world. Giving these facts Jesus is either:
a) a liar; not who the Bible says He is;
b) God does not know (all of) the future, He takes risks, learns lessons, makes mistakes and changes His mind (Open Theism);
c) of course, Jesus is God—THE BIBLE is Inerrantly clear!;
or d) a black & white answer that doesn’t satisfactorily answer this question.
The answer of course is d. Thank you for playing Black-n-White-o-poly!!!
November 11, 2010
With the all new MIND CONTROL SPRAY (researched by ODMAFIA) – you simply apply the spray to any clear thinking person rejects your illogical lines of random and ill conceived thoughts. Whomever is sprayed will begin to succumb to such as phrases as “bible believing,” “absolute biblical truth,” and “bible based, ” as a form of self-affirming circular logic. Because we say its true…it is true Using these phrases coupled with almost any idea imaginable will enable someone under control of the MIND CONTROL SPRAY to appreciate any insight you have as “bible believing” etc. In addition, if you suffer from any latent paranoia regarding the potential for false teaching this will aid in bringing your fears to an entirely new level. With MIND CONTROL SPRAY you will quickly begin referring everyone who does not measure up to your perfect doctrine as unAmerican, unbiblical, liberal, left-wing, emergent, catholic, anglican, liberal-biased, heretic, communist, democrat, socialist, marxist, peaceniks and anti-semite.
Bible based slander is needed in these troubling times….be sure to order yours today!
PS Use two squirts of Mind Control to reduce any peace loving, anti-war sentiment.
August 17, 2010
Our every truthful, always discerning Research Robot Monkeys have discovered a lake in Peru: Lake Titicaca. You KNOW as well as I do what this name entails!!!! The name is littered with verbal filth and vulgarity…and our readers should be shielded from this. We are not surprised at all, especially when found in a foreign country. As a matter of fact we believe that there are NO Christians in Peru and therefore would explain why a lake would have such a heinous name. It is probably that there are no Christians in Peru because there are no freedom loving Republicans who live there.
We are encouraging all our faithful discernmentalist brethren to place a ban on Lake Titicaca. In fact we implore you to boycott his lake by taking a stand and NOT going on vacation at Lake Titicaca. We therefore ask Eric’s Take A Stand, Crosstalk, Apprising Ministries, Brannon Howse, Lighthouse Trails, Discerning the World and others to truly fight this until Peru CHANGES the name of this dastardly lake. Let’s strike back at darkness, by proclaiming absolute biblical truth….this is a war worth fighting.
PS IF Peru will not relent on the name change, we will lobby congress to begin lobbing bombs until freedom reigns in Peru!
August 10, 2010
Our faithful Research Robot Monkeys are ever scouring the world in our quest of rooting out the True Christians from the fakers and pretenders; the True Converts from the False Converts. This was why we were so shocked when thanks to our Research Robot Monkey Infiltrators we discovered that Fox News are so ungodly. Not only is Fox News ungodly, they are also full of fake and pretend Christians aka False Converts because they pretend to be bible-believing Conservatives while all the while secretly supporting the ungodly liberal agenda. Here for all the world our Research Robot Monkeys expose Fox News’ Hidden Liberal Agenda:
- they are way too ecumenical
- ecumenism = liberalism
- ecumenism = one world religion/one world government/new world order
- they mix True Bible-Believing Conservative Christian Believers with False Converts such as Mary and Pope-worshipping Romanists and non-Christians (Mormons) against the clear Bible teaching of the Doctrine of Separatism in 2 Corinthians 6:14-18
- by being ecumenical they plan to unleash an unholy hybrid of Calvinism (Absolute Biblical Truth) with Papism and Mormonism upon the world
- they are crybabies
- crying = effeminate
- effeminate = queerosexual
- queerosexual = liberal
- liberal = terrorist
But most importantly they broke the 11th Commandment—one of the holiest of all commandments which is: “Thou shall not cry with an unbeliever; it is an abomination.”
(Holy Ways Of The Master King James John MacArthur Bible: Wretched Edition).